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I am not pregnant or even TTC yet, but I am interested in knowing what the norm is. We are getting close to wanting to TTC and this will help a lot. I am thinking to tell immediate family ASAP, but others after the 3 month mark. What did you/will you do? And why?
My husband and I told our parents when we were about 8 weeks along (we found out at only 3 weeks). We didn't tell our friends until about 3 months.
We told our parents and our best friends at about 5 weeks. My boss also guessed at about 6 weeks. We didn't tell anyone else until the second trimester, but it was really just because it was kinda awkward to tell all our co-workers and others. One co-worker ended up guessing around 13 weeks, I think, and we just let her spread the news around the office. :) Easy on us!
I would wait to tell my family until after the first trimester. I'm weird & the risk of miscarrying is greater in that first trimester. I haven't been pregnant before, but I had a friend who told everyone as soon as she knew & then miscarried & then everybody you know has to say sorry & all that...she told me that literally every time someone said sorry or asked if she was okay, it like just reopened the wound. ya know what I mean? I would rather grieve with my husband alone & get through it together rather than ya know everybody...
I told my SIL right away, since she and I are really close and she knew we were trying. We told my parents a few days after we found out (I was 5ish weeks) and we told DH's family the following weekend. We told a couple close people right away as well, but waited until after the first ultrasound (11 weeks) to tell extended family and friends. I told work at about 12 weeks along with everyone else.
We are kinda planning a staggered approach.
4 weeks - We found out via missed period and positive HPT
7 weeks - Told parents after seeing an ultrasound
8 weeks - Told IL's after seeing the heartbeat
10-12 weeks - Told close friends and some extended family (still in progress)
Mid second trimester - Will tell work and others
End of second trimester - formally announce on facebook
You should make you poll so that people can answer more than one - that way they can address when they told each category of people.
DH and I aren't TTC yet but when we are pregnant, I suspect we'll tell our immeadiate families pretty quickly. Most everyone else, I suspect we'll try to wait until as close to the 12 week mark as I could physically keep myself quiet for. (That is unless morning sickness made me have to tell work earlier).
I don't really want to tell anyone about Wombat due to our circumstance, but we also wanted to tell people who would have to travel far to meet Wombat.
~8 weeks (after 1st doctor appointment) - we told his family at Christmas when we saw them, told my siblings and his far away siblings on the phone
~9weeks - really close friends as they were available
~10 weeks - told my dad and then my mom
I'm 13 weeks today and we still haven't told most of my family. They were very rude when we announced Moose, so I really don't even want to.
As for Facebook, that'll happen when I deliver a living baby, not before.
@Mrs.KMM: Good looking out. I forgot to select that. Thanks
@TheFutureMcBride: Are you calling the baby Wombat?
I was thinking of telling Hubby when the test turns positive, of course. The telling our immediate families when it's confirmed by the Dr. (either positive test or ultrasound) and waiting to begin to tell everyone else after the first tri-mester. I might slip some close friends in there sooner than the others.
@PrncssDva: Yes, our baby's nickname is Wombat because, like Moose, we're not finding out the gender. Plus, wombats are feisty and we need a feisty baby ready to fight for his/her life.
I plan on telling a very few close friends and family a few days after we find out. At the beginning of the second trimester we'll tell the rest of our family and friends, and we'll announce at the end of the second.
We told my our parents and close friends at 9 weeks and then announced to extended familly at 11 weeks. Announced to co-workers after the first ultrasound and hearing the heart at 12 weeks
We didn't tell ANYONE, which was family and friends until close to 4 months, around 3 1/2 months. We just found out the sex not too long ago and we are at 5 months. I will do a quick announcement on facebook as well for anyone that already don't know. I haven't been on it ages and go on every few months so I'm sure most of the people on my page don't know I'm pregnant. I'm pretty superstitious so wanted to make sure EVERYTHING was fine before posting it on the internet and stuff. I'm sure I have extended family that don't know yet lol.
@TheFutureMcBride: I hope that you have a healthy pregnancy. Ohhhhhhh now u have brought up another question. I guess I'll post about whether to find the gender out or not later lol
We told our families right away, and waited 12 weeks to tell anybody else. I miscarried during my first pregnancy, and we had done this then too. I felt like our families needed to know during the first trimester b/c I wasn't feeling well most of the time, and I wanted to wait for everyone else in case something happened.
We didn't tell anyone in our family till after 13 weeks.
I waited till 16 weeks to tell my office - I would have waited longer but people were going to be gone during the holidays and I was worried about coming back and "showing" before "telling".
I still have yet to post anything on Facebook. I figure people who know me well, already know.
We told my parents at 5 weeks b/c I work with them
A very close friend who is only 2 weeks ahead of me knows b/c we are close like that and she told me about them.
We're not telling my grandparents until 12 weeks.
His parents and other friends get to find out when we get home from a trip somewhere around 16 weeks.
My fiancee and I have decided we will tell everyone at the beginning of the second trimester. We've had a lot of friends and family have trouble getting pregnant and having miscarriages, so we feel this will give us enough time to make sure everything is good. Also I'm a very private person and I cannot imagine having to tell anyone we lost the baby and so I don't want to tell anyone early because of that. I suppose my view is warped from the miscarriages I've been around though.
We told our parents/immediate family around 8 weeeks and started telling other people like friends closer to the 12 week mark.
I'd like to avoid telling everyone until we hit the 12 week mark. I have one very close friend who I'll tell. She just had a baby so I need SOMEONE to talk to. I have told DH i want to avoid telling my parents and his family, too....my mom is very overwhelming and they were sort of unsympathetic when DH got deployed and told me to "get over it". So i can't see them being very sympathetic if something were to happen to the fetus. And I don't think his family can keep a good secret. I don't know how I'll react, either, but I'm a private mourner and I already know that. I don't want too many people up in my business. All the women in his family have announced before the first trimester so they probably will think I'm a freak
I told my family around 7 weeks, it was my mom's birthday and we were down visiting and wouldn't be back for awhile. When we walked in before we announced (which was in a gift to my mom) my grandmother and grandfather kept saying they thought we were carrying a bassinet with us (it was a laundry basket we had stuck a bunch of stuff in) and KEPT repeating it and saying they saw a baby with us so I just gave my mom the present right away.
After we saw the heartbeat on the ultrasound (around 9 weeks) I think my husband would have exploded or just told people in secret so we told close friends and coworkers - by this point several people already had guessed or had dreams or weird stuff like that,
I apparently glow or emit pregnancy rays cause I hadn't really gained weight at that point since people just kept guessing or having weird psychic visions.
I put something up on facebook right before we had the 20 week ultrasound for people to guess the sex.
I am 9 weeks and we have told immediate famiy and close friends- the people who would find out anyway if I did end up losing the baby.
I told my family right when I found out, because they knew we'd been trying. We told his soon after, and he went nuts telling all his friends. This was when things were really early, at about 4 weeks. I put it on Facebook after we saw our ultrasound at 8 weeks. But, I'm also really picky about who I'm friends with on Facebook, it's mostly people I see/talk to regularly (I never feel bad about "ignoring" requests), so I didn't want the ones who hadn't known yet to hear it from someone else, or see a post someone wrote on my wall and get upset. I'm glad we let people know early, so they're not offended when I turn down invitations because I'm too tired or queasy to go out (or they're going someplace smoky to drink). It's really more of a personal decision, I've had a lot of people announce as soon as they know, and others who like to wait a bit to make sure things are going ok.
i think i'd try to wait until the first trimester was over to tell anyone...but if it came up before hand i'd tell. like, my sil told my hubby and i when she was around 7 or 8 weeks ish bc we were staying at their house for a weekend and she was having really bad morning sickness so we'd figure it out anyway ;)
My mom and best friend around 6 weeks. My boss shortly after. My bro around 8 weeks because it was Christmas and we were at his place.
Interestingly we didn't tell anyone on my husbands side until 12 weeks. They all have big mouths! (his cousin did find out at around 8 weeks - Christmas because we spent the night there and I was really sick - that and the ginger tea tipped her off - they kept the secret though)
We told our inner circle individually before the mass announcement at around 13 weeks.
Uh..I pretty much told everyone the second after I took my pregnancy test. lol.
@flamingred: Your response was priceless!! LOL
I am thinking tht if I'm sick I wouldn't be able to hide it very long.
i hate being told about a pregnancy if its before 12 weeks - i really dont want to know because 1, for the what ifs and 2, it makes the pregnancy soooo much longer!
my nephews wife told everyone at 5 weeks and already it seems like the worlds longest pregnancy
i am torn on this - i would want to tell close family and close friends right away. i understand the risk of miscarriage, but at the same, if (god forbid), i had a miscarriage, i would want some support from those closest to me...
@andy113: Yeah, that's how I feel. So, I think I'd want to tell immediate family for sure ASAP.
@PrncssDva: not pregnant yet but we will be trying next year after the wedding... the goal is to wait until after the first trimester before we tell anyone but I am sure my mom will be able to LOOK at me and tell that I am pregnant.....lol... we are SUPER close so I just know she will find out or notice a difference in me..
@trulyblessed: Same thing with my mom, so I know that I have to tell her ASAP lol
i'd tell certain family right away, but def. wait until after 3 months to tell everyone else.
im 7 weeks pregnant, we havent tell anyone. i will do it at 3 months of pregnancy or a little after
We aren't trying yet, but when we do we would like to wait to tell everyone until after 12-14 weeks just because we'd like to have the time alone to get used to it and in case of complications. However, if I get really sick I am sure I would tell my mum, his dad (lives with us) and sister-in-law since I see them most.
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