Post # 1
I met a really nice guy, but I’m not sure if I should pursue him, because our lives/careers are so different.
I’m a big city girl, know tons about business/networking/office life. I love that kind of stuff.
He is more hands on (construction/electricity), lives a quiet life, and would never read Forbes or any news publication or keep up with the world in that way.
Ladies, do you think that’s too big of a difference? He’s great in every other way, but I’m concerned that I’m going to feel lonely, like he won’t understand or appreciate my “business world life.”
I hope I’m being dumb!
Post # 3
You’re 100% being dumb 😉
My husband and I have totally different careers – quite a similar situation. I’m an office girl, he’s in construction.
I was born and raised in Vancouver (big city girl? yes!) and he was born and raised in Calgary (which is now a big city, but wasn’t when he was a kid.)
Our careers have had no impact whatsoever on our relationship. I love that we have our own things to talk about, our own hobbies, but also have brought a lot of richness to each other’s lives by being different in those senses.
Post # 4
My FI and I have completely different careers. I work in an office. He works on helicopters. It has never put a damper on our relationship.
I look at this way. If we were EXACTLY the same, our relationship would be boring. You wouldn’t believe how much my FI has taught me. Before I started dating him, I had never ridden on a motorcycle, I had never shot a gun, I had never been to the beach, etc. I’ve learned a lot from him and hopefully he feels that I have taught him something.
Post # 5
@chicagoworkinggirl: I think you’re over-reacting! For us, it’s not overly important. I go into an office environment everyday and he owns his own bookstore. He is more scholarly and I’m…. not. My work environment consists of medical staff, gossip, happy hour meetings, etc. His is filled with discussing Tolstoy and the roots of words and cataloging 16th century books. We are very happy together. I think it’s nice being a bit different than each other personality wise and with careers. I am always learning something new from him and he always hears crazy stories about patients (anonymously, HIPPA!) from me.
Post # 6
@chicagoworkinggirl: I think you’ll never know until you try!
Post # 7
@chicagoworkinggirl: I think it makes the relationship more interesting, if you ask me. My FH is in medical school, and I am in the political realm. I am from a wealthy suburb in the north, and he is from a small country town. It may not be different in the labor vs office sense, but equally different in terms of what we’re good at/interested in. The differences really have made our relationship stronger. We have more to talk about, and it creates a balance! I would go crazy if my job and love life totally overlapped, yuck!
Post # 8
Why do you need similar careers? Isn’t the differences what makes things interesting? I’d be bored to date someone who had the same background, education, and experience as I did.
Post # 9
@chicagoworkinggirl: Yes, I believe you are being silly, but only because I had the same reserverations with a guy I met, and he is now my FI (thank GOD I did not throw in the towel :)).
I quickly learned in our relationship that although I have a very different career/education than he (me, being a business professional, and him being blue collar), he is incredibly talented and smart in areas I never knew existed. He continues to ‘wow’ me with his career, actually, and what he does!! Not to mention, I learned – further down the road – that he makes a very nice living, something I never knew was ‘possible’ due to ignorance on my part!!
And, an added benefit, which I actually LOVE is I do not have to ‘worry’ about him finding love in the workplace, because he works with 99.9% men. Something I know my friends have had ‘issue’ (more of a vent, than actual issue!) with when their men work late, take business trips, etc.
OH, and if it does work out, nothing is SEXIER than a man coming home from a day at the job – a little or a lot dirty, with their work boots on, etc. It is so ‘manly’, in my opinion, lol!
Post # 10
- Wedding: September 2013 - B&B
My husband and I have totally different careers!
I will say this: it almost sounds as though you might be concerned not as much about the careers you have, but the lifestyle you both wish to persue. (and how certain careers seem to come with certain lifestyles.) While my husband and I have quite different careers, we BOTH wish to live on land a bit more in the countryside, we are both outdoorsy people (me on the weekends anyway!) and we have the same goals for savings, lifestyle, what kind of house, how we might want to raise future kids, etc.
My husband and I have somewhat similar degree backgrounds, his is in Forest Management and mine was in Landscape Architecture. I mean they really are different but both dealing with the outdoors, we’re outdoorsy people in many aspects, and we both want to live on land out in the country. I actually find myself, however, in a non-profit job working with people all day for distinguished events. My job is a lot of relationship building, volunteer managment, and a bit of event planning thrown in there too!
Our differences in our jobs does keep things interesting, we both have things to talk about, and we both learn so much from each other this way. But again, although our jobs are quite different, we very much want the same kind of lifestyle. We would have had problems LONG ago if I wanted to live in the big city and he wanted to live in a log cabin on a mountain!
Post # 11
We have way different careers. I’m an investigator for the fed govt and my DH works in pharmaceuticals. Originally I was going to go to med school and he was going to be a graphic designer. Our careers being similar really makes no difference to me, as long as one of us doesn’t have to travel a lot or anything.
Post # 12
- Wedding: September 2013 - B&B
I suppose also you should think about if you perceive him to be too different to understand certain things about you too, because of his background.
For instance, you mentioned networking. If you think this guy is more of a homebody and just wouldn’t be interested in talking about your work events or networking meetings, and even worse, wouldn’t be supportive of you going to them, then that also could create some problems. Same as if you are just NOT interested in motorcycles/cars/hunting, anything like that, and he would get upset that you weren’t. As long as you both would be supportive and understanding of the differences, it could be magic!
Post # 13
@chicagoworkinggirl: I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but this a completely stupid way to weed out potential suitors…if you like him and think it could go somewhere…why the hell should him reading Forbes matter?
I married a country boy…and all I’m going to say is those white collar career men ain’t got nothing on a man that is good with his hands….
Post # 14
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@chicagoworkinggirl: I’m an attorney for a government agency and my husband is a work from home writer. I thrive in an office environment which he finds horrific. And I wouldn’t be caught dead working from home without regular stimulation and interaction with co-workers. I like that our schedules work together since he sets his own hours and tries to work them around my work hours so we can spend time together.
I have a graduate degree but before my husband I used to date guys who only had high school diplomas. I was book-smart but these guys were world/life smart from working what they always called the “real world” since they were both small business owners. While they were not stupid, they weren’t as educated as I am and they didn’t read as much as I do so they weren’t informed. As such, I was constantly bored with our conversations because they couldn’t discuss abstract topics. My husband also has a graduate degree plus he keeps informed about the world so our conversations are much more elaborate discussions and debates about different topics.
The biggest problem I see is that you enjoy going out and networking while he enjoys being quiet at home. I see lots of couples where they work around it for a few years but end up separating because the quiet partner expects the other to settle down and the social partner expects the other to get out more. If things are just starting out a date or two to test things out wouldn’t be a bad idea. Better to try someone out than to completely write them off from the get-go.
Post # 15
@chicagoworkinggirl: I like having similar careers as we are both very analytical, scientific in many aspects of life. We get called sheldon and amy all the time because we do have that specific scientific way of thinking and makes communication easier where others have just given me blank looks. I wouldnt rule someone out just because of a career its more about the connection and communication, yes we found these but I think our personalities are why we are in our fields. If you have a connection you should persue it rather than writing it off for something so small.
Post # 16
We have WAY different careers. I work at an opera company, and he is a software architect for an investment bank. He has an MBA in finance and is so smart about numbers and financial stuff – I literally do not understand what he does at work no matter how much he tries to explain it to me (and I’m a smart cookie!).