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So as I was running (trying to get in shape for the wedding) today I was thinking about how FI proposed to me (thinking wedding stuff keeps me motivated to keep running). We got engaged at my family's lake house because that was the first place we said I love you to each other.
The first time I took him up there was so special and we had such an amazing weekend together. I remember talking to my friend the week before and telling her how I loved him and I knew it but I was afraid to be the first to say it. Everything was so perfect while we were up there that I just came out and said it, like I couldn't hold it in anymore. He responded with I love you too which then prompted the whole conversation of are you saying it because you mean it or because I said it. We'd only been dating for a couple months at the time.
So, how long were you dating before you said I love you? Did you say it first or did he? Were you nervous or scared about the reaction to the L word?
2 days. He said it first, I said it right back. I don't really see why people are so afraid of it or wait so long to say it...
It was 6 months before he told me and I did not want to go first because I feared his response. (Come to find out later he was SCARED to death) The night we finally said it, I actually had to nudge him along gently by letting him know that thats really the way I felt, and once he knew I loved him, he was completely OK with finally telling me. He has gone out of his way to show me and tell me every single day since.
Oh geeze... we weren't dating long at all..... I mean maybe a couple of weeks. Mind you we had been very close friends for years before dating so the "getting to know each other" stage was already passed... and within a mth of us starting to date we were engaged. lol
I technically said it first b/c he made me! grrrr... lol I SOOOOOOOOO didn't want to say it first, I was determined to wait it out for however long necessary for him to be the first to spill it. BUT we talked alot via video chat b/c of conflicting schedules and my LO... and one night he totally put me in a corner (don't remember what he said exactly) and it was ALL OVER MY FACE and he pretty much pryed it out of me. We laugh about it now and he said he only did that b/c he'd loved me since before we even dated and he wanted to make sure I felt the same way..... still grrrrr. lol
Really though.. I think it was great! =)
Well we met at a cabin party on this island on the river by 3 mile island... it's so pretty there. We decided to go back 1 month later to the day with some friends and we were swimming in the river- he was holding me and I asked what he was thinking because he was quiet. He said "not really much of anything" so I asked him to tell me a secret and he said "I love you" it was too cute. So 1 month to the day for us.
I was fairly drunk and said it in French one night about a month in. He knows just enough French to understand what I said and looked at me like I had three heads. We went about the evening like nothing happened after that. The next day I told him I meant it. He said he was relieved and said it back. He wasn't sure if I was just babbling in French the night before. I tend to do that when I've been drinking.
3 days after we met. He said he loved me and then freaked out cause it was early. I told him it was okay because I loved him too. =)
I think it was about 4 or 5 months for us. The same night we said I love you was our first kiss too!! It was really special! :)
@flutterbi: We were in his parent's basement watching a movie. i cracked a joke and he said "you're so funny, I love you." And I said "You love me?" his reply was "Yes. I love you. There I said it."
It was so cute and he was so determined not to say it too soon. I guess it must have slipped.
It must have been like a few weeks after he starting dating.
And the rest is history.
It was 2 months after we met. He went away for a football game and was gone fpr a few days. On the 2nd day gone we were about to hang up and I said "Ok, goodbye, I love you"... Holy Crap I thought.. "Did I just say that?" "I hope he didn't hear me". When he came back he told me "I heard what you said and I love you too". Whew!!!
I never wanted to be the first to say I love you tp anyone after I heard a friend of mine telling me of the time a girl told him she loved him and he didn't feel the same way and he replied.. "Thats nice". WTF??? For that very reason I never wanted to be the first.
I'm so enjoying everyone's stories. They are so sweet and some funny. It's funny how it's such a big deal the first time (for many) and now it's just a part of conversation. I don't think a day goes by that I don't tell my FI I love him. I still smile everytime he says it to me.
Aw, everyone's stories are so sweet!
Well, we talked for about 2 months or so before we started dating. Then when we started dating it was 3 days when he first told me he loved me. We was on the phone & he knew I was on myspace. I refreshed my home page & it said I had a new comment. Looked at the comment & it was from my hubby (then boyfriend) saying "I love you!" & I said it back in a comment, also. Been saying it everyday since then & meaning it! :-) That was in December 2006. <3
this is so embarrassing but it took us over a year!!!! i think i may have won some kind of contest here for the longest amount of time it took! and I mean a year from when we first got together as a couple, because we knew each other before then! we had actually moved in together before we said it, OMG, i realise now how insane that is but that is what happened!
we're both not very good at saying it, and we both come from families where our parents have literally never told us they love us. I know that our parents do love us, we just haven't been brought up to say it all the time. So sometimes we make a massive effort to be sure to say it because it's still not something that we say every day! Or even every week! I'm really working on it though, I want to say it to my future kids every single day.
i sound like a total freak now, sorry! lol!
I was trying really hard not to say "I love you" before he did and he said it after two months.
We'd been at a party a couple of hours from his house and had had a HUGE fight (one of the few we've ever had) before driving home when we were both so tired that we were almost passing out (NOT FUN). We got home and I was still kinda mad at him but we were curled up in his bunk bed (yes, he really had bunk beds when we got together... at 25!) and he said "But you know I love you?" to which I responded, "No, I didn't..." It took me a few minutes to say it back to him as I really wasn't expecting it.
About 5 months after we started dating. Possibly 6. We both KNEW for awhile, but neither of us wanted to say it in fear we felt we would be "rushing". I would tell my friends and stuff that I was in love with him and such. I knew it was real.
He had stayed over one night and got up early to drive to work (we were LDR at this point). I wanted to say it as he was walking out the door, but I chickened out. Being the lame ass that I am, I texted him "I love you". He told me to take it back and to wait to say it in person (hahaha). He also told me that he wanted to say it to me that morning as well but figured I wasn't fully awake. He said he wanted me to be alert and hear it clearly/be special. :) So, I kind of ruined the special part, but I love the fact that the both of us wanted to say it that morning.
Right before we started dating. We had known each other for about 3 years at that point and during those three years I had watched him go through horrible relationships, one right after another. I had some very very strong feelings for him that just would not go away and I knew he had feelings for me too but he would never tell me and wouldn't date me. (I found out later once we had started dating that he had had feelings for quite some time but he really didn't want to screw things up with me by dating me. He was sure he wasn't good enough and that our relationship would fail.) Finally, when he was about to get back in another horrible relationship, I told him that I couldn't take it anymore, and that it would completely freak him out and he'd probably never want to speak to me again, but that I loved him and I just couldn't watch him be in such a horrible relationship again. And VERY much to my suprise, he stopped going after the horrible relationship, and started dating me instead. I guess I had finally given him the hope that this could work. A year and a half later, we're engaged and planning our wedding. :D
Over 1 year. But looking back, I wouldn't have had it any other way :)
Three months. He said it first. I didn't say it right back because I was very surprised. I think I may have even said, "thank you" I said it to him a week later.
About a month in, he said it to me, but I didn't say anything back.
About a week after that I said it back.
We met studying abroad and had been placed as roommates in the same apartment (my fiance, me, and 4 other girls!) and started dating after 4 days, so our relationship moved pretty fast. After another few days, we were out at a bar and he got a little tipsy. I could tell he was really thinking about something, then leaned over and whispered in my ear, "I think I'm in love with you". It was very very cute :)
I think about 6 months. We had come close to saying it many times, saying "I really really really like you a lot," but one time he finally said "I think I love you" and I said "I think I love you too." It was so cute!
@londongal: lol no worries, us too! well... me too!
So my husband actually said it after like 5 weeks... which seemed REALLY fast to me. We were both fresh out of super serious relationships and I wasn't trying to fall in love with this guy... ya know? Plus I'd been hurt, was being careful... whatever. So I basically said that was nice but I didn't plan on saying "I love you" again to anyone until I was pretty damn sure that this was someone I could spend my life with. So in the end I didn't say it until around a year. Which was kind of awkward truth be told haha. But I just didn't want to throw that word around because I "really really liked" someone and/or say it and then get hurt again. I wanted to know for absolute sure it was true love and that we were going to last.
My now FI said it first at around 2.5 months. He alluded that he wanted to say it around the 1 month mark, but didn't want to freak me out so he waited (which it totally would have). I was ready to reciprocate when he finally did tell me.
@flutterbi: We also got engaged at the same spot (Santa Monica beach) where we first said I love you!
I waited a whole deployment to hear it! He always implied it in our letters/emails but he wanted to make sure he said it in person first. He's so darn cute.
I had been thinking it for a while but was too scared to say it. We hadn't been dating that long, maybe a few weeks or a month, and he said he was going to make a list of all of the things he loved about me. At the end of telling me them he said "Well, there's been something I've been meaning to tell you but I just don't know how to say it. Courtney, I love you!" I think I might've cried.
A year and a half. Haha, yep. That might be a world record.
I was a huge committment-phobe and he knew it. He didn't want to say it first because he thought he would scare me away. So he waited and waited and waited for me to say it first. Finally, On New Year's, when I was bombed out of my mind I finally said it. "I love you."
The next morning he asked if I remembered what I said to him last night. (hehe, I was pretty drunk!) I tried to shrug it off because I was pretty embarrassed by the way the whole thing went down. He said, "Well.. it's okay if you don't want to talk about it, I just want you to know that I feel the same way too."
D'Awwwwwww!!!
Oh geez...It took us a whopping 7 years to drop the L-word to each other. I'd been in a few relationships where it was tossed out within the first month or so and they didn't turn out so well...so, when I met FH I was determined not to say it until I was sure I meant it. And then I guess things were just going so well we were both afraid to jinx it so it never came up.
But then, one day two years ago we were going through a topsy-turvy time and that's when he told me he loved me. Looking back, it seems silly that we never said the words to each other - not that we didn't show it in other ways. But it also made it super special that first time - especially since it came at a time when things weren't so great - that I knew he truly meant it.
oh that's a relief!! thanks ladies, good to know it's not just us. And it was for the exact same reasons too, in so many previous relationships it had been said before we really truly knew each other or whatever, and I really didn't want to say it until i knew that I meant it with all my heart. But then by that time it had become an awkward thing to say! so then I thought well I'll wait until he says it, but of course then if i had done that i'd be 80, sat there with our great grandchildren and we STILL wouldn't have said it!! so it was really soon after we moved in together, I had been worried that maybe living together wouldn't work but it was fantastic living with him (still is!) and i loved waking up next to him every single day so one morning i just said it. love's young dream, eh? ha ha!
@londongal: glad you feel better about it :) I think the way each couple handles "the l word" is just really personal to them. with my ex we said it way too much imo. It was basically a place holder when we had nothing else to say to each other (which um, was a lot). so we'd say it like 10 times during a 20 minute phone call. "so uh...... love you./love you too. uh..." haha. Then I had a roommate who was with his gf for like 4 years and he said they almost never said it because they thought saying it too much devauled it. they only said it when they were so overcome with the emotion, not just on a normal happy day. i think we're kind of a happy middle now. It isn't RARE for us to say it... but i think we both make an effort to only say it when we really truly mean it and are thinking about it at that moment. Not just "love ya babe!" Meh.. you gotta do what works for you :)
FI said it less than a week into our relationship. I was terrified to say it back so I made him sweat that evening and said it when he left to go home.
I said it at about the one month mark and he replied with "Thank You". Epic fail. LOL. He ended up saying it to me about 3 weeks later when he asked me to move in with him. Yep it was fast with DH. My relationship prior to that it took about a year or so. I've only said it once without meaning it.
We said it like a week after we started dating lol. He said it and I didn't say anything (I've never really been in love before). He knew what I was thinking and let me know it was okay to feel that way. Then he tickled the crap outta me until I told him the truth about how I felt lol. He recently told me that he wasn't going to say it until after 6 months of dating, but he couldn't hold it in anymore!
Oh!! *face palm*
And I too have said it once without meaning it to an ex. I didn't love him in the three years we were together. Well maybe a friendly kind of love but thats it.
DH said it to me about 2 months into dating. And I immeadiately said it back.
I'd wanted to say it for a couple of weeks but was afraid I'd scare DH by saying it too quickly so I made myself hold off.
No, we have the record ;-) (at least he does). I waited until after nine months. And he waited until after SIXTEEN MONTHS! This is after two vacations together, and countless dates. Sixteen freaking months! I still cant believe I stuck around. The truth is, I cried when he didn't say it back the first night. After that, I put it in a box in my heart somewhere. You know why? Because I felt loved. In my heart, I believed that there wasn't a possibility that he didn't love me back. On some level, I forgot about it because I was that happy.
Then, one day when we were snuggling and being lovey dovey, and I jokingly told him that I was going run away somewhere. He said "I will follow you." I asked him "Why would you follow me, stalker?" This is being said between tickles and laughs, and then he became deadly serious. "Because I love you." My heart melted. I still remember how I felt that day. It was glorious and wonderful. I know he had to mean it, and I am so happy that I didn't push him into saying it, because I would have always wondered if he felt obligated to say it. That kind of reassurance is amazing. I didn't respond for five full seconds, and I finally said "It's about time you said it." Which is so like me and us. We are serious, and then we tease.
I had not said the "L" word since that first time in our relationship when he didn't reciprocate. Then, on April 16th 2007, after a Mother Theresa like patience, I said it back. He has not made me doubt his love for one second since then, and more than four years later, he is the most amazing man. I am so glad I didn't give up on him!
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