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Hey Ladies,
Just curious and maybe this has been posted before, but I don't think I have seen it.
How long are you and your guy planning on waiting before trying to start a family? What are your reasons behind the length of time?
We're waiting for about three or four years, just so he can finish his Ph.D. and I can finish my M.F.A. :)
We're on the 1 year plan. Kind of. I mean, i'll be weaning the BC out of my system in the spring, and then we'll actively try.
I wanted to wait longer, but i have endo and I need to use it or lose it! So we're going to get a jump on things even though i'm not happy about being 24 and actively trying. I wanted to be like, 27, more established, etc.
We have agreed on 5 years. We are both young and want to build a strong marriage before having a family. We also want a chance to do some things we couldn't do with kiddos in tow!
My fiance is 25, and I'm 23. He wants kids by the time he's 30, so we'll start trying in 3-4 years. I know we're going to have fertility issues (it's on my side), so hopefully it won't take us too long to get pregnant. I want to wait until I'm 28 or so, but then I'm paranoid we'll have a hard time getting pregnant. @ejs4y8-I've got endo too! I'm the same way...hehehe...I'm going to start saying "use it or lose it." I definitely want to be more established too...maybe we'll try in 3 years instead of 5, just to be safe.
We want time to ourselves first so we will wait a few years... just enjoy eachother. We would like to get some traveling in too..... dependent on $$
I'm a PhD student, so we want to want until I'm finished before we have kids.
We're going to wait 2-3 years for various reasons:
-our lease is up in Oct. 2010. We have rent stabilization, so we have a year after that until the rent goes to market rate. We're going to stay in our apartment one more year to save $$$. Also, real estate in NYC is ridiculous and it will likely take us forever to find a 2-bedroom.
-We want to take a long trip to Asia before we have children. We would either do this summer 2011 or 2012.
-my sister is close to getting engaged and will probably get married in 2011 or 2012. She's my only sister and I would prefer not to be pregnant or have a child in tow for her wedding.
-My career needs to be on a MUCH better level than it is now.
-We both need to finish school, and I'm going to explore getting my PhD.
We are going to wait longer than a year because I'm 21 years old. 'Nuff said. College, building a career, obtaining my Masters, traveling, and emotional/spiritual maturity come before the babies. The marriage goes without mentioning, naturally.
My goal for starting a family is to have at least one book published before I become pregnant. If I don't do that, I know I'll be disappointed in myself. So either I'll have to get cracking on the writing to have children before I'm 26, or the family will have to wait.
@Stacy Marie, we'll def need to get together and chat in Nov. I've got lots of resources up my sleeve.
Frankly, doc told me to use it or lose it at age 20. I'm now uh, 23. We're pushing it!!!
Honestly, i feel much easier saying i gotta "use it or lose it" than trying to explian why i want kids at age 24. Which i don't, it's just how life plans out. I'll be finishing TWO masters degrees with, if we're lucky, one on our lap and one in my belly. Challenging. Sleep is for wussies =]
I'm just grateful we've had 5 wonderful years together already, so i'm warming up to it.
We are going to wait a few years. I'm 26 and my husband is 30 so it won't be too long. I would like to be a little more "established" and have a bigger condo. I would also like to travel some more before the kids come along.
we've agreed on about 5 years. i want to get started before i'm 30 and i'm almost 25 now, will be 26 when we get married. so it'll be probably 2 years after marriage. the reason is mostly that we're still young and we have things to do (like travel!) before we want to have someone else depending on us!
@StacyMarie & ejs: my girlfriend has endo and her doctor told her she would never be able to have kids. Well she just had her first this summer and she is 26! We wer so happy her doc was wrong! :)
We are going to wait about a year, but my rule is we need a bigger house before we have kids! (It's seriously tiny... like less than 900 sq feet!)
We going to wait 3 years or so- we want to enjoy a few years with just the two of us. Also we're actors, so once we have kids it will be exponentially harder to get to last minute auditions and stuff like that. But we can't wait much longer than 3 years because I'm 30!
@StacyMarie and EJS: My mom has endo. They told her she'd never have kids. Yet my sister and I exist. I think some doctors exaggerate this problem (not the actual problem of endo, but being able to have kids)
@KJpugs: hehe, I'll be lucky to be living in nearly 900 feet when we get a two-bedroom. Gotta love Manhattan real estate ;o)
We will probably wait 2 years which means I will be finishing my masters and will be 37 so I kind of need to do it then because it is pushing it. He will be 40 so we want them pretty soon but we want time together before we have them. If we can't we will adopt and possibly an older child.
No kids here!! Hehehee... but theoretically if we both get the kiddie pangs and agree to adopt, i'd want to wait at least 2-3 years after we're married so we can save and plan for it.
We will be 27 when Married and will have been together for 7 years and we have our house and so we are going to start trying right away. I want to get pregnant during my PhD (I will have 2 years left after the wedding) because a career in academia isn't really conducive to family life when you are first starting out!
We both really have the baby bug though and wish we could be trying NOW!
We're older so we want to start trying in 2011. We get married in March and I'll be 32 and he'll be 33. We would have been together for 4 years when we get married. And living together for 6 months come the wedding day!
I always wanted to wait and enjoy 3-4 years with my hubby but I never thought I'd get married this late in life. Goes to show you can't plan everything!
We figure we will seriously think about it at 30. Mind you, his mom wants them now and we're not even engaged. I'd originally wanted to be married for five years before thinking of kids, but now I'd say 30 is a good time to seriously think about it.
We figure at 30, we should be relatively settled in finances and life.
The bf and I are not 100% sure we'll have kids. He's a workaholic and I'm not super maternal. Also, we both really want to travel and its so much harder with kids. But, we've agreed that if we decide to have kids the ideal time would be when I'm 30-35. I'll be 25 this month, so we would start trying in about 5 years. We're not yet engaged, but I think we'll probably be married next fall, so it would be about 4 years from our wedding.
we're on a 1-2 year plan. since we've been an ldr for our entire relationship, i want to get some good us time before we add kids to the mix!
We're long distance and want time together, too! But we also are both just finishing grad school and want to establish careers before kids can be on the horizon. I'll be 26 when we're married. So about 3-4 years.
I'm 28 and he's 31. I'd prefer when we get engaged and set a date, preferably before I start to show. I'd also like a good teaching job, which I should be able to get, once the economy gets better and people aren't so afraid to move to a different school!ARGH! He wanted to start two months ago!
We are going to live in the US (we both are Australians) and just be married for a few years before we come home to start a family.
We'll be waiting for a while. We're both young and will be finishing up college when we get married, so we definitely want to spend several years just...married...before we start thinking about kids! It will probably be about 5-6 years for us.
We just want to be married for a while. We want to go to Europe before we have kids too, so it may be 3-4 years.
We're thinking 2-3 years. We want some time to ourselves to enjoy being married but I want to have kids relatively young so we don't want to wait too long. We're both really looking forward to having kids though so it'll probably be more on the 2 year side than the 3.
we're waiting several years, because we're young! We'll be 26 and 27 when we get married. Why on EARTH would we start having kids already!?
Atleast 5 years before we have kids.... he wants them right away, but he's also 12 years older than me. Since I'm the one thats going to do the feedings & the majority of the raising-- I want to wait until I'm closer to 30 :)
It's a big enough change to become a wife!! I also think its important for couples to have a rock solid bond as husband & wife before they become parents. Once you're a parent you can never go back & your relationship is changed forever!
I always thought that I wouldn't start a family until I had been married for at least a few years. BUT, I also always wanted kids around the age of 30. Well... we're getting married next summer, right after I turn 29, and career-wise, this might be a good time for us to start a family. So... we've been talking about trying to have kids soon after we get married.
It's funny because all of our friends have children but neither of us have any desire to have kids anytime soon. I'm 25 and he is 28, but I think he wants to start trying around 30. He doesn't want to be "too old" lol. We really just want to feel more established and prepared by first having a wedding and we definitely need a house because this one bedroom apartment just isn't going to cut it. Also, we had talked about doing some traveling.
We're waiting for a while...I'm just 21 and he's 23, and I still have to finish up law school and stuff, and then I want some focus-on-the-career time before I start the whole mothering thing. Plus...I think we're really going to enjoy just being young and together. So probably at least 6 or 7 years for us. :)
I have three kids and, for medical reasons, can't have anymore. As fate would have it my guy never wanted to have children of his own (hereditary condition concern) so it was a blessing to his mother that he fell in love with not just me but my children as well!
@Vintage - I hear you! I'm 32 and will be 32 when we get married in April - he'll be 35. I didn't plan on getting married this late either but wouldn't change a thing now - he was worth the wait. We've been together just over 3 years and we'll live together about 3 months before the wedding so we're planning on starting to try by the end of 2010. Fingers and toes crossed - hopefully there won't be any problems but you never know til you try!
I always thought 30 would be a good time to have children. I'll have just turned 27 when we get married next year and have about 2 years left in my PhD. 30 would give me one year to work before we start trying so it's not really how I had planned to be established in a career before having children but I also don't want to be considerably older so we'll prob. wait about 3-4 years after being married. He's 3 years older than me so he's also in favor of starting when I'm 30 and not later.
Thanks for the info, ladies. I know lots of peopel who were told "you can't have kids" and then they do. Endo's kinda sneaky like that, but we figured we better get a jump on it now and not waste my fertile years! Even if it takes us 5 years to have one, that puts me at 28 =]
@Jaxx, I have a friend who wants to adopt =]
hopefully we'll wait 3-5 years from our wedding. We'll only be 21/22 when we get married, & it'll be nice for it to be just me & him for a while before we have the kids the rest of our lives!
We are going to wait so we can save the money and buy a house, plus I don't think either of us are ready for children, we both like to travel in the spur of the moment.
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