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I got engaged over the weekend (thanks again to all who congratulated us!) and I was curious how long you waited after getting engaged to start the planning process.
FI and I have decided that for the holidays (mainly our xmas party were hosting tonight for friends and xmas day with his parents, brothers & my parents) we have decided that we will just be telling them that we are thinking about a Spring 2011 wedding. We want some time to enjoy the engagement before starting to plan anything although it would be a great time to figure out a budget with the parents.
What did you all do? How long did you wait to get things started?
I was engaged in September 2008 and shortly after started some light planning, but nothing serious...like looking online at dresses and potential locations. We didn't book our venue until June this year, so no serious planning really happened until then.
Well we got engaged at the end of October and decided to have the wedding in July. So we had to start planning pretty quick. The biggest thing was finding a venue and getting it booked. Once that was done, I felt a lot better. Next we booked the DJ, then the photographer. Now it's just little things like booking an officiant, finding someone to make the cake, etc... But we started right away because we only had 9 months to plan.
If you're waiting until 2011, I'd say you have lots of time. But I would get on looking for a venue at least. Then the biggest part is done.
We were on vacation at the time, so we had some general discussions just for fun (big or small, what elements are most important to you, etc). Afterwards, he was spending a couple of weeks with his family and I with mine, and then we moved into our new apartment together and started new jobs. So not too much time to talk weddings. Once we were settled in (a couple of months after the engagement), we started planning for real.
Congratulations!
We got engaged in April, and just found our venue this past weekend. However, FI works out of state over the summer, so we just started looking in September.
i think we waited a week. at first we wanted time to just be happy and engaged, but all those questions of "when's the date?!" got so annoying so fast, and i really wanted to get the big things taken care of (i'm very type a), so after a week i was ready to start.
It will be exactly 2.4 seconds after we get engaged that we'll start planning. 5 month engagement = GO GO GO!!! I wish we had more time, but we definintely don't.
@KMSull - that's exactly how it was for us. Although we're having a longer engagement. I figure I waited 36 years to find him as soon as he asked I was planning...at least in my head!
Ummm a few hours? Haha. Within 2 weeks we had a date, a venue, and a photographer!! And what makes that even more insane is that we were 22 months out at that point.
We started planning before the official proposal - we had the dat, the venue and the photog booked and so after the official proposal we took a break from planning to enjoy the engagement - I think we went 2 weeks before starting planning again.
We got engaged on NYE 2007/2008, and didn't even pick a date until 5 months later. Then, we started actual planning in... September, I think... so we didn't do any planning until 9 months after the engagement (7 months before the wedding). :) We took a long time to enjoy the engagement before we started any wedding planning.
I waited a year. We were broke so the idea of picking out 60/head catering packages when we were eating rice a roni was unsavory. Our financial situation improved drastically after about six months into the engagement and from there we started to set a date.
We waited until we were about a year out. We found that it was hard to book vendors before that time.
I got engaged and got my dress two weeks later! I know crazy! We picked a venue and I was my own wedding planner. I had everything done within months! We got married 9 months later. People say I should change careers and be a wedding planner. haha
We jumped right in. We got engaged in January and had the venue booked by the end of February. We figured out budget and colors and date within the first week.
We've been engaged for 7 months now, and have yet to book a venue. I did buy my dress last week, though :)
I'm a huge procrastinator in general, and for a while, just thinking about wedding planning would give me a panic attack. I'm glad we took the time (intentional or not) to just enjoy the engagement, and sometimes wish it could be a bit longer. But I'm also ready for things to start falling into places. Hoping to have something booked early next month
@MariaNYC this makes me a little scared for you and your FI! A June Wedding in NYC without having your venue yet? Maybe I'm crazy for thinking you might want to get on that bit asap!
So you're not supposed to be secretly planning in the months before the engagement? oops! We jumped right in because we had already talked about a few things and we wanted to jump on venues right away.
About 2 weeks - The first week I didn't tell anyone because we were going to see much of my family the next week so I wanted to tell them in person. Then the next weekend his family met my family and then it was a whirlwind (but we were only engaged 4-1/2 months)
@ snake: Thanks for your concern!! When we first got engaged, everyone was saying how we MUST book at least 12 months in advance, but ah well, like I said, procrastinator here!
Anyway, I think I/we are finally done looking at places (well, FI still has to see my top pick, but he works too much and we are going on vacay on Weds, so it'll have to wait till "next year"), and our top choices do have availability in June. We were orinally set on Saturday, but the last place I saw was amazing, and way too expensive on Saturday, so we have now switched to a Friday event. Actually, what I discovered with a few venues is that the dates available in June are now discounted to July/Aug rates (off-season in Manhattan) because it is relatively short term. So perhaps this will be the case where procrastination has paid off, haha! Maybe I should be getting more concerned, but I just have a feeling that everything will work out in the end, and I refuse to get stressed out about it :)
We had the photographer and venue done within a month, and trickled in everything else for the next 2 - 3 months. We purposefully held off bookng everything immediately because we had a year and a half and I'm enjoying it so much!
Started almost right away. But I go through lulls where I won't do anything for 2 months and then start up again. We have most stuff covered. Venue, Photographer, DJ. I'm just missing Hair/Makeup, Video, invites and STD im doing myself and I think thats it as far as vendors go. :)
We were planning even before we got engaged. We had even started looking at venues.
Lambster and I wanted to wait for a month. We really wanted to enjoy just being engaged. I got about 3 weeks because the first visit I made home I ended up buying a dress and starting venue conversations.
I think I had started planning about 3 months before the engagement 
"Officially" we got the ball rolling shortly after the engagement - I had my dress ordered less than a month later.
We picked our venue about 2 weeks later then waited like 6 months and chose all our vendors and now I've been doing nothing for 6 months. Oh, I chose my Bmaid dresses.
Other than deciding on the season and year for the wedding and where we wanted to have it (destination, not venue), we didn't plan anything for over a year. We got engaged in July and didn't start planning until September of the following year. Then again, we had a long engagement and were engaged for over 2 years by the time we got married.
We thought that we were going to get married at one place, so our look-see at that location was about 2 months after we got engaged. When that didn't pan out, we looked elsewhere. So we had a venue about 7 months before our wedding. I didn't book anything else until we had our venue though.
@MariaNYC - I think it definitely pays off to book last minute, though it's a bit counterintuitive. We wanted to get married in April 2011, but we got a MUCH better deal for next Labor Day weekend just because it's sooner.
@ snake - I think the venue is a good place to start because it'll determine a bunch of your other choices. Or, you might just want to start with what is most fun for you to dip your toes in the water before the heavy duty planning. I made save the dates before anything else, just because I couldn't wait to start playing around with photoshop and designing stationery.
i had every intention of waiting and enjoying being engaged, and then we decided on February... which meant things got kicked into high gear, and fast!
"...when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." - when harry met sally
I started planning within a week after the egnagement. we knew we were getting married that coming summer and I only had 8 months so I didn't want to waste any time!
I might be slightly obsessive, but I had lined up the venues and bought my dress in the first week. In retrospect, that was a good thing because FI's family can't plan for more than a day ahead so the rest of the planning has been frustrating.
Congrats! We got engaged in November. I immediately started looking for ideas and inspiration, but we have yet to start any serious planning. I did go dress shopping for the first time yesterday! Everything else will probably have to wait until after the holidays.
Just enjoy the holidays with family, friends, and of course your new fiance :)
About 12 hours. And shamefully, for about 6 of those hours I was asleep. But I couldn't wait to get started. It was more a gathering of ideas than actual planning.
Man, now I feel a bit bad for not "taking time" to be engaged. I guess I figured being engaged = planning a wedding!
We got engaged on Saturday night and talked about dates on Sunday. I had the church booked with a date by the next weekend. Our engagement will only be about 10 months and we had a two month window when our schedules could handle a wedding, so it seemed like a good idea to get that nailed down! I think having a true date makes it all the more real, too, making it easier to "enjoy being engaged." Heck, how could you not enjoy it?
Oh man, we are bad....haha I started planning before we were engaged! :) We had been talking about the engagement beforehand, and we were determining dates/timing on how long our engagement should be...etc....so I went ahead and armed myself with a plethora of wedding mags and planning materials...and shopped for a dress (GASP! I know...holy crap)...I'm probably abnormal though!
I was a tad bit over eager and started planning before we got engaged!
we got engaged at the end of aug 2009 and i didn't even start ANY planning until late september... and that was just beginning to browse a couple websites.
i bought my dress, picked out BM dresses in October
booked our venue, officiant, and church in November
but, i haven't been able to do much since... besides research and getting things ready... we haven't booked other vendors yet.
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