Post # 1
This is obviously inspired by Miss D’orsay’s post, but it brought up an important item I have been on the fence about for a while.
Our wedding reception is to be held at our home on the beach. Initially, I assumed we were just going to stay here that night and not in a hotel down the road. However, my father thinks the "grand exit" is necessary and that we should stay at a hotel at least for a night. In his opinion it is an important tradition that the family & friends wish the couple off on their wedding night. I agree that the act of "leaving for the wedding night" is something I like; it is not important to my fiance.
We are already over budget, so that limits our options concerning price. If we were to "splurge", which would mean we would stay at a very nice hotel down the road, we would be paying about $400 to stay for the night in a hotel room 10 miles down from our own beach. However, the non-splurging options do not seem worthwhile for the money. I would rather we stayed in our own home for our wedding night than in a less expensive hotel room that would not be worth it. So then the question is whether the $400 is worth it for a hotel room from approximately 9 pm-11:00 am checkout. My father would generously offer to pay for it if I told him of my dilemma, but they are already paying for almost half the wedding and financially they are not in the position to do it but they would without a second’s hesitation.
We could also just do the photos of the "exit", as Mis D’orsay suggested. I’m just wondering whether actually leaving is worth it or not? I know this will ultimately be my decision, but I can’t decide exactly how important it is to me just yet. Anyone have any insight to offer?
Post # 3
- Wedding: August 2018 - Oakland Manor
If I had a home in the US – I would stay in it 🙂 I think I just really like the photo ops of it and the idea of our friends and family wishing us well. I’m not sure if we need to stay in a hotel for the night. It would be nice, but like you we’re running out of our budget and I’m also not sure if it’s worth it. Also, the "wishing us well" can occur at any time, I like the idea of it as we come back down the aisle or during our first dance. I can see your dad’s point, but I really like the idea of cuddling up in our home with our pets and champagne afterwards (esp if a hotel is 400 and you have to wake up early). I’m not sure which beach you’re at in Florida but are there nice hotels more inland you could stay at?
In my dream (where we have a home) we’d go back to our clean house (I said it was a dream) and have a wonderful night, wake up and cook a light breakfast together and then get ready for brunch.
Post # 4
This kind of reminds of me of the Suze Orman show where people call in and ask "can i afford xyz" and as soon as she hears "credit card debt" she says "denied!" without letting them speak anymore. As soon as I saw "already over budget" I thought "not worth it." It sounds like you have a beautiful home (on the beach!) and that neither you or your fiance have your heart set on this, so save that cash for something else you’d both rather have. Or slyly suggest to your Dad that if he wants you to have an exit he can splurge for a nice hotel!
Post # 5
We won’t be leaving our reception until everyone else has…and then we’ll be meeting our friends in the hotel bar for an after party so in my mind a "grand exit" isn’t necessary
and ditto what BaghdadBride said – "over budget" = not worth it. Enjoy your first night as husband and wife in your home!
(actually I would have loved to have done that but we get a free hotel room with our reception so we’re staying there. But I think there’s something romantic about coming home in your wedding dress!)
Post # 6
- Wedding: October 2018 - Auberge du Soleil
I think it is a good idea to stay some where else for the night. The main reason is becuase it may be hard to "wrap up the night" since the party will be at your home. There always tends to be stragglers and without out an official closing time you could end up hosting people all night. Plus, then you have to wake up with the leftover "mess" from the party.
With that said, I would not splurge on a fancy hotel if you have a tight budget. You will be so tired after your day that you won’t really appreciate the fancy expensiveness of it. If you really don’t want to get a hotel than you could "exit" the reception and really leave for a little while. Go get desert at a diner or take a walk on the beach. When you come back it will be just your house again and you can sleep in wedded bliss 🙂
Post # 7
Are you having a brunch the next morning? We did our sendoff then (biodegradable confetti and all), as we left for the airport for our honeymoon. It was a little more fitting that way.
To be honest, it would be really weird for me for someone to "send me off" on my wedding night.
Post # 8
You bees have great advice – it is nice to know I am not the only one who has thought of this. (Bear with me as I am going to try to insert hyperlinks )
dorsay: My FI loves the beach so staying inland for a night would kind of defeat the purpose of having the reception outside, but I totally agree because what I want is to have our puppy be together with us on our night – she is becoming a family too!
Habibi: & pinot : Our (tiny) apartment is actually part of a small rental prop. so our family is staying in the home up front, which is where the reception is taking place, so we will really always have people there even the couple days after the wedding; that isn’t really a prolbem since I can’t ever have enough family/friends around, but you ladies are right in that we will not appreciate the expensiveness of the hotel. We also would not be leaving until the reception was over since it will be sunset and we want pictures taken at sunset.
rebecca: We won’t be hosting a brunch, but will have lots of OOT guests to see the next day. The honeymoon is not until 3 weeks later.
Post # 9
Can you leave- a’la grand exit with sparklers or other fun shananigans but just you and new hubbie take a barefoot walk along the beach for a little while. Or hit up a nice bar/lounge and share a cocktail together and talk about what amazing thing you two just did and then mosey back to "home" later.
Post # 10
I would do the "Grand Exit" just as a way of letting people know that things were winding down, take a long drive down the coast (and if you’re like most couples I know you’ll want to take some food because you did not eat enough of it at your reception – so a late night picnic), have a bit of "OMG we’re married" time, then come back to a quiet home for the night. Hopefully there won’t be too much of a "mess" because your vendors and such will have taken care of that.
Post # 11
If it is important to you do it, But keep in mind that means packing a bag for the hotel, checking in, checking out….seems like a lot of hassle to me! But then again, the whole grand exit just wasn’t important to me – my husband and I stayed at one of the four rooms at our venue – our guests had the grand exit 🙂 Personally I LOVED just being able to go upstairs and crash (our wedding ended at midnight). Well, we didn’t exactly crash, we WERE newlyweds after all!!
Post # 12
It might be cool for you to change the tradition of the grand exit to suit your situation. Why not get everyone’s attention to let them know you are leaving the party (not the premisis), then your hubby could pick you up and carry you over the threshold. That is a tradition as well, and would make for cute pictures. Moreover, it is an older tradition that dates back to the time when the guest would witness the consecration of the marriage (though I am NOT suggesting that anyone see anything more than your hubby closing the door!!!) Anyway, it would give you a "grand exit," "crossing the threshold" and you wouldn’t have to stretch your budget.
Post # 13
we went to a wedding recently where the bride and groom made their "grand exit" (cowbells! so much fun! (especially since they’re both from farming families!)), and rode away. About 30 minutes later, they reappeared, having changed from the formal wedding and reception attire into a much more casual style. They still got their send-off and best wishes, but were able to stay home that night (similar situation in that the reception was in their home).
If it’s important to you and your dad, you could figure out something along those lines, without the added expense of staying in a hotel.
Post # 14
I really love the idea of having a send off, and then taking a walk or a drive down the coast. That seems incredibly romantic, lets you have some time together to revel in your newly found "married" status, and lets people know that the party is winding down. Then you can come back and crash for the night at your own place. You get the romance and seclusion of staying somewhere else without actually having to.
Post # 15
I agree with Mrs CPT. It’s nice to have a little alone time whether you are going to go to a hotel or stay at home. Personally we are going to a bed a breakfast because we both have roommates and we want our privacy, plus it’s a little special to go somewhere else besides your home.
Post # 16
I think that a grand exit is great for picture purposes, but totally not worth going even more over budget. Instead of a grand exit do a grand entrance to your reception.