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I'm not planning a wedding anymore but that doesn't mean I don't have stress. We are tight on money and I'm trying to find a job. Because of those things, I barely go out of the house. Stress is driving me crazy and actually hurting my relationship a bit.
Oh gosh, that's a lot to deal with. I think you deserve to snap a time or two... or more! I'm sorry you're handling so much, you'll undoubtedly be stronger in the end.
I'd been handling my stress pretty well until this past weekend. I realized that all the things I'd be 'letting go', were still very much present in my mind. I lost it. I freaked out on my FI for not helping enough and then I let loose all the fury I'd been feeling about my selfish BM's and my Mother who has been very helpful until lately when she'd rather go to my brothers baseball practice than my dress fitting, etc. I felt better getting it out, temporarily. Now I get nervous easily, my eye twitches... its not pretty!
I have other stressors too, unrelated to the wedding. I think they're pretty characteristic of the times though, so I TRY to keep that stress at bay. Lack of money, lack of job alternatives (I hate my job but I'm grateful to have one), trying to fathom getting a house, we need a new car. Oh, and I will be moving to my FI's parents house, in his home town, where I know no one and he has all of his friends and family. But we need to save money... scary stuff.
Oh Ella, I'm so sorry.
The best thing we do to relieve stress is to take a night off from everything. We just stay in, make dinner together, pop in a movie we want to watch, drag all the blankets and pillows out into the living room and snuggle up together with our puppy and just be bums all day.
Whenever one of us feels particularly stress for any reason whatsoever the other always suggests that. It really helps to recharge our batteries.
MissAsB - totally understand, and it doesn't have to be wedding related at all.. actually the wedding stuff is probably the least stressful for me.
My FI REALLY stresses about money. Esp. because he is in school, and not earning - he feels almost emasculated by the fact that I am supporting us, so we don't talk about it often. At the same time, I want to make sure that his life isn't hampered - I want him to enjoy Friday night poker every week - I want him to have all the things he normally would, so in the end I sacrifice.
I LOVE shopping. I love shoes and purses & clothes, when I was single and living in an apartment, I probably spent 200 a month on shopping.. I gave ALL of that up to buy a house and be together. So that has been hard.
I am trying SO hard not to mess with our relationship, but I def. feel with all the stress that I'm not the same person that I was, and I hate it. I'm filled with hate/anger from my job situation, and that def. affects me - but there isn't a great way to deal with it. I should be happy I have a job, but it's really the source of MOST of my stress.
I was just curious to see if anyone had good ideas for chilling out a bit! I'm sorry to hear that you are stressing to, it's so unhealthy, I wish I could just let things roll of my back a bit more!
HUGS. i agree with @jennifer, you have every excuse to have a lil cathartic moment here and there and more!
i've gone through the roller coaster of handling stress... the past few months were quite easy... until the last couple of weeks, i am dealing with unexpected relationship stress, stress of starting law school in a week!, and of course, trying to get all of the bills paid and on time is a constant battle during this planning.
today after work, i'm going to workout... and try to be productive with every minute of time i have in order to feel accomplished and also getting out the last details of wedding planning out of the way before school takes up 4 nights a week after work!
good luck and things WILL get better!
Jennifer: I too have been trying to block out the world, and that does have it's implications. When all this started happening and I freaked on my mom, I was like "this is my first recession as an adult, and it's scary!" I think it's worse than the 80s personally, and I just don't know how to handle it. I'm definately getting better at clipping coupons, looking for deals and waiting till something is on sale before I buy it!
Gerbera: Thanks! I'm sure I'm not the only one, I just had a bit of a break down this morning & I feel bad. My FI has an accounting test today, and I hope I didn't stress him out. I wish I had a way to difuse it. The movie Idea is a good one & we try to do that too.
I know some people think exercise is a good stress releaser, but for me, working out is like another job.. It's actually stressful for me at the time. I might feel better about my body afterwards, but not less stressed!
Oh my gosh missjyc - law school! I can't imagine! I just can't wait for things to get back to normal!
I even tried getting a piece of cheesecake this weekend (my favorite dessert). That worked for a minute, but then i had to work it off at the gym! Ha, everything has consequences!!! hehe.
Maybe getting some exercise? Exercise is a really good stress reliever.
Hey Miss AsB. I work out 5-6 days a week. For at least an hour each time. Working out for me is like a second job... it's intense to get a good workout in a short time, plus I squeeze it into my morning routine, so I get up at 5am to get in an hour workout before I get ready for work... So it def. makes me feel better, but i don't think it relieves my stress. Maybe I need to get a punching bag and place a photo of my boss on it.. that might make me feel better! And I can rent it out to other co-workers, making a little money on the side.. hmmmmmm
I've really too, just blocked out the world. Right now my dad did not let his friend who is our dj know the wedding date was changed (Note our wedding is in 3 weeks!) Our photographer might not come to the reception. (another one of my dads friends) We have yet to pay for our venue (This is the SECOND venue we've had because my dad was lazy about paying anyone so our other venue bailed on us, 3 weeks ago) and I found out my dress that I ordered back in January that was due April 15 was NEVER MADE! And I have really no idea when I will be here.
So the rest of the world can kiss my butt for the next few weeks! LOL! All I want is to be married to my guy. No matter what I'm wearing and where its at. I JUST WANT TO BE MARRIED ALREADY!
Dont let things get to you! I've had to let go of that one a long time ago! Everything will be fine. Just breathe. =)
That IS a lot of things going on for one persone regardless of financial status! There's only so many hours in a day. I find talking to my FI and blowing off some steam and snapping at him for a few good minutes helps me since he talks it out and lets me vent.
Kare7213.. your situation is extreme.. I don't know how you are dealing. I wish you all the luck in the world!
Alivoo01, my FI is amazing at listening and then giving me a big hug.. he's great that way.. last night I got three :) hehe.
How am I handling my stress? Not well, my friend, not well. I have been using a combination of self indulging stress-reduction techniques, including (but not limited to): chocolate, mini-tantrums, vodka, pedicures, xanax, and yoga (yay! A healthy method)
beachbrideamy.. I needed that laugh.. not that I'm lauging at you, but that I feel like that combo sounds pretty good right now :) I gave myself a pedicure last night & had a small piece of my fiances brownies.. sounds like I'm on the right path :) hehe.
Red wine, a hot bubble bath and some ice cream always helps me, im thinking of going to church to pray
Not as well as I was when I was 6+ months out.
The wedding is only the tip of the iceburg. I just found out I don't have a job come July and we're getting married in September. I'm worried about getting a job in this economy and it doesn't help that in addition to planning a wedding and working full time I now have to search for another job. Sigh.
How I deal: sleep, lose myself in a book, spend time on wedding bee, work out, and have a candlelit bubble bath.
Naps. They aren't the best way ever but I love a nap! I feel like I escape the world for a while, even if its just half an hour.
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Hi bees.
So I think that most of the time I am handling my stress pretty well. It's not just the wedding. My FI lost his job and went back to school, my salary was reduced to 80% over a year ago, and at any time our company could go under. We have had family issues, car issues, and now we are in the middle of wedding/ baby shower/ everyone's birthday season, and I'm pretty strapped.
Most of the time I'm pretty level headed & I can let things roll off my back, but somedays I just lose it. I will start crying over one little thing, I will snap at someone that doesn't deserve it & I can't really control it!
How is everyone else dealing with there stress? What are you doing to relax?