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@alli: my husband and i dont start tcc till January so i dont have an answer personally but i wanted to bump this for you and i know there have been similar threads in the past.
my knowledge is that if you are under 35 up to a year is normal but if you are over 35 you are only supposed to give it 6 months because you have less time. i also have 3 pregs friends one was month 3, one was an instant accidental pregnancy and the other took 8 months. all three are healthy. good luck!
@alli: The jealousy is hard. Speaking from personal experience (we've been TTC for nearly a year now) I get a kick in the guts everytime someone announces a pregnancy - but at the same time, I'm genuinely happy for them. It's horrible, feeling happy but also stabby at the same time. Anyway, we're still going... fingers crossed 2012 will be lucky for us. :)
I second Jaguar. You can't control the jealousy, you're happy and yet feel floored at the same time. Three different people announced their pregnancies to me this week, that was on Monday and Tuesday alone!!!
As for how long did it take: 2 months for BFP which ended in miscarriage, now it is 3 months later and we're still trying.
10 months, then a miscarriage. I totally get the jealousy
@jaguar: I get a kick in the guts everytime someone announces a pregnancy - but at the same time, I'm genuinely happy for them. This is pretty much how I am. A neighbor is pregnant with her 4th, and due the same day we would have been due had I not lost the pregnancy. I cried when I heard, but gave her a very sincere congratulations when I saw her next.
Ugh- I almost didn't want to respond to this because I don't want to make you feel any worse- but I think you posted this to get a variety of honest responses- so here goes: I got pregnant on the first try for each of my pregnancies. The first at 25 years old, the second at 33. I am super lucky and blessed- I know. My best friend didn't get pregnant for 8 months and it about drove her nuts. I know she felt something must be wrong with her, but nothing was wrong at all and now she has two little boys. But I know she did have jealousy that a lot of her friends had it come so easily to them. I wish all of you good luck!
I'm dealing with the jealousy and everyone around me pregnant too. We're entering month 4 of trying. I hate feeling like I'm broken or not normal for not being pregnant right away. This is the first cycle that I'm really going to chart to see if I do that right and can absolutely hit ovulation at the right time. I'm also on baby blanket strike. I refuse to make baby blankets right now because it hurts too much. I'm also refocusing my energies on tasks needing to be done than TTC.
I am not currently TTC, we're waiting until June. However, I have been helping my BFF with charting for TTC. She's been trying for 3 years and just got her BFP last week. It was so exciting!! I know it's been very hard for her and she has expressed the same feelings of being very excited for her friends, coworkers and cousins who have all gotten their BFP in the last few years, but she also met the news with tears first.
Isn't it funny that it was always shoved down our throat to take our BC and get excited when AF comes? It always made you think that if you are looked at the wrong way, you will get knocked up- but TTC is actually really hard! I think that's where a lot of pressure comes in. It helped once I learned about FAM and my body a little more and realized that even if you do everything PERFECT, you still only have a 25% chance of makin' a baby each cycle. Cray cray.
Hang in there :)
I'm really sorry it is taking you and your husband longer than you wish.
Unfortunately there's no magic formula. Some get lucky on the first try after YEARS on BCP. Some it happens in a few months. Others have known issues and take over a year. Others have no known issues and take over a year.
I don't have any words of advice on how not to feel jealousy. I was definitely guilty of it. My gut reaction was jealousy then pure happiness for my friends and family.
It took my husband and I 9 cycles. All I can promise is it's well worth it at the end!
Sorry you are feeling this way, TTC is just so random isn't it? We got KU on our first try but it took my sister 1 year of trying before it happened. There just isn't any telling how it is going to go which I guess makes it really maddening. The powerlessness and lack of control is extremely humbling.
Wish I could answer that myself. I'm on 18 mos of trying and still jealous of everybody who gets pregnant since it just ain't happening for us. It truly is the most difficult thing I've ever dealt with and I hope it doesn't take much longer.
Thank goodness for WB because otherwise I wouldn't have know how normal it is to feel so jealous of other pg women while TTC! We are on Cycle 6 and I still get very jealous of my pg coworkers, but I'm working on focusing on the positive. Some days it works, some days it fails...
We’ve been trying since June so we're coming up on month 7. I've gotten pregnant twice in that amount of time though, unfortunately both ended in pretty early miscarriages.
It's a really rough process and I struggle with the jealousy issue a lot. Sometimes what's even harder is the guilt that you feel for feeling that jealousy in the first place. What's helped me is consciously remembering to separate myself from other people's TTC, pregnancy. If someone I know is successful in getting pregnant that does not in any way mean that I won't be. So I try to be happy for them but it's definitely a daily struggle.
This -----> It's a really rough process and I struggle with the jealousy issue a lot. Sometimes what's even harder is the guilt that you feel for feeling that jealousy in the first place. What's helped me is consciously remembering to separate myself from other people's TTC, pregnancy. If someone I know is successful in getting pregnant that does not in any way mean that I won't be. So I try to be happy for them but it's definitely a daily struggle.
Thank you for putting that into words so perfectly, Elley.
We've been TTC for 2 years and are still waiting!! I hate that I get jealous but I do....especially for those that aren't trying or just start trying and get pg right away:( It just sucks, but you just got to keep going and hope your time is coming!!
Just chiming in again to give a big *hug* to everyone who's contributed here and is still waiting. (And to all of the gracious mums & mums-to-be, too) - love you guys, sending lots of good wishes your way.
We got pregnant on our first try also. My heart breaks for those who have been TTC with no success or miscarriage :( :(
We tried for 8 months and had an early miscarriage before I got a sticky BFP (just entered my second trimester). It was really hard at times - my old posts will show I had some pretty blue days and it was hard to stay positive. The only thing to do is keep on truckin, treating yourself well, and nurturing your relationship with your husband. Good luck!
It's just plain hard to see others around you getting pregnant when all you want is a baby. Sometimes the TTC process can make you feel so out of control, since there's nothing you can really do except for keep trying and keep hoping. We personally got pregnant on cycle #3, which wasn't bad at all... yet during those 3 months it was hard to not already get frustrated, since we just had no idea at all how long it would take.
I think that the jealousy is normal when you are TTC and it hasn't happened yet. I have been in the same situation. You find out a friend or co-worker is pregnant and you are happy for them, but at the same time ask why not me?
As far as how long it took to get pregnant for us. The first time it took 5 months, but we lost the baby at 7 weeks. The doctor then told us to wait 3-4 months, and the first month we tried again I got pregnant right away. I think it happened so fast because by that time I really knew my cycle and when everything was happening.
@Lala61111 Your comment on how you are taught that getting pregnant is so true. They scare you in health class at school that if you have sex you WILL get pregnant and make it sound so easy. Then, you start TTC and learn it is not as easy as you've been taught. I believe this is where a lot of the pressure comes from too because so many women are feeling like failures for not getting pregnant right away, when that is simply not the case.
I got pregnant on my 12th cycle of ttc. 12 very long and painful months.
I dunno guys. There is a person that I work with who was pregnant the same time I was and announced it just last week... I should have been cursing at her especially because she is a bi*** sometimes, but I wasn't. I knew she had a hard time trying and so I was happy for her. I don't feel jealous, but I could do without the stress of having a miscarriage and seeing the baby in that form.
We are on cycle 17. Not fun, but hey, you just can't make it happen. We just keep hoping and waiting..
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My husband and I have been trying for a few months and in the meantime I know of 10 other women around me who are in varying stages of pregnancy. I get super jealous of them all while I am playing the waiting game. How long did it take you to get pregnant and how can I handle this jealousy?