How Involved Is/Was Your FI/DH in planning the wedding?

posted 3 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
Member
12998 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

He was in the camp of just tell me when, where, and what to wear.

Post # 4
Member
3280 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

His only opinions were that we must have a full open bar, awesome food and music, and all our friends there. He could care less about everything else, I’m just happy he showed up for engagement pics lol He has sort of agreed to spend one weekend with me doing wedding stuff before the wedding, but I highly doubt that happens. Thankfully I want to do this all myself so I know it’s done right! 

Post # 5
Member
1103 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

So far he’s been very involved. We visited the venue, photographer and did tastings together. He gives input on colors and other elements too. So I’d say it’s like 60-40 on everything which is really nice!

Post # 6
Member
2962 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

When wedding planning, DH just wanted to show up. I didn’t want the big wedding because I’m not much of a planner. I tried to include him but he gave me excuses such as he doesnt know anything about planning a wedding. I’m like, you dont need to know how to plan a wedding to make a decision! So I made alot of bad decisions and it was very much a waste of money because I didn’t have a second opinion from ANYONE! Looking back now he said he wish he would have helped more because he wasn’t as happy with the wedding as I was.

Show him the tasks of planning a wedding and ask him what tasks he would be interested in taking over (music, cake, transportation, picking out the hotel, etc).

Post # 7
Member
871 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@MissPine:  He doesn’t care and had no say in flowers and linen colors but he really cared about the food, the location, and the chairs…he hates chair covers haha I am sure he will have very strong opinions about the cake when we do our tasting in December too! He also didn’t care too much about the invites but I showed him what I was thinking before buying anything (where as the flowers I didn’t even consult him haha) and he is helping me make them since they are DIY. Also his attire. So some stuff he could care less about and other stuff he has strong opinions about. 

Post # 8
Member
1167 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@MissPine:  I consult him over almost everything just because I like to talk about it, but I make all the decisions haha! At the end of the day he knows how much I care about some of this stuff, and he only has mild opinions, if any at all haha.

The two things we disagreed on so far were a photographer and location. I won out on both because at the end of the day it was about money more than anythng, and my dad is forking out for everything. He would be very upset if he found out I had compromised on the most important things to save him a few bucks, he has been very insistent on making sure its the day we really want, but we’re still at an $8.5k budget 😀 Woo!

Post # 10
Member
686 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

we did the main things together – choosing the venue, cake tasting, meeting photographers etc but all the decisions were left up to me.

Post # 11
Member
6503 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

I chose pretty much everything. He chose the cake flavor and the rehearsal dinner restaurant but beyond that he didn’t have much of an opinion. He helped me out with some of the DIY projects but not as often as I would have liked.

Post # 12
Member
215 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@MissPine:  FI is super involved. He wants to be a part of everything. If we are split on something, usually he will let me make the final decision, but we haven’t disagreed on too many things. 

Post # 13
Member
2962 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@MissPine:  Yes some guys aren’t going to be into wedding planning as much as we are. DH thought it was ONLY a woman’s job to do. I had to plan a wedding ALL by myself. My BMs were OOT so they couldn’t come with me to seek vendors. None of my fam has ever planned a wedding or been IN a wedding so they were pretty much clueless. On top of all this I was working with a low budget. It was the worst time in my life!

Of course there are going to be some things you two HAVE to do together (tastings, picking out venues and other vendors) but that list was more for him to do on his own so that can trim down your list of to-dos. Sorry I wasn’t very clear on that!

Post # 14
Member
3736 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I just read this thread title out loud. FH just shook his head at me. That’s about how involved he is.

Post # 15
Member
7281 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

Mr. LK actually had a lot of opinions. Before I would start researching heavily, I would ask Mr. LK if he wanted to give input on the topic at hand. If he said no, then I would run the whole show and tell him what was decided in the end. If he said yes, then I would do the research, present him with my 3 favorite options, and he could choose from them. If he did not like any of the options I presented, it was his responsibility to do more research and come back to me with 3 options. And there were some things that he really cared about (e.g. the playlist) that I didn’t care about much at all, so he handled those things on his own.

Post # 16
Member
4072 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

He was in between. I wanted a tiny intimate wedding, but he wanted something bigger, so we went with that.

After that initial big idea decision, I’ve consulted him on just about everything except for colors and flowers. That doesn’t mean he’s been super involved though. I found the venue, told him what I liked about it, and he gave his nod of approval. That’s how most of it has gone.

He did do the menu and cake tastings, and he was fully involved in that. He’s also more involved in music decisions. He’s the one who picked his tux. Deciding the timeline of the reception is pretty 50/50. 

So for some things he’s involved, for other things he hardly is. I’m fine with that. I refuse to be a bride who does everything on her own. I want his input.

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