Post # 1
So my mother and I are very close. I am the only girl so we have always had a special bond. I still live at home so I see her every day and when I went to college she knew okay because she knew that I wasn’t going away for good. But now I am. FI and I just bought a house (it’s only 3 miles away) but the fact that this wedding means that I will be moving and everything will be changing. She has been so sad lately and keeps saying how lonely she feels. I think it’s a combination of knowing that I won’t be coming home every day and also that her job as a mother has sort of coming to an end. She is very educated and works so it’s not as though she has nothing to do, it’s just this change is hitting her hard.
How is everyone’s parents taking it you still live at home? Any suggestions on how to make mom feel better?
Post # 3
I left home to join the Army and I was the last one to leave home. My Mom was like that at first. I just call her all the time and we are like best friends now. She adjusted it just took a bit.
Post # 4
I do not still live at home, but I can relate. I moved to another city (14 hour drive) away from my mom to be with my FI. It was tough on her because we’re very close and now only see eachother every couple of months.
I don’t really have any suggestions because I don’t think there is a lot you can do to make her feel better. She just has to feel it, and then in time it will get better. My mom still talks about missing me but she’s much much happier and better than in the first couple of months (it’s been about a year). Just be supportive and assure her you’re not vanishing from her life forever, heck, you’re just 3 miles away!! 🙂
Post # 5
I don’t live at home, but I’m the only child and my mom is still having a really hard time with the fact that I’m on my own. I haven’t lived with them in 2 years, and I see them every other weekend. She still calls me crying that I “hate them and never want to spend time with them.” she is convinced that other daughters do such much more with their mothers, that I love my FILs so much more, etc. If you find a cure for this… let me know! Haha.
Post # 6
I think she just needs an adjustment period.
I left for University over 8 years ago and never came home and have lived with FI for almost 5 years so my parents are super excited and think that “it’s about time!” LOL
My mom and I’s relationship got better after I moved out. Maybe you could help her transition by saying that you will plan monthly “girls nights” where you go to dinner and a chick flick or something of the like?
Edit: @lilyfaith – that’s horrible! Guilting you into spending time with her I bet doesn’t make you want to spend more time with her!
Post # 7
I guess I’ll just give her time. I actually think our relationship will get better when I move out. Lately we are butting heads alot, we are both strong females and we but heads a little on how things should be done around the house. I just keep reminding her that I’m not going far and in a couple of yrs I’ll have children and we can both blow off work.
Post # 8
I don’t live at home anymore, but when I moved out there was definitely a transition period. With time it will improve. She might try new activities, go out with friends more often, etc. It can be a rough transition sometimes, but it will get better.
Post # 9
awww so sweet. i think it’s just a period of adjustment that she is going through.
my mom and i are super close, we live about 15 minutes away from each other and if i don’t call her on my way home from work every day, she’ll call me just to “check on me”…
she loves my FI and she is super happy for us, but being that i’m the oldest and her daughter… i think your mom feels just like my mom… that her baby isn’t a baby anymore and she’s starting her own family…
i think all you can do is to just be emotionally supportive and do things like visit often after you move out… and make sure that she doesn’t feel alone… and also with time she will lessen what she needs from you too 🙂
before u know it, u’ll be popping out babies and she’ll be so happy that she can take care of them! 🙂
Post # 10
It IS hard at first,but it gets better with time. You never stop being a Mom,no matter how old your kids get or how far away they live. Its hard to break routines and not have the every day conversations about nothing, but it does get better. She’ll be OK.
Post # 11
My mom is freaking out! I haven’t lived at home for years and am already marrried.. but I am moving to CO from FL. She is having such a hard time w/ this since I am the only kid that is moving states away. It sucks because I love my parents and will miss them. I just am moving there for University and it will be better for me and my husband in the long run. I still deal w/ the guilt trips, and suprise ugly sweater packages. Ugh.. oh well… hopefully they can get over it and we can Ichat 3 times a week. We shall see…