Post # 1
I’ve been wondering this for a while because I have a total of four bridesmaids and only one of them seems to be very much involved. My brothers girlfriend is standing up in my wedding and she has pretty much done nothing to help. She’s even whined about pretty much everything (As I’m sure most 18 yr olds do when they’ve never been in a wedding before). Another one keeps promising me that she wants to really help because she loves weddings but has not been available almost every time I ask. The third one is my FI’s sister who barely ever texts or calls me and when she does see me it’s sometimes weird. Sometimes I just wish I would’ve only asked one girl to stand up in my wedding because she’s the only one usually being supportive.
How about you ladies? Are all of your bridesmaids super involved? I know not all situtations are ideal but am I crazy for wanting to be like hey, step up or your out…?
Post # 3
Neither one of my girls really did much until the day of… but boy was I happy to have them there helping on the big day! It got on my nerves while it was going on, but I finally just admitted to myself that they are busy ladies who have a lot on their plates!
Post # 4
@SweetRose2011:mine are doing nothing at all. I’m not dissing them here- they are all great! I think the blame actually falls on me because i have nO experience with weddings and therefore do not know what the “job” of a bridesmaid is other than to help the bride on her big day. Frankly im flattered that these girls are willing to do that much and buy a dress they may (secretly) dislike. I actually would like some help..but yeah..dont know what im doing lol
Post # 5
My ladies are very supportive, but they can’t do much because they don’t live near me. How much notice are you giving the one that wants to help but is always unavailable? Your wedding isn’t until next November, so I am sure your girls will get more involved, once your date gets closer.
Post # 6
@pvaultingirl: That is also how I feel. I don’t know what I’m doing so I can’t get completely mad at them for not doing anything, but I feel as though sometimes a little more eagerness or participation would really help me out.
Post # 7
I have six bridesmaids, and the only one that’s really involved at this point is my older, married sister. She’s not the MOH, but she loves weddings and will chat with me about mine, impart nuggets of wisdom, etc. The other five bridesmaids are away at college/grad school, as well as working. They just don’t have the time. *shrugs* I’m totally fine with it. Apparently a wedding shower/bachelorette party are in the works, and they’re willing to pay for their outfits, so I don’t have anything to complain about.
Post # 8
So far, none of my BM are really helpful. I have a bunch of ‘if you need anything, let me know!’, but then of course everytime I suggest something, they’re always busy.
That being said, I didn’t expect much from them. To me, a BM duty is simply to show up and support with love. I am sure my BM will provide the traditional bridal shower/bachelorette, and if I specifically ask one for something, they’ll assist, but that’s not on my agenda yet.
Post # 9
two of mine are super involved, and the other 4 aren’t that involved–they do exactly what i need them to do (buy dress & shoes) and might help a little with the bachelorette party (one of the super invovled girls has taken charge though). however, i consider everything other than buying the dress and showing up optional.
your wedding is still over a year away..it might just be hard for them to get “into” planning so far in advance.
Post # 10
My girls have all been great. Although to be honest I don’t really expect them to be calling me every week to check in on wedding plans or anything like that so it might be a function of expectations.
My MOH has been amazing. She’s not local but we talk every day anyways and she is also planning a wedding so we do wedding talk daily and that is super fun. She has also taken charge to plan my wedding shower with my mom and she’s organizing the girls to do a bachelorette. Basically perfect 🙂
My local BM and I don’t see each other that often but when I talk to her about wedding stuff she listens and is supportive. She helped me with one of my DIY projects and went BM dress shopping with me. She plans to attend both my shower and bachelorette party.
My non-local BM and I hardly ever see each other and we don’t really talk that much either (she’s the kind of friend you can go months without talking to and pick right back up when you see each other again). Every few months she checks in on wedding stuff and she came here to shop for BM dresses. She has also offered to come in a few days early before the wedding to help me with making favors. And she’ll come to both the shower and the bachelorette.
So basically I feel very lucky that all my girls rock. 🙂
Post # 11
I guess I’m not sure how involved they are supposed to be. And I’m not freakish about this whole wedding planning or anything so I can understand if they don’t want to get totally involved right now as it is so far away, but it’s frustrating as I am doing most of the planning now. But I’m used to it I think and now I know when to ask them for help.
Post # 12
My MOH and one BM were super involved. They picked out their dresses and mine with me, basically planned the shower and bachelorette, took me to the beach for a weekend, bought me lingerie, got Team Bride shirts for everyone. My MOH went with me to try on my dress, for my hair and makeup trial, to my bridal shoot, etc. One BM came to the shower and the bachelorette. One BM only made it to the rehearsal dinner and wedding and didn’t help the other BMs at all with anything, and wouldn’t even communicate with them at all. It was really telling of who my closest friends were. Especially since the one BM who was so involved lived halfway across the country, was super busy, and strapped for cash, yet managed to do so much and it meant so much to me.
Post # 13
By some, I mean one!!! Very frustrating, but hopefully they will pull through when the big day comes!!!!
Post # 14
My girls can’t/haven’t done a lot. That isn’t really through fault of their own. One is 3 hours away and the other two are still in college. Plus, I wouldn’t even know what to tell them to do to help. Therefore, I’m kind of doing it alone. Thank goodness for Moms!!
Post # 15
Mine aren’t very involved but that’s because I haven’t asked them to be. I haven’t really needed much help.
Post # 16
Mine didn’t do much. All were in college or HS (our 2 sisters), and were busy. I had 2 MOHs, one was really busy and the other was studying in France the semester before I got married. They helped when they could, and that was fine with me