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I've been wondering about this for a while because I'll be just shy of 21 when we get married, and we both want to wait about 10 years before having kids, and I feel like we're the only ones. It seems like most women are excited to have kids right away. If you'd like, explain why you would or wouldn't want to have kids right away. Personally, I'd like to get settled into married life, be sure we're ready financially (and in all other ways), and have plenty of carefree, baby-free time with my husband because I know babies change things a lot.
I chose 1-2 years. FI is planning on looking for a new job after the wedding, so as soon as he has a job we are going to wait about a year for him to get settled, and then start TTC.
I agree with you. I will be 23 and he will be 24. also I wont graduate till I just turn 26.. so we want to have student loans paid off and enjoy our 20s!
I agree with you. I will be 23 and he will be 24. also I wont graduate till I just turn 26.. so we want to have student loans paid off and enjoy our 20s!
We don't plan on having kids at all, but if we did, we would be like you and wait a few years. I was 25 when we got married, so I think we would have waited til I got closer to 30 to start (I'm 27 now)
If I were as young as you are when I got married I totally would have waited YEARS. We were in our early 30s so we only waited 9 months. If I were in your situation, I would wait until my late 20s.
Well..... Since we both are in our mid 30's really any time after we got married. LOL it didn't work that way. I actually ended up getting pregnant little before our wedding. I had just entered my 2nd trimester when we got married last month!
We were married just shy of 6 months when we found out. We were going to wait to try 2-4 years after we got married, but we really didn't try to prevent it. We are already pretty stable and own a home so we were really careless when it came to trying. I charted, but it was more to be aware of my body than to TTC or prevent. I figured that this may be the perfect time to get pregnant because I am still in grad school. It is not interfering with work because I haven't started my career yet.
Plus, Hubby and I feel like there is no pressure for us to have anymore kids for a few years. If I would've waited to begin my career before trying, we would've felt the pressure. Now I can have this baby, finish my degrees, and start my career. I will probably wait another 5-7 years before we try again.
ETA: We have been together for 8 years.
We were trying for the last six months, with no luck. So, we'll be trying again in March; a month before our wedding. Here's hoping we have luck in March!!!!
We are going to try about 5 or 6 years after we're married. There is just way too much to do before we have kids!
@NatAndTy: I totally agree with you! My FH and I are 23 and we are not planning on having kids for at least another 5 years. Everyone keeps asking us when we will be popping babies out and when I say not for at least 5 years they look at me like im crazy. I think people think because your getting married means you want babies right away. I want to enjoy my 20's with my FH. I have way too many things I wanna do before we have some babies!
I voted 4-6 years, but really it's more like 3-4. I'm going back to school in September for another degree and it'll be 3 years before I'm done. He's done now, for good, and we will be basically on one income for those three years. After I graduate and have been working for a year or two, we'll probably TTC.
It's not exactly ideal for us, but we'll deal with it. That puts me at around 26 when we TTC (and it may not happen quickly, as I have PCOS which is a fertility disorder). So we'll see when I ACTUALLY get pregnant. We'll have been together for almost 10 years at the time we'll probably TTC.
I voted for, the first option. I'm already trying ... for about 3 years. First it was not our intention to marry at all. But my soon to be husband wanted to make a statement, that he wanted to be with me, with or without kids. And now we are totally in this marrying thing.
I voted 4-6. We're aiming for 5. Like you, we're young (21+22), and want to pay off our debts, travel, buy a house, and have a good career before we have kids. If they come before then, we'll be thrilled I'm sure, but hopefully not until we're around 25-27.
We started trying after 8 months of marriage. That's b/c I'm a lot older than you though. If I had gotten married in my early 20's I'm 90% sure that I still would have waited until my late 20s to try for a baby. As it is I just turned 30, and we're ready to start trying now. I know its less normal to wait for many years after getting married to have kids, but I know plenty of people who have done it. You'll have to expect some badgering from overeager family members and friends, but just ignore it. You shouln't have kids until you feel like you're ready to!
We started trying pretty much right away, just waited a month to get off my meds. We're older, and want multiple children, so it makes more sense for us to start early. Plus I figured we lived together for 2 years already so we already had a lot of "us" time. Although now that the baby is coming soon, I'm trying to get as much "us" time as possible b/c I know it will end soon.
We plan on waiting 3-4 years. Its been 1 year already and only 2.66 more until DH graduates then we can start to TTC! (or concieve in ~2.3 years)
DH and I were 24 and 23 respectively when we got married and planned to wait around 4 years to start TTC. We've been married just shy of a year now so we have another 3 years or so to go! :)
While we are emotionally and financially completely ready for kids, we wanted to have some time to just enjoy each other as husband and wife before expanding our family (well, besides our adorable dog!).
We waited 2 1/2 years after the wedding to get pregnant, we probably wouldn't have waited that long if I wasn't in school. However we're in our late 20's/early 30's and have been together for 7 years already. If I were you I would definitely wait at least until my mid/late 20's.
we started trying before our wedding and we are still trying. If we get pregnant in the next few months, DH will be 35 when we have our first and I will be 33.
We will be 23 when we get married and hopefully will start trying when I am 29.
So 6 years.
We are hopping the TTC boat now and we've been married 3 months. I am 26 and DH is 21.... he's been ready to start since day 1 of the honeymoon. lol
We originally thought about waiting a year but after I thought about it and the time of pregnancy (if I conceive right away) and us wanting more than 1 child and thought that I didn't want to wait that long.. so yea... we're 3 mths in and this is our 1st cycle TTC
This has been a big topic of discussion with me lately. Had this question been asked a year ago, I would have answered AT LEAST 5-6 more years. However, now that I'm engaged and done with school, babies seem less terrifying. Now I'm thinking probably 3 years or so...we'll see where we end up! (I'm 25, btw).
We originally said 2-3 years after our wedding, but it looks like it'll be closer to 1 year (yay!). I'm 26, he's 25, and I would like to be done having our 2 kid by 32. And we'd like them to be about 4 years apart... so... do the math :)
We figure we'll wait about 1.5-2 years. We got married after being together for 4 years, and were 26 and 30 at the time.
We have Been married 10 months and I am 5 weeks pregnant. = )
Originally we wanted to wait, but we changed our minds.
I'm 30 and he's 27, so we don't want to wait too long, but we want some time together as husband and wife before we add in kids to the mix, so we decided to wait for a year.
I'm 24 and FI is 31. He already has his masters degree and I am getting ready to start mine. We have owned a home together for almost 2 years and he has an amazing job with great pay. I work now but I plan on staying home for a little while after we have a baby. We have decided that I will work this upcomming school year so we can get things straightened out and have a nice savings account then we will start TTC. So 6 months to a year.
When we got married I was 33 and my husband and I had been together for 7+ years. We started TTC right after the honeymoon and I was pregnant within about 5 months.
I voted 6 months to a year. But I have a feeling it will definitely be at lthe very east a year. There are still trips we'd like to take and things we'd like to do, but at the same time...neither of us are getting any younger. I'm 28 and he's 35.
We've been together for almost 6 years, but I just can't give up the freedom of "us" yet for a child. As selfish as that may sound...
We're in the 2-4 years category. Got married when I was 27 (still am) and plan to start trying when I turn 30. There are so many things we want to do before having children most of which become way more complicated with kids like spontaneous travel and focusing on our careers. Also, I'm not ready for childbirth just yet so we're sticking to our waiting plan.
Feeling pretty alone right now lol. We will be 20 when we are married in september and plan on trying on the honeymoon, no charting etc just all natural and see what happens. I want my family young, i have been on the other end of the scale ( born to an older mother) and i would never wish that on my children. We want them young so we dont have to rush and by the time we are 45 we will be free again! hehe hopefully. Saying that, we are secure and if something happened between then and the wedding we would hold off untill we were in a better financial position.
@NatAndTy: We are going to start trying a month before the wedding, so June of next year. I will be 32 when I get married and FI will be turning 36 a month after the wedding. Although I do not consider myself "too old" to start trying to have a family, we would like to have more than one child so we think our ages are a perfect time to start..... Not to mention we are sooooo ready for a LO ;)
There isn't an option for less than 6 hours. JK!
When we get married, we'll have been together for almost five years, and have been ready to start having kids for a while now. The only set back is that I refuse to have kids until we're married. I'll be a month shy of 26 and FH will be a few months shy of 40 when we wed. He wanted to have at least our first child before he was 40, but that won't happen.
We waited 10 months before starting to try... we were expecting it to take a little longer to get pregnant, but oh well. I think it helps to have some time to get your feet wet and get used to the whole marriage thing, but beyond that, if you want to wait 2 years or 12 years before you start your family, more power to you.
I voted 1-2 years and we will probably start trying around 1 1/2 years. We are a young couple too. I think you should wait as long as it takes for you to feel ready.
ETA I just noticed your wedding date is a little more than 2 years from now so by then you might change your mind. I have a lot of friends who said one year that they wanted to wait five-six years to get married and the next year had a baby and couldn't stop talking about how great being a mommy and wife was.
I voted 1-2 years. We're going to be trying in the fall. Also, I'm 31 and my husband's turning 33 in August. I wanted to really enjoy marriage before kids despite being together for 5 years previous when we married. We're on the older side, but I wouldn't give up what an awesome two years we've had before trying. I really wasn't ready for kids until this year or late this year. I'm happy that we're going to be trying when we're really ready for it all.
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