(Closed) How "into" the TTC process is your SO?

posted 5 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
Member
2263 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

First off, how wonderful to be married to a guy who handles things calmly and in a quieter way than you do. πŸ™‚ Honestly, that can be a plus… especially with the high emotions and dissapointments the TTC process can bring. I’m the logical, calmer one in our relationship and DH is a big gushy teddy bear! Out of the two of us I’m usually the one who analyzes and overthinks everything before I get excited. Since getting off the pill and with high hormone levels.. I’ve totally gone the other way and been emotional the entire time.

I’m not sure many guys are as excited as their wives about the whole TTC process. Although my husband is I’m aware it’s not on his mind as much as mine but that will probably change when I get a BFP. From what I hear from my friends with kids, fatherhood can really change a guy. Although my life may be all about the baby for the entire pregnancy, I feel DH won’t really understand being a father until he holds our baby in his arms for the first time since he hasn’t really been around babies his entire life. That being said, I’m so glad I’m the one who gets to carry and know this precious life on a much closer level. πŸ™‚

Post # 4
Member
2907 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

We’re not TTC now, but my fiance has said that when we are, he doesn’t want to know when I’m ovulating because the idea of results-oriented sex takes the fun out of it and would make him feel like a stud horse or something. I don’t know how well that’s going to work in practice, since I already know I’m a super type-A planner and I’m sure I’ll be charting to death and it’ll be hard to restrain myself from being like “INSEMINATE ME NOW, YOU FOOL!” but… I do see his point! Anyway, who knows how it’ll be when we’re actually TTC, but I do think that guys are generally less involved with the more detail-oriented planning of the TTC. Sort of like how he doesn’t care what color the bridesmaids wear or what the tablecloths look like, he just wants to marry me… I think my FI will be more into having a baby than, you know, getting a baby. 

Post # 5
Member
617 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

My husband is super into the whole thing.  It’s very sweet, and he gets just as excited as I do when a smiley face shows up on my OPK, but sometimes his excitement makes me feel a little more pressure when I don’t end up pregnant each month.  This is really only the third cycle for us though (although NTNT since June), so his excitement still way outweighs the little bit of extra, unintentional, pressure.

 

Post # 6
Member
2545 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

When we first opened the gates, we didn’t want to turn it into a business. He was less sure than me that we were ready. He probably would have been happy waiting a few months. When we talked about it, we both wanted to be natural with the only difference being that we wouldn’t protect ourselves. I though know my schedule very well so I just keep that my own little secret. πŸ˜‰

After my miscarriage last week, he said that by us finally being pregnant and then losing it,he didn’t want to wait anymore and now he really wants to go for it.

But, we still don’t want to take the romance out of it. We’re just going to be intimate and see what happens. I don’t need to tell him when I’m ovulating – won’t really be a turn on. Too much pressure.

I heard once that a woman becomes a mother as soon as she finds out she is pregnant, and a man becomes a father as soon as he holds his newborn baby. 

 

Post # 7
Member
607 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@KatieBklyn:  it’ll be hard to restrain myself from being like “INSEMINATE ME NOW, YOU FOOL!”


Yeah, I may have told DH that I wasn’t wasting any semen on BJ this week! 

To OP, he’s definitely less into it than me– as in, he really does want me to get pregnant, but he doesn’t want to be too involved in the details like temping, etc. He supports me when I do it, but if I didn’t, he would be happy with just not using a condoms and seeing what happens. He doesn’t know what I’m supposed to eat or drink or whatever, and he knows I’d read a lot about it, so he just assumes I know what I’m doing. But, I’m not as sly as I thought, since I’ve initiated more this week (O any day now) than I have in the last year so… He was jokingly complaining about me jumping him all week. Rough life, right?

Also we just started TTC so I could see him being a little more concerned about it down the road. 

Post # 8
Member
2263 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Sunshine09:  I really like what you said at the end. That’s how I feel exactly. Although DH may be excited, it will be so sweet to actually see him ‘get it’ when he holds our baby. I can’t wait!

Post # 9
Member
1466 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Father's Vineyard Church/ A Touch of Class Banquet Center

Mr. D is one of those men are are down with BDing it when I say it’s go time, but everything else, he wants to feign ignorance. I think he is afraid that by knowing my cycle and my charts that it takes the fun out of making a baby. Which is cool with me, I understand where he is coming from!

Post # 11
Member
5109 posts
Bee Keeper

@Sea_bass:  My husband is actually surprisingly interested in the Bee, ahaha. I mean, not really, but he always asks who got BFP’s lately and stuff. It’s hilarious.

He knows I chart, he knows I pee on a shit ton of sticks, and he knows a high temp is a good thing. Hahah. His knowledge is very little, but it’s not like he’s anti. I try not to let him know when I think I’m ovulating, because he has performance issue when that happens.

Post # 13
Member
2580 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

We are not TTC yet but we were talking about it and DH seemed shocked that there was even a process to it. He was pretty sure I would just stop taking BC and it would happen all on its own (just by NTNT). It does sometimes, obviously, but I don’t think he even realized there could be more elements/intervention to it.

I think if it became an issue and we were having trouble getting pregnant, he would be interested in the process, but otherwise I imagine he’d rather be in the dark about it. Like some PPs said, I don’t think he’d want to take the fun out of it. It seems like he would rather I do my thing and figure out what needs to be done but not make it a group process. I think it feels a little clinical to him.

Post # 14
Member
619 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@Sea_bass:  It sounds like your DH is a lot like mine.  My DH is not a big planner and even though he is totally on board for baby-making, he’s not at all concerned with the details.  I expected him not to really be interested in the process (other than BD, of course) but I was very anxious during our first cycle TTC so I ended up talking his ear off about every little detail.  It took him a while to understand why I was so stressed out, but I think he gets it now and he was very reassurring after AF came.  Your DH may surprise you if you open up about how you’re feeling.

@KatieBklyn:   “INSEMINATE ME NOW, YOU FOOL!”  I’m already looking for an excuse to use that line, that’s hilarious!

Post # 15
Member
822 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

@ChuckNorris:  Thats sweet!

@Mrs. Doily:  My DH sounds like yours!

@Sea_bass:  DH really really wants a baby and is very supportive but doesn’t want to know all the in’s and out’s of my cycle.  

He did read the guys section in the book Zita West’s guide to getting pregnant and knows I am taking my temp and using OPK’s but he wouldn’t have a clue about what any of it means!

I think he is glad I have this site to tell others all the details! πŸ™‚

Post # 16
Member
1391 posts
Bumble bee

We’re not TTC yet but he’s as baby crazy as I am. He often jokes that the second he’s done with school, ‘we’re getting that thing out of you.’ Meaning my IUD.
I’ve been reading a lot of books and educating myself on charting and the process and everything because I like to be prepaired. DH would likely just follow the ‘let’s have sex every day’ approach and that’s fine too, especially in the beginning. I do read some of the stuff to him but I stop short of showing him pictures of cervical fluid. Some feminine mystique should remain, well, a mystery. πŸ˜‰ I did read him one passage about men who have a hard time adjusting to sex when it’s actively for procreation because this fun (dirty) thing is suddenly not just for fun and is now associated with babies and pregnancy and fatherhood. He looked at me and said, “Well, YEAH! Of course that’s what its for!” Apparently he thinks about that side of fun time more often than I thought!

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