Post # 1
Is it important enough that you would be upset if, say, your new husband of one year decided to go on a med school trip to south america during your 1 year anniversary becuase “he could get a publication out of it?” Would you be fine with it since it was something that could help him get farther in the future, or would you be kinda hurt, especially since he was a little defensive when you were upset about the timing–especially since there are other trips during the summer that he could have chosen? Or would you just let it go, because there will be other years. Even if they aren’t your first year. And you can always just celebrate a couple weeks after the fact.
Post # 3
@MrsDrRose612: I would be hurt by his attitude about it. If your first year wedding anniversary is important to YOU that should be enough for him.
Post # 4
I cared about our anniversary but I had school commitments around the actual date so we celebrated a week early. It was still plenty special.
Post # 5
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
I would be bummed out a little, but I’d get over it. My friend’s husband actively sought out a deployment that resulted in him being in a war zone for the majority of their first year of marriage. Why? Because it furthered his career, enabling him to get a key promotion and improve their long-term options. He missed both of their birthdays, their first Thanksgiving, first Christmas, first V-Day, first anniversary, etc., etc., etc. Seeing the sacrifices they made in order to improve his career chances and their future options really put things into perspective for me.
Post # 6
I wouldn’t care. It’s just a day. His education/career are much more important to me than a day on the calendar.
DH was at a friends bachelor party on our first anniversary. He was away all weekend and got home early that evening. We celebrated a few days later. No big deal.
Post # 7
Since my husband pretty much dropped the ball on our first anniversary, I WISH he’d had as good of an excuse as that. It was not SO important to me that I needed some big show out of him, but it would have been nice if he’d spent the entire evening with me, rather than going to dinner (that I planned) and then working the rest of the night.
Post # 8
If you’re upset about it, i’d say you don’t understand how important publications are.
It would be no big deal to me. I’d probably be trying to go on the trip, too, because I love having so many adventures! We’re big into adventure travel.
Post # 9
There were other trips he could have chosen, so yes, I’d be upset. It’s not about the date. It’s about the celebration. One year together is a milestone. My husband was so psyched about our anniversary. We were going to go to the place he proposed, but I ended up in a cast, so we stayed in instead. It was still wonderful. It’s about the two of you celebrating. If he was still up for that, that’s one thing, but if he blew it off and put himself above the both of you like it didn’t matter, it’s not ok.
Post # 10
It’s just a day.
I would be 100% okay with DH being away for our anniversary. Especially if he was working on something that would benefit us in the future.
DH and I never tend to celebrate on the actual day anyway (whether it be anniversary, birthday, Valentine’s day, etc). We celebrate when it’s convenient for us; so if those fall during the week, we celebrate on a weekend. We never go out on Valentine’s day because it’s so busy, we go out another time. Etc.
Post # 11
Publications are a huge deal career-wise, so I can understand why he wants to go. Is there something special about the trip that falls on your anniversary? (a location he prefers, more likely to get a publication out of it?) If there is nothing at all to be said for this trip over the others, I can see why you might be a bit upset. But, if there is anything to be said for this over the other trips, I can totally understand him wanting to be away on your anniversary. There will be lots of them, and you can always celebrate when he gets home.
I should also mention, we don’t make a big thing of our anniversary.
Post # 12
I cared, but due to unpredictable/unusual work schedules we’re used to celebrating “whenever”. We actually celebrated our anniversary a month early this year AND last year, just because it was more convenient.
Post # 13
Yeah, I would be disappointed, but you can celebrate another day and it will still be special! The point is honoring the time you spend together, not just the actual DAY!
Post # 14
This wouldn’t be a big thing for me. We could always celebrate on another day! Just do something twice as nice for your 2 year. 🙂
Post # 15
Funny, because I read this this morning, and thought “I don’t think I’d be too worried about it,” and though our anniversary is on Monday, both DH and I forgot when he was scheduling a work trip, and now he’ll be out of town on our anniversary! I’d say I’m mildly bummed, since it’s our first, but we are planning to move it to the next day, no problem. I don’t think it’s worth getting upset over.
Post # 16
It happened to us. It was a bummer, but we just celebrated a couple of days before our anniversary and aren’t any worse off for it. 🙂
If he is in the medical field, there will probably be more anniversaries and other celebrations that you won’t get to spend together. It can really suck sometimes, but I’m sure you’ll find a way to still make it special. 🙂