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They chime in when I ask for advice. I haven't had to ask for help yet, but I know my local girls will be there when I need them.
I don't like the idea of just showing up at the wedding. Some of mine are more involved than others. Everyone has helped in some way or another. Alot of the wedding is going ot be done by me and I will need hands on help later on. I like planning by myself, I just want them to listen for now, lol
I had 4 BM's. All of them were good at responding to me and helping out. Two of them my MOH and my other really good friend took charge when I really needed them and were a HUGE help. I guess it might just depend on their personality and how close you are with them.
I couldn't really answer the question with the options. I think my BM's would be more involved in the wedding planning process if I asked them to be. But I don't bother, not because they aren't capable of helping, but because everyone's so busy. I just appreciate them helping with my shower. That's more than enough to me.
I couldn't really answer the question with the options. I think my BM's would be more involved in the wedding planning process if I asked them to be. But I don't bother, not because they aren't capable of helping, but because everyone's so busy. I just appreciate them helping with my shower. That's more than enough to me.
My MOH and BM are really young, so I don't ask much from them at all. They will help with some last minute things (ex. setting up decorations at the reception venue) but that's about it.
I'm not having any bridesmaids... only my little sister as a maid of honor. It's definitely helping out budget-wise, and boy is she excided! I get dress emails on a daily basis!
i'd say as of right now, not really involved at all. (which, to be is honest is ok at this point) Maybe picking out dresses, showers, and closer to the wedding i'll expect more involvement , but most of the planning will get done by me and my mom. My sis is the MOH so shes prob the most involved and like i said thats A-OK by me.
(yeah, i'm the i like to do everything myself kinda gal ) 
None of them are very responsive which is kind of a bummer.
I had to order a bunch of one thing for my wedding favors but the vendor would only let me order 5 sets at a time and I couldn't order another 5 sets for 6 months. I needed 25 sets total so I sent out an email to my BM's and my family to try to get the stuff ordered.
Not one BM replied. I ended up getting my mom and coworkers to order. I was so disappointed after that since it kind of showed me that my BMs are going to be the "show up and walk down the aisle" kind of BMs. :(
I couldn't really answer the question with the options. I think my BM's would be more involved in the wedding planning process if I asked them to be. But I don't bother, not because they aren't capable of helping, but because everyone's so busy. I just appreciate them helping with my shower. That's more than enough to me.
It's about half and half for me. 3 of my bridesmaids don't really do anything, but are reliable when I message them about their dresses, etc. which we are ordering later this month.
My sis is my MOH, and she is awesome. 2 other girls are great too, texting me asking if I need help, etc. It's a little early to need much help, but I know I can count on them.
This is my jealous face. My sis is my MOH too but she's 1) across the country 2) working full time 3) raising 4 kids 4) taking classes.
Pity party, table for 1 please.
Ah Bridesmaids..
*pulls hair out*
I have 3 BM's. All are out of town as well. ..
They're all out of town (college/ live outta town) and are not doing squat!!!
For those of you who have involved BMs...what kinds of things are they helping with?
They're not really... 3/4 are in pretty intense school (1 PA, 1 enviromental engineering, 1 psychology phd) and the other is a special ed teacher. 3/4 are also 400 miles away. So... yeah.
I just have a MOH and she isn't really...which is fine! She is a huge help with the bachelorette party...that's her baby and has done anything I ask...but shes in school and like 2 hours away plus I, like @krissy, like to do it myself then it is done RIGHT haha
Mine are not very involved at all in the planning but my MOH has been there to listen to my vents about wedding planning, but not so much the planning part. The BMs... nope. not at all. I think it's partially because they are all far away, too, but I think it'd be nice if they show some interest in what I have been doing, too. lol Oh well, I've come to term with it a while ago so I am not going to be upset over it.
The only BM who does anything is my MOH shes amazing! My other BMs are kind of not there at all I have my 3 cousins but they live in NJ and I have two other BMs who are friend who live in FL and always make up an exuse to not help or just totally exlude me from activities soo I'm thinking of only having my family due to this situation.
its still pretty early in our planning process but im not expecting much as far as planning from my 7 bms. my sister is my MOH. shes also a nurse in the army and right after i got engaged, she got transferred from home (florida) to oklahoma for a year. my other bms arein different states (one is busy in med school) and two are even out of the country!
its not so much of an issue for me because i at least have my mom to help me out. plus i knew what i was getting myself into considering everyone's situation. emailing, facebook, and my wedding website helps me get almost immediate input from the girls when i need advice/opinions and that system is working nicely for us.
i probably wont have the traditional bm-hosted parties and all but whats most important to me is that theyre there on my special day! =)
My MOH is really involved, as is her wife. The three of us have visited my location, they helped me pick a baker and florist, and they are all around super helpful. My two BMs live on the other side of the country. One doesn't have a job, and the other is getting married in May, so their relative lack of involvement doesn't bug me in the least. I'm just thrilled they are putting together the money to fly out.
Mine are planning the bachelorette party but that's about it! One has been semi-helpful with crafting but other than that, no one's really done much...I am a bit disappointed that only one will be able to attend my shower but oh well, what can ya do?
I'm sure they would help if they were here, but they're all far away, and I'm not really sure what they'd do. That being said, they're all flying in, paying for hotels, and bought their dresses, so I am BEYOND thrilled with what they're doing for me. I couldn't ask for anything more. I am flying to them for my shower and my bachelorette, but they're planning both (mostly my MOH, really) and I am super grateful. I don't feel as though they need to help with anything since they're doing me the enormous honor of uprooting their lives for a few days, spending a chunk of change, and being here for me when I asked them to be. Love them!
I didn't answer the survey, because it didn't have the right option for me.
My BMs haven't really been involved, but that's because I haven't asked anything of them. For me, I want my BMs to stand with me on the day of my wedding, but I'm not asking anything else of them. I want them to share in my joy -- not in my work!
I indicated up front that I just wanted them to be with me on the big day -- they don't have to attend my shower and they certainly don't have to buy me a wedding gift -- their presence is more than enough.
They're all amazing women though and I'm sure they'd be more than willing to help out if I asked.
My MOH is planning my shower and bachelorette (I did this for her last year) and I'm sure she's going to do a wonderful job!
I had originally wanted a wedding planner, but my mother refused to help pay for it, insisting that she would rather work less and do it herself. Not being a fool, I agreed. So my mom has been doing a lot of MOH stuff. MOH has let me know that she is ready to take on whatever I need her to do - she was in a BUNCH of other weddings last year so I told her she was off the hook until now.
Of the 4 BMs - FSIL is in Cali so I don't expect her to really do anything but perhaps offer general advice - she is 10 yrs older and was a more nontraditional bride, so our experiences differ. One BM lives near my parents and has been REALLY helpful, coming to my parents' house to help address S-T-D's, giving my mom rides to come meet me in the city, etc. Of the other 2 - one is not at ALL into traditional weddings, but she is super-supportive of me as an emotional time bomb. The 4th is totally self-centered and self-absorbed, and if she hadn't been friends with FH for 10 years, and a colleague of mine, I might not have asked her.
My bridesmaids, hmm, they don't really help much. Its funny that the one who is farthest, like 2k miles away, is helping the most, i talk to her the most, and the people who are less than 20 miles away couldn't care less.
I just want them to say hi to me occasionally, is that too much to ask for?
Two of mine are out of state, so they haven't done too much. Another is an old friend who works multiple jobs so I haven't asked too much of her, but the last has been a lot of help for advice. She got married about two years ago and we work together now, so we talk almost every day about wedding details.
My only BM was my sister who also was my MOH. She barely helped me out with anything but I think it had a lot to do with what was going on in her life. She was happily going through a divorce during my planning. When I wish she was around to help, she always made excuses saying "You never asked". Mind you all the DIY projects were done at my parents where she would go every day.
My Mom did help my out tremendously. She was really my MOH for so many reasons.
It's comforting, yet shocking to learn that I am not alone in having slacker BMs. Why is it that someone you consider a close enough friend to be IN the wedding would not be more excited for you on one of the biggest days of your life? I have had zero luck in getting my BMs to respond to anything, even the emails that let them know their dresses are on their way to their houses. I emailed a couple BMs who are in the area to come to my house to pick up their dresses and no one has responded in a week now. They never ask me anything about the wedding, never seem interested when I talk about it (which is rarely since I don't want to be the type of bride who can only talk about her wedding and nothing else)... It's confusing and very hurtful. I really don't understand how people can be like that. :(
I have 2 MOH's and 3 BM's and all of them except 1 BM have been totally helpful and involved in the planning. I mean, I don't ask them to help me with things like picking out decor, invitations, etc. but they planned the bach party and the shower. My one BM is the opposite of involved, she doesn't respond to any communication whatsoever and almost missed my Bach party this past weekend.
I must admit that if all they did was show up to the wedding I would be a little bit sad. I would probably end up planning my own Bach party and stress out about the shower, maybe ask my Mom to throw it. I think I'm pretty lucky that they are so helpful and involved.
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Hello Bees,
I know that all my BMs are busy with their lives too.. but I can't deny the fact that I've been kind of disappointed in some of them for their lack of involvement.. But at the same time, I don't know how involved are the bridesmaids supposed to be in the planning.. Is it normal for them to never even ask about the planning and just show up at the wedding?