Post # 1
This is coming from something that happened at work today, I am just curious to know how important it is to you for others to find you good looking.
Do you do things to make yourself more attractive?
How would you feel if you were considered “unattractive”?
Feel free to post any random thoughts on the subject!
Post # 3
I think attraction or attractiveness is a very personal thing. I also do believe that the media has set a certain standard for what is considered universally attractive – to me that is tall, slender, blonde… Basically everything I’m not…
I do believe everyone has a “type”… and you are definitely going to be someone’s “type”
Post # 4
In my general day-to-day life, it’s really not that important. On the weekend if I am just running to the store I’ll wear my workout shorts, some thin little bra, and a tshirt. I won’t put on make up or do my hair.
If I’m teaching I’ll throw on nicer clothes of course, and I’ll wear a little make up. Most days I will straighten my hair, but every once in a while I am too lazy and just wear it up. It doesn’t stress me to not be all dolled up.
I’m just very casual by nature. I didn’t feel good about myself all through high school, but after that I gained a lot more confidence and now I generally like the way I look whether I’m in jeans and a tshirt or a cute dress and heels.
Post # 5
It depends by who.
It’s very important to me that my FI finds me attractive.
I don’t need most people to find me beautiful, but I’d rather they didn’t find me noticeably ugly. If they did I sure hope they wouldn’t mention it. That would hurt my feelings.
Most people don’t comment on my appearance, and that’s what I really prefer. I only want to hear from FI about how hot I look (and I expect him to tell me I’m hot!). I work best with men who do not seem to notice my appearance whatsoever. (I prefer women not to seem to notice either, but it really bothers me when I feel a male colleague is seeing me as an object with an attractiveness value).
Post # 6
@dannielle89: I’m going to be totally honest here: being considered attractive is very, very important to me. Since I lost weight I learned just how much easier life is for people who others consider conventionally attractive, and I’ve noticed a definite correlation between how much effort I put into looking good and the benefits I get out of it, the way people treat me, etc.
That said, I will still cater to FH first, then me, then the rest of the world. Meaning no thanks to growing out the pixie FH and I both love even though it’s not other people’s favorite thing on women. But overall, I spend a significant amount of time and effort and thought on getting and staying attractive.
I have very real fears about getting old, or gaining weight, and due to my existing anxiety, have slipped at times into behaviors dangerously close to eating disorder territory. I am open to plastic surgery if I were to notice considerable aging and had the money for someone who could make it look decently natural.
I don’t judge others based on looks (to the degree that I can avoid it, we all do it to some extent) or think others should be like me, and I don’t think that I’m necessarily right in putting my looks as high priority as I do. It’s probably more important to me than it ought to be.
Post # 7
It’s very important to me. I work out regularly and watch what I eat. I take care of myself because it makes me feel great. My husband still tells me I’m beautiful all the time:)
Post # 8
Quite important, I voted 8.
I will be honest though, and state that I am quite overweight. However I still dress beautifully and present myself with pride and confidence.
I think I am beautiful (vain much?) but I do work at it!
If other people think I am unattractive, then that is ok.
Post # 9
It’s not important to me. I don’t want anyone in my life who only values my looks. As long as I look the way I want, whether it’s conventionally attractive or not, I’ll know that the people around me like me for me – not just how I look. Nobody’s got the time or capacity to deal with fake friends.
Post # 10
It is very important to me but I put a 9 because it isn’t the most important thing to me but if you consider intellectual attractiveness among other types, then yes it would be a 10. If it is just physical attractiveness then it is a 9 as it is quite important to me, I always try to look presentable, I love fashion, I take care of myself and at times I have given it too much importance but I’m working on that .
Post # 11
I voted 7. It’s more important than not for me but I don’t obsess over it because theres always someone out there that looks better than everyone else. I also don’t want to suffer and spend my life watching what I eat… food is yummy and I eat the yummy food. You only get one life to live and I’m living it! Soon enough we’ll all be old and not as attractive anymore anyway as our bodies change and gravity takes hold.
My husband hates when I put myself down so I learned to stop doing that, he thinks I’m beautiful so I guess that’s all that matters. I haven’t given up on myself or anything though, I still wear mascara, wear clothes that fit right and brush my hair and teeth. LOL I think I look pretty okay.
Post # 12
Used to be I’d say a 7 or 8 importance… when I was a kid/early teen. I got over that quick. Being my eyes are wonky and the one I’m not using wanders off some people can’t even look at me with out talking funny or bobbing their head around trying to get both eyes to track. Ya, I’ve heard about the glasses, eye exercises, patches, been there done that… didn’t help. Oh there’s surgery… which has a small chance of working and comes with possible complications… no thanks. Since my eyes were so turned in at birth you couldn’t see the pupils and I had surgery at 18 months to get what I got, I figure I’m doing good!
Now I’d rate it a 3-4. I’d prefer not to be considered ugly, sure, but ya know even a few people I’ve thought were ugly had people who adored them so it’s all relative. I think it’s saved me a lot of trouble weeding out the overly superficial folks from my life :). The only time it really bothers me is job interviews. Sometimes it’s obvious from the time they look at my face they are just going through the motions after that. :/
Post # 13
I think it’s important to feel happy in confident in myself. That doesn’t mean I have to conform to “the world’s” standard of beauty, but I want to like what I see in the mirror. That doesn’t mean I have to be super skinny or have my hair and makeup perfect.
For me, I feel happy when I throw on yoga clothes and a high pony. I feel athletic and adventurous – and I like that person.
At work, I know that how I dress impacts how others relate to me. Dressing in nice, professional attire helps me feel more confident as well. So, I guess I care a bit about how others view me, but mostly I care about my own comfort in my own body!
Post # 14
I voted 10 – because being attractive, to myself, my husband, friends, etc., is extremely important to me. It is as important to me as being viewed as: Kind, intelligent, laid-back and easy going, with a good sense of humor, and as having high standards. To me it’s all part of the package of who I am.
I’ve always been this way, since childhood. I’ve always cared about being beautiful, inside and out. Maybe because my mother taught me to be this way, lol. 😉 She was always in shape, gorgeous, well-dressed and attractive. She took very good care of herself and I’ve followed in her footsteps. She made it very clear to me, though, that “pretty is as pretty does,” and “beauty is only skin deep.” She taught me a person’s heart, soul and character are what really count – but that doesn’t mean the physical part of a person doesn’t count equally.
I know that the most superficially beautiful people can be the ugliest on the inside, because I’ve seen it firsthand. I’ve also seen that a seemingly physically unattractive person can be charming, loving and kind.
I don’t think it has to be a choice, though. All these things in life are imporant.
Post # 15
Attractive to people other than my FI? Eh. I mean, I don’t leave the house with messy hair, no makeup, and sweatpants…ever. No makeup, sure, but my hair has to look okay and I always wear at least jeans. That’s not for other people, though, that’s a personal thing.
Post # 16
I have no patience or desire to be exceptionally young or beautiful, but I don’t like negative change to my appearance, ie, gaining weight, sagging body parts, yellowing teeth, skin spots, wrinkles, deeper circles under my eyes. I am ok with aging, but I hope to do it somewhat gracefully. So I guess attractiveness is somewhere in the middle of importance .
I care much, much, much more about being a strong and kind person. No cliche, it means more to me.