Post # 1
My SO and I were on the couch yesterday watching our new favourite anime, when he brought up his upcoming plan to propose. He was a little scared he said that the ring might not be ready when he wants to ask me, and asked me how I felt about this. I told him I didn’t care, for all I cared he could propose to me with a single calla lily (my favourite flower) and I’d be happy. The ring could wait for me as long as he asked. Plus, if we got it a week or so later it’d be like two surprises all in one week and we could secretly enjoy being engaged for a bit with no pressure about dates, etc. from any one else like our families. What do you bees think? Is a ring really that important when your guy proposes?
Post # 3
In your situtation, I think not having a ring when he asks would be fine as long as you are okay with it. I selected yes in the poll though because for me personally, I would want the ring at the time of the proposal.
Post # 4
While I would prefer to have a ring when I am proposed to, I don’t think it’s the most important element. That honor goes for the actual asking. Besides, plenty of couples choose not to have engagement rings. As long as you are comfortable with not having a ring immediately, it’d be a valid option. 🙂
Post # 5
I think its sweet that your guy asked you about it. I don’t think you need a ring to be engaged.
Post # 6
Oh yeah I’m fine with it most definitely. SO is getting a huge cheque this paycheck so has decided to up the ring budget to get me a ring he feels I “truly deserve” haha. So he said that means that the ring may not be ready just yet when he wants to propose.
Post # 7
I told him the other day that I dont need a ring when he proposes, although I would like it. If he’s ready to propose then I want him to do it ring or not.
ETA: I think he already has it anyway so this isnt a worry for me. If it were a matter of money or not knowing what to get then like I said id be just as excited with just the proposal with a ring later.
Post # 8
Wow… If you are OK with it, then you’re a better person than I am. I would have been floored if no ring came with the proposal, especially since I picked it out!
Post # 9
We kinda did it weird. He asked me a few years ago when we were in bed and even though I said yes we didn’t consider ourselves engaged at all. It wasn’t until a few years later he was on his knee with the ring we considered ourselves engaged and actually getting married. So, obviously for us, it was very important. If he couldn’t afford the ring, we couldn’t afford to get married.
Post # 10
I had never really been a huge fan of the engagement ring tradition (I’m quite the super duper feminist) and so I’d always told my bf (at the time) that I didn’t want one. However, right before we decided to get engaged (no proposal, again my request) my mom gave me the engagement ring my dad had given her. I was going to have the diamond reset into a RHR. But then we decided that since he wasn’t doing the major purchasing of the ring (because the most expensive part of it already belonged to me) it no longer bothered my inner feminist for me to wear it as an engagement ring. So after we got engaged we looked around and designed a setting together, which he then had custom made. I got my completed ring a few months after we got engaged.
Post # 11
If you’re ok with not getting a ring right away than go ahead with it. The intent of marriage is more important than the ring anyway but for me getting a ring at the same time was very important to me.
Post # 12
My SO, now DH, and I lived together always with the intention of marrying at some point. We bought the ingredients for a ring and sent them off to a designer out of town. That poor man suffered 2 big accidents while he was working on our ring and my guy did not believe in proposing until he had a ring to go with it. It took 6 months to get the completed ring. I didn’t know it had been sent and my guy got it just as we were going away for a weekend to celebrate our third anniversary together. I was so shocked when he pulled out the ring and proposed! Definitely worth waiting for 🙂
Post # 13
Thanks for the answers everyone. No I’m fine with not having the ring, especially since he says it’ll probably be a week after the actual proposal. I mean, if he manages to get it on the day he proposes, then that would be awesome. But if it’s not there, I’m not gonna sweat it. I’ll still be happy he just asked me to marry him in the first place. Heck, I’d go down to the courthouse and marry him tomorrow if he wasn’t super intent on having this dream wedding at a castle that he wants.
Post # 14
For me, a ring was super important. He absolutely had to have a ring! However, I wouldn’t have cared if it was a $20 ring or a $20,000 ring. I just wanted everyone in the world to be able to instantly tell that I was engaged to the love of my life.
Post # 15
Haha, when he proposed I would have been fine with no ring or a simple ring (which is what I got, yay!).
The one thing that wouldn’t have been acceptable is if he had gotten me something huge and jewel-laden. I would have turned and walked away out of embarassment. Though I’m honestly the opposite of most girls. I wanted a couch proposal, lol. Turns out I got the fireworks, disneyland one. XD
Post # 16
If everything was spontaneous, I wouldn’t mind having a proposal without a ring. But now that we have talked about it for a year and a half now and looked at rings, talked about it endlessly, etc. AND I’ve been kept waiting for many months and I have more months to keep waiting, so the ring is non-negotiable at this point. His excuse is “saving for the ring” so I’m not going to wait and not have a ring!
In your situation, OP, are you planning on not announcing that you are engaged at first?
Plus, if we got it a week or so later it’d be like two surprises all in one week and we could secretly enjoy being engaged for a bit with no pressure about dates, etc. from any one else like our families.
Are you waiting for the ring before you announce anything or just to enjoy the engagement privately first? If I were you, that may be a good plan because as soon as you announce your engagement you get 2 questions- Have you set a date? And let’s see the ring!! So just be prepared for that!! 🙂