Post # 1
My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years now. There’s one thing that kind of bugs me. He started calling me his fiancé. And every person he meets he says that he’s engaged and when I meet the people he introduces me as his fiancé.
There was no special day where he proposed and there’s no ring involved. Does it matter that there’s no ring.
There are couple of times where I ask him if he’s ever gonna get me a ring, and he says yes but until he can afford it.
Am I doing something wrong by thinking this way. Wanting a ring so bad.
Post # 3
Hold on, did you ever actually agree to marry him or did he just start calling you his fiancé without giving you any warning?
As for the ring, I don’t think you’re doing anything wrong. Who doesn’t want a pretty sparkly thing? Try to be patient. You’ll get one eventually.
Post # 4
A ring is not required for engagement, but I know it is hard not to want one when it seems most people get one. If it is important to you, tell him it is and that you would like a ring. Keeping in mind that he can not afford an expensive ring, consider something non traditional which would be less expensive. You could even get costume jewelry from your local department store. The value of an engagement ring is in the sentiment, not in the price.
This one is $49.99 at J.C. Penney.
This one is $11.70 at Kohl’s.
Post # 5
I would probably feel the same way. I don’t know if a ring is totally necessary (although I don’t blame you for wanting one at all) but I think some kind of proposal is. Or at least a discussion deciding that you’re engaged.
I would be pretty peeved if he just assumed I was his fiancee…I would be like what did I miss?
Post # 6
Unless he got down on his knee and asked you to marry him, I wouldn’t think you were engaged. I feel like he is just assuming you are engaged because you have been together for 3 years, but that’s assuming a lot.
And the ring isn’t important, I think it just seals the deal. He could get you a sterling silver created gemstone ring for not very much and you could wear that until you want to upgrade to a different ring, if you ever do. Myself, I would have been perfectly fine with a twistee tie or a ring pop.
I just know that if FI just told people we were engaged without asking me, I’d be mad. Not for not having a big, expensive diamond ring but for not having that special moment in which he asked me.
So to answer your question you are not wrong for thinking this way at all. You just want what you always imagined a proposal should be.
Post # 7
A ring is not necessary- I always said I didn’t want one. Of course, when it came down to it, I really did, so I compromised financially and got a small one for under $400 🙂 We’ll be doing an aniversary ring eventually, so that’s a good way around finances, if that’s an option.
BUT, I think a proposal or marriage agreement discussion IS necessary! You have to accept/agree! Tell him you want to be asked.
Post # 8
You don’t have to have a ring to be engaged. But I would think a proposal is needed? Or just agreeing to getting married to one another. Which doesn’t seem like you two talked about?
Post # 9
Oh my. MY thought is that the ring is not required but that special moment sure is. I think I would have stopped him the first time he said it. My FI slipped when we had been dating for three months and called me his wife and I gave him a hard time for it . But, another 10 months and I was agreeing to be his wife. I would want that special moment. As for the ring, everyone can afford a ring. It might not be the dream ring but you can get a diamond engagement ring from Walmart for 70 dollars.
If you want the one knee and ring let him know.
Post # 10
My fiance didn’t actually propose to me. He asked me to move in with him after 7 months of dating (I was at his house all the time but spending $700 plus utilities a month for my apt). I told him I’d only move in if there was a promise of marriage. We talked about it here and there until one day I said “Do you want to set a wedding date” and we did and here I am. We looked at engagement rings but I’m to picky and didn’t find anything I liked so I said “Since this is my second marriage and I already had one I think I would rather have a beautiful wedding band”. I chose a beautiful diamond and pink sapphire white gold band and couldn’t be happier. Just so I’d have at least something on my left hand I went to Walmart and got a beautiful fashion ring and people never even questioned if it was real…. unless they saw it at Wally World…lol!!!!
Post # 11
@kimberleedawn: Thats so funny that your fiance slipped and called you his wife… mine would do the same too. I thought it was so cute thinking to myself (wow this guy has marriage on the mind). I loved it!!!
Post # 12
Tell him to get you a CZ, drop on one knee and ask you. I’d be pissed if DH had just assumed that I would say yes. I think I should be apart of the major decisions of my life!
Post # 13
I don’t believe you need a ring. A lot of countries don’t do engagement rings, but I think there should at least be a proposal. It doesn’t have to be super romantic, but I think it should be mutually discussed and agreed. My FI didn’t propose with a ring but we got one later on because he wanted me to pick it out. Be patient and in the mean time, you can look online for sparkly things so you have an idea of what you like. 🙂
Post # 14
Not important as long as you both agree to be engaged and as long as you are actively planning a wedding and setting a date. Otherwise, it’s kind of a fake engagement to be honest. Engagment isn’t a step in a relationship, it’s impending marriage. I’d tell him you will wait for a ring, if he can give you a date. =)
Post # 16
I kind of feel your pain. I went 3 months without a ring, and while I didn’t mind he didn’t have one (or do the get down on one knee proposal), it was annoying that every time I told someone I was engaged, the first thing they did was look down at my hand.
That having been said… you guys are taking all the steps that matter. Don’t hold back if the lack of a ring bothers you. Try looking at CZ or moissanite or other gems that won’t break the bank.
I wore a $10 ring from Icing for a little while, not ashamed to admit it. 😉