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My wedding reception starts at 7 (cocktail hour) then everyone goes into the ballroom at 8 for dinner...
I think your timeline sounds fine. Don't be surprised though if people just keep their kids up for dinner. . .unless they know it's a 'no toddlers at dinner' kind of meal.
I think we'll let it be known in a very kind way that "we are allowing the extra time for the toddlers to keep to their normal bedtime routines" in other words NO LITTLE KIDS at dinner as there will be candles, fine china, and crystal. Thanks for the ideas.
I have a few questions for you because I'm having trouble seeing how this will work:
-Are you sure that all your friends will be able to put their children to bed during that time? Especially since they won't be in their regular environments, they may not be able to keep their regular bedtime rountines.
-Also, when are the children supposed to eat dinner? Before the ceremony? That may also mess up the regular evening routine for the little ones.
-After the children eat, they will go to the ceremony with their parents, then the parents will go back to where ever children are sleeping (during cocktail hour) to put them to bed?
-Where are the children sleeping?
-Who is going to be with the children while they're sleeping? Are you providing sitters, because their parents will be out parting/ dancing with you?
I don't think I understand the set up of your event. Some little ones will not be able to sleep in this situation-- at least, not in time for the parents to make it to the reception dinner, but maybe to the dancing. However the children could wake up later in the evening because of the unfamiliar environment and get upset because their parents aren't nearby. I'm not sure how this will work.
Maybe you could set up a nearby room and have a professional baby sitting agency watch the little ones during the ceremony/ dinner?
The reception is actually going to be in the great room of the house as it is a mansion(literally). The babies would be welcome to join us during the cocktail hour and can eat dinner then if not before, the bedrooms are not far from the reception area and I am willing to provide baby gates as we have them for our house to shut off certain rooms when we are having parties, but I will not provide a babysitting service per say. Once dinner is over there will be girls of babysitting age that I can have upstairs checking on the children. So I'm not sure how this may work. My youngest will be twelve ,which is why we have chosen to do this now, and while I am trying to think of everything for those who have small children I just know that I don't want two yr olds at my formal dinner. So I hope this helps with your ideas. What do you think is the right thing to do?
Honestly, talk to your guests about this. They are the only ones who know what is going to work with their kids. And I'd probably hire a couple of people to babysit for the kiddos that aren't going to go to sleep....and there will be at least one of those!
I agree with JenniMIchele that children out of their normal environment wont be that easy to "put to bed" and will there be sitters around to watch them? or are the toddlers just going to be left in their rooms on their own? If you dont want kids at the dinner then i dont think the kid should come to the ceremony at all otherwise its gonna be kinda hard to work everything out
We won't be in our normal area as the event is an hour from where we live and I can't afford to hire a babysitting service so other than arranging for the older girls to be served their dinner earlier in order to allow them to be upstairs or in another room with the kids I don't know what to do. I can speak with the older girls and see if I could have them served earlier and just pay them to watch the little ones as I was going to have them at a "big kids" table anyway. This would be the only solution I could come up with. Maybe this is what I can do since the food served during the cocktail hour wouldn't be to their taste anyway, although I would still have it offered to them. There is a home movie theater on the same floor as the reception where they could watch the children and a movie during the dinner meal for the adults. The three girls will be 13,12, and 11 and two of the three have watched all the little ones at one point in time anyway so the little ones will be familiar with these girls. Do you think this would be a good solution?
A couple of more things that I thought about:
Is the great room close to the room where the children are sleeping? On one hand, that would be a good thing, so if a child does wake up and get upset, the child's parents will be nearby. However on the other hand, if the party is too loud, you may run the risk of waking the little ones and you definitely don't want to have to worry about being quiet during your after party.
From your previous post, it seems that during dinner, there will be no one to check on the toddlers, and after dinner, you'll have some girls checking on them periodically? If that's the case, I would be worried about leaving the toddlers alone during dinner time-- even if they're sleeping. They make wake up and get upset. Maybe you could think about having a couple of babysitters (not anyone from your guestlist) to watch over the little ones during dinner and the after party. That may help to alleviate the stress on this situation so the babysitters can try to get the little ones back to sleep if they wake up, and if a child won't go back to sleep, the babysitter can come quietly pull the parent aside to help and afterwards the parents can return to the party knowing that the child is being watched over.
I'm not sure your location, but you could check care.com or sittercity.com for some sitters (two sitters for one evening probably wouldn't cost too much either).
Lastly, I agree that you should speak with your guests about what they think will work because they know what their children can do. You can get an idea set of what you think will work and present it to the mom's on your guestlist and ask them if they think its doable.
Good luck! It's so nice of you that you're being considerate of your guests and their children, even though it's extra work for you. Kudos.
I didn't see your most recent post:
I think if the girls are willing to do that, that would work great.
Do you know if they want to be a part of the adult party? If so, I don't know if asking them to babysit would hurt their feelings or not. Were you planning on inviting them to the sit down dinner and afterparty? If not, I think this is a good idea. If you were planning on inviting them but are now thinking about asking them to babysit, maybe speak to their parents first to see if their parents have an idea of what the girls would think of this/ if the girls would be upset with this idea.
One of the girls is my daughter, the other my niece, and the last my best friend's daughter (who is the big sister of one of the toddlers) so I am not worried about them not being willing to do it. I just may have to bribe slightly with pedicures and allowing two of the girls to perform a dance routine during the very beginning of cocktail hour. LOL I know that my daughter won't really be given an option and the other two moms when faced with the prospect of having to have their small children interupting their meal would be delighted to have their daughters do this. It'll just be a matter of offering the girls a big enough bribe for them to give up their meal with the grown ups.
Wonderful! It looks like you've found a great solution that will work perfectly. :)
Congrats on your upcoming anniversary.
Many people do not want to eat a full meal after 7pm as that is going past the dinner hour. Even 7pm is considered late for alot of folks. Stay within the regular dinner hour of 5-7pm and don't go any later than that. If you want to start at 8pm or later, serve just desserts.
I think the plan you have right now is a great one. I am sure your friends will understand that this is an adult only function :); Good Luck, and Congrats!
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My husband and I are doing a vow renewal for our 15th anniversary at a private estate. We have many couples we know who have had children later in life and will be bringing them with them as they are coming from out of town. Our children are older, and while we love our friends' toddlers aren't thrilled with the idea of having them at the elegant sit down meal we have our hearts set on. So my question is how late is too late in order to allow time for the children to be put down for the evening? I am considering doing the vows at 6:30, a cocktail hour at 7pm followed by the sit down meal at 8, followed by dancing and drinks. Everyone attending will be staying onsite with us. Is this too late?