- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
Mine's fine, it seems like anyway. Sometimes I wonder if she REALLY likes me, but I guess I'll never know unless something BIG happens. I've heard stories about a mother's sons SO & the mother not getting along at ALL, do you get along with your FMIL?
I guess when I think about having my OWN son...I can def. see myself not liking a girl he's not in a relationship with, LOL kind of mean but hey that's MY little boy!! I think it'd probably be that way with his first few girlfriends, but when it comes to marrying someone..I'll have to like her then :)
I actually do get along my fiance's mother, but things have gotten a little more difficult in the last few months. I know that she likes me, and is happy that I am marrying her son, but I also understand how much emotion is wrapped up in weddings, and the implications of her first son (middle child) getting married, so we're trying to work through that!
We're homies =]
No really, we aren't besties, but I think I totally lucked out with a cool MIL. She's so normal about everything!
we get along great! i think i have a good advatage... she's not too fond of his brothers wife for numerous reasons, so if i was nicer than her i was pretty much in. and i'm "a nice jewish girl." what every jewish mil dreams of!
i guess we get along, not close at all but friendly with one another. FI and I started dating when we were 16/17 so i've known her for over a decade but through that time she's said some things that were hurtful ( prob because she didn't think we'd stay together, and also just a protective "mamma bear") but i try not to conjure up any bad feelings towards her because of the past.
i do wonder if she really likes me. FI says so, but our families are wayyyyyyyyyy different in the way we show emotion ( they are not demonstrative people, no hugs, loves yous.. ) and my family is the exact opposite, so that may be a factor. So far, so good. :)
My husband's mother died before I met him, but his grandmothers and aunt are all more than willing to fill the MIL void. Sometimes it feels like I've got multiple MILs! Things are usually fine, although I know my husband gets lots of comments about not visiting enough. I'm pretty sure my tongue is a few inches shorter from all the biting I do when I hear that - we see them much more than we see my family, and it's easier for them to come visit us than the other way around!
My FMIL is overwhelming. She was a very young mom so she's in her 40's and FI is 28. She's self-absorbed, thinks she's cool, REALLY defensive about her new lesbian life (when in reality, everyone is supportive and loves her partner, but she plays the "ITS BECAUSE I'M GAY I KNOW IT" card A LOT) She also has NO friends and since her partner is away most of the time for work, she calls her kids ALL. THE. TIME. which includes me. She's really overbearing and gossips HORRIBLY. She is embarassing in restaurants (rude to waitstaff) and throws scenes all the time.
Oh and she decided to rescind her offer to help pay for the wedding causing us to cancel our reception.
So yea, I really dislike her, but I put up with her. Everything is an issue and she's horribly wearing. FI feels mostly the same but I think he endures it more because, well, she's his mom!
We plan to move out of state (hopefully this year!) to get away. She's just WAY too much for us to handle.
I like her a lot, and we get along fine, as long as I don't have to spend extended amounts of time with her. Then she starts to drive me a little nuts, loll
We get along fine but like you, I sometimes wonder what she REALLY thinks. But she is the mother of 3 sons and has a domineering husband so she is just one of the sweet types, trying to please everyone. I guess that's good b/c we otherwise don't have much in common outside of my FI.
I love that lady, she is always thinking of me.. on my side and is so easy to talk to. I am one lucky bee... My In Laws rock
We get along, and have lots of fun chit-chatting about FH when he was a kid. She lives out of state though so I never see her.
I get two MILs.... lucky me? heh.
No really... my FI's step-mom I've met quite a few times and she is nice enough. I mean, I can't really ever see us having a deep conversation or anything, but I would say my relationship with her is as good or better than FI's relationship with her (which has always been strained).
FI's mom I have actually only met once because she lives pretty far away. She came and stayed with FI for a weekend last year and she was really nice. I think if she lived closer we would be a lot closer.
Overall I think I'm extremely lucky in that FI's family really stays out of his life entirely. Since we got engaged in October, his parents haven't called him at all (he has called them occasionally). I do wish that he was a little closer to his family sometimes because I'm close to mine, but it is better than the alternative (which would be for him to be super close to a crazy family)
I really love mine, but she intimidates me sometimes! I always go out of my way to make her happy because I'm a little scared of her, and I think that actually keeps us from being super close. Hopefully my irrational fear of her will die down after we're married!
I guess I lucked out with one of the best FMILs I could hope for, plus a FFIL who is one of the best fathers I've known. Seriously, they tell me all the time I'm a better daughter then their real daughter and I tell FFIL that he's a better father then my own. FFMIL and I just went to a bridal fair yesterday and it was like going with one of my best friends. I was expecting something much different then what I got based on my mother's relationship with her MIL, when my mom was alive they pretty much hated eachother.
FI and I joke that if we ever break-up his parent's would probably want to switch and take custody of me in the break-up. One time we said something like this in front of his mom and her response was "Well, of course"
It's interesting...I do get along with her well, but we're not what I would call "close". Probably because I'm exponentially closer to my own Mom, so that's what I'm comparing her to. Also, she's overbearing so I try to keep her at a polite distance. If she really needed anything, I'd be right there. But if she needed to move in with us, we'd pay her rent first.
We get along very well, and I consider myself very lucky. I genuinely enjoy her. She has a messy relationship with her own daughter, and she refers to me as her "new" daughter. I'm flattered by it.
My FMIL is completely overbearing. I try to keep her at a distance. She is rude towards peope who don't share her SUPER Catholic beliefs. She gossips and makes sure to make those people around her feel itty bitty. She is also socially innappropriate. I am not a fan.
We're not close. We have very little in common. Actually just make that her son in common.
She's not overly supportive of her son, which pisses me off. I only see her maybe 3 times a year, and I've learned alcohol helps.
@Corgitales I technically am getting 3 MIL's. FMIL, her partner, and FFIL's new wife. Although both step-MIL's are newer additons (past 5-8 years) so didn't raise FI or anything, so they're more hands off with us.
My poor children will have 3 grandmas and only one grandpa. (my dad passed away)
we fine but distant - we have nothing in common outside her son and even then, i often wonder how her son is related to them becasue he is so different. she a good, strong, hardworking woman who raised a wonderful man and i respect her for that
My FMIL is a little strange. We get a long okay; however, she is very set in her ways and think everyone and everything should be done her way. She is very critical a lot of the time, but that is just her personality. She is also very religous and lets everyone know it. I spoke with her this past weekend and let her know about some of the plans for the wedding. They are not contributing. She asked about alcohol at the wedding. They don't drink. I told her that we would only be having wine, champagne, beer, and lots of other sparkly stuff for those that don't drink. She told both my FI and I that we better not get drunk. I told her that I just might do that. And she said that I better not. She wasn't joking. I ended up telling her that I wouldn't, but when we got off the phone, I told my FI that I was going to do whatever I wanted and she would just have to deal. He laughed at me and said that he was too. I know I will probably get a little bit tipsy, but come on, she is not going to dictate my life to me.
@Sapphire: LOL!
I think my MIL *thinks* we're close, but I don't feel like I can be myself around her... she's really overbearing, and has no qualms at all telling people how things are done, and how to run their lives. Her sons and husband have learned to just tune it out, but her other DIL and I have a hard time dealing with it. She also has a bunch of gender role stereotypes that are so not in line with our relationship, and she just sort of refuses to see or hear things that run contrary to her pre-existing ideas.
Oh, also, DH is in Japan on business for 2 weeks right now, and she said in an email to me, "I hope you're not too lonely, but at least you get a break from cooking!" Total, classic example of how she acts. It gets my goat that she assumes
1) I am the only one in the relationship who cooks
2) I cook in order to please my husband, and only cook when he is around
3) Cooking is a distasteful chore to me, but I do it anyway because that is what wives do. I am glad to have a break from cooking.
4) When my husband is away, I don't cook. What does she think I eat? Seriously, I want to know! Has she forgotten that I'm also a human being who has nutritional needs? Or does she imagine that I'm ordering in all the time? Or eating PBJ? What imaginary circumstances are in her head such that his being away leads to me not cooking?
Um, so, to answer your question, not that good. She's ok. She's SOLID in a crisis. But on a day-to-day basis, she makes me insane. At least my husband agrees that she is a little bit crazy... if he were always on her side, this whole marriage thing would've been off the table - I couldn't deal with her behavior on my own! (Speaking of which, I think that John Gottman found that men siding with their mothers over their wives was predictive of divorce!)
My FMIL is... very dependant on FH. And, I won't lie, it's very straining. It's been worse since FFIL passed away which I totally understand but I feel like she doesn't really know how to speak to me which makes me feel a bit unwelcome. She also has a tendency to make mountains out of molehills that aren't even her own molehills! So we have a slightly strained relationship. Which saddens me a lot because I wish we were closer but in reality I don't think it'll happen.
it took me sever years... at the beginning she didnt even talk to me not even one word... but now we have a good relationship
I get along better with my FMIL than I do with my mother, lol. I think this really annoys my mom which, when I'm feeling wicked, kind of gives me a little bit of satisfaction.
My FMIL is great to me. When I first met her she didn't talk to me very much. After a few more personal interactions she has become someone I trust and count on very much for support not just in the wedding but in a personal way.
I had to have a hysterectomy last december 08 and I was devastaed. the first thing she did was make sure I was getting well and after things calmed down she offered to carry a baby for me. ( THAT WAS STRANGE) We said no to that but were so grateful that she could take on that for us so we could have a complete family. I have a great deal of respect for her.
My FFIL ( they're divorced) Is a good man but tends to be the interfering kind.
At first I was AMAZED at the response of everyone getting along with their FI's mother!! But now I'm finding out that a lot of people are just like me - they have an okay relationship with them.
I COULD NOT stand it if my FI was dependent on his mother OR if my FI's mother was dependent on FI. I don't mind if you're a "mama's boy" but there's a certain extent you can take that to. FI does a good job at this..& I like FI's mother, she's just different than me I guess..& makes TOO much direct eye contact sometime so it can freak me out! LOL
We get along great! In fact, I joke with my FI that if he ever messes up, I am going to move in with his mom. Hahaha.
My relationship with my FMIL is about as good as my fiance's relationship with his mother. I will leave it at that.
Yeah, we got along during the 7 years that DH and I were dating. Then it started to go down hill once I got engaged. You know, I think I just realized that it started a few months after the engagement. Wow. When she started expecting certain things for my wedding and saying what I wanted was good enough.. that's when it went from bad to worse. I don't even talk to her anymore. She turned psycho. I don't even know what happened to her. She became a witch. I don't care for her anymore. I don't hate the women but she is not someone I would ever want to be in the same room with.
Boy, has things changed.
EDIT: Hmmm... I was watching the bridezilla show over the weekend and it got me thinking... There should be a show called FMIL-zilla. I would sign my MIL up immediately!!!! LOL
@yrret: I'm sorry girl!!! Gosh, it stinks what getting engaged will do to some people. You think she'd be happy!! Especially after you & your FI were dating for 7 yrs!
My FMIL is a very sweet lady, but kind of immature and hypersensitive. I think she likes me because she sees how happy I make her son. Her and I totally don't click and I don't necessarily see that changing over the years.
My FMIL was a young mother who never married and most likely has some mental health issues. She is extremely attracted to drama, real or created. I don't know if I could count how many times I have seen her cry when we used to see her. Now I am a very compassionate person, to a fault at times, but to cry because the mail is late? That isn't to say that I dont care for her or her suffering but she has always refused to get help of any kind. She is always looking for a hand out of some kind and lies unlike anything I have ever seen which is frustrating to everyone. Once she had asked me to clean her mothers house for her as a surprise and when her mother (who I LOVE) returned form her trip my FMIL took the credit with me standing right by her side! This is just one single example, and unfortunately there are so many more. She has always relied soley on my FI for her happiness which has always caused him so much frustration and at times real pain. Whenever any of his relationships had the appearance of getting serious she would give him an ulitmatum, either he had to get rid of his girlfriend or she would "walk". Well none of his past relationships were ever serious and always fizzled out before she made her grand exit, until he met me. We all got along great at first. She used to do weird stuff that I suppose should have been a good indication of what she had going on in her mind. One example, she is a fabulous cook and I am a pretty darn good baker. I thought that we'd make a great combination. One night she made dinner and we all raved. Then I made the desert which led to more raving. She announced to everyone that I didn't make the desert from scratch like I had claimed because she found the box in the trash! There was no box and I had spent two hours baking...from scratch. When I asked her about it, she just looked at me and gave a wicked grin, then laughed! Kind of creeped me out. Well there are many more strange stories but in the end she confronted my FI in front of me and asked him to make a choice. She left and its been 18 months with no word from her. She actually left the entire family, even her own mother. I admit that I am not used to drama. I grew up in a house where we wouldn't create a fuss even if we were on fire and to be fair FI's family is pretty much the average middle class family with their wonderful points and quirks but still try to avoid drama. So this whole situation feels fairly surreal to us all.
FI and FMIL see eachother from time to time by the accidental run in. I can't imagine how painful this is for her, as a mother myself, but according FI she has burned this bridge for the last time. She is not coming to the wedding and she will never be a part of our lives. Since the separation my FI has found out some absolutely horrible and cruel lies that she has told him through the years including lies about the identity of his real father. I have never been one to completely close doors on anyone but this time I have closed it and bolted it shut. We have since figured out that she may have Munchausen's though from what I hear she still refuses any sort of mental/ medical help and I have two young children myself to consider. Its sad. However FI is actually beginning to enjoy life in a way he never has before and so is his grandmother (FMIL's own mother). I guess that says alot. The situation isn't easy and as she still lives in town, so our guard is never really down but this is a time where I whole heartedly agree that this particular breakup was absolutely for the best. The rest of FI's family is amazing and wonderful. they are absolutely supportive and stay involved in our lives which I truly apprecaite. What we have learned is that sometimes we need to redefine what 'family' really means, its not always about the blood you share with someone. Sorry this is so long, just haven't really talked about it much and I guess I had to get if off my chest. Thanks guys!
@yrret, you know, my problems with my FMIL really started to show after we got engaged too. I think it's a bit of a mummy syndrome where suddenly we're not good enough to be getting married to their little boys.
@littlemissmoo
Yeah, I know my DH has mommy issues and we actually went to counseling before our wedding and it made my DH realize that he does have mommy issues. Just admitting it was the first step and he has gotten way better... but now I'm thinking it was a combination of DH's mommy issues and MIL son issues.
am not engaged but i live with my SO who lives in an apt above mil.I cant wait to get as FARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR away from her .the FAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRther THE BETTER.LOL. WE JUST DONT GET ALONG AND WE ARENT EVEN SPEAKING RIGHT NOW.SHE BLAMES ME FOR EVERYTHING ESPECIALLY BECAUSE HE IS SO MUCh IN LVE WITH ME AND WILL GO ALL OUT FOR ME.SHE ALWAYS SAYS IF I WAS ....... U WOULD DO IT.SHE IS TOTALLY DePENDANT AND FRUSTRATING TO ME AND EVEn TO HIM WE BOTh WANT TO MOVE AND QUICKLY.WE ARE LOOKING aT LAND NOW.NOW SHE KNS THAT SHE IS LIKE WELL U GUYS CAN EXTEND THE UPSTAIRS ONTO THE REST OF THE LAND.ID RATHER LIVE N A TIN CAN WITh a PILLOW ThAn SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE IF HE ACTUALLY COMMITS THAn LIVE ANY LONGER THAN I HAVE TO ABOVE HER.AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! good luck. i could go on and on .lol
I heart my FMIL- she's amazing and consults me about everything because she's very feminine and loves all the little details. My mom... not so much. I'm not so sure she's even batted an eyelash at anything so far lol :o)
I honestly don't know her very well... she apparently likes me alot, though, so that's good!
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| Lyndzo | 42 |
| Ms. Salamander | 23 |
| mypinkshoes | 22 |
| beargoose | 21 |
| rebwana | 21 |
| his chippymunk | 20 |
| Jenlon | 18 |
| AshleyR83 | 18 |
| LammChop | 17 |
| fivemonthsnotice | 17 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| imageeksowhat | 3 |
| Sasha2011 | 2 |
| tenacity | 2 |
| Cady | 2 |
| mightywombat | 1 |
| vlbee | 1 |
| beargoose | 1 |
| Andr0meda | 1 |
| LittleAmanda | 1 |
| Zanne54 | 1 |
