Post # 1
I’m 29 and FI is 39. FI wants to have kids right after getting married and we’re eloping, so that can be literally a week or couple of months from now. I want to have 3 kids and I’m in no position no wait too long to have kids, especially FI. He has major baby fever lol. But I also want to enjoy being newlyweds without being pregnant right from the start.
How long did you wait to start having kids when you got married? How old were you guys and did it work out or did you wish you spend more time as kids-free newlyweds?
Post # 3
@Silly_love: I am 25 and DH is 28 and we waited until a year to start trying. We will have our first in April. I can’t say how this works out for us becuase our baby isn’t born yet, but I have more peace of mind knowing that we accomplished some of the goals we were working towards after marriage like a house and getting a dog. A baby felt like the right thing to bring into our lives.
Post # 4
We found out I was pregnant the day after we got married, so we obviously didn’t wait. I don’t regret it. We had years with just the two of us. I don’t feel like we missed out on anything.
Post # 5
If you’re really ready and not just being pressured by age, then go for it! I’m 28 and my husband is 38 so we don’t want to wait too long (though we only want 2 max!). We’ve been together for 5 years and lived together for the majority of it, so we don’t feel like we need years of being married before TTC. We own two houses, have a dog, etc so there’s not much to “settle into” since we got married. Everyone is different, so just do what works for you!
Post # 6
@Silly_love: I had a kid first, then I got married LOL
My son has a different father.
BUT- now that we are married (he’s 34, almost 35, I’m 33) we wanted to wait about a year. But I might have a harder time getting pregnant than we thought after a few DR’s visits, so while we are not actively trying right now, we’re not NOT trying, if that makes sense.
If you guys want three kids, might as well get started LOL
Post # 7
I am coming at this from a different perspective: but if I could do it all over again, I’d probably started trying before we got married…and even then I have not been trying *that* long.
We were married for less than 3 months when we started trying. I’m now closing in on my NINTH cycle with not even a whiff of a BFP. There are many, many women who do get lucky and conceive in the first cycle. Neither my husband nor I have any problems we know of that could be delaying a pregnancy. We’re now looking at scheduling a semen analysis in a month or two, then possibly pursuing other solutions down the road.
I’m in my mid 20s. He just turned 30.
Odds are – on average – it’ll take you 4 to 6 months to get pregnant anyhow (remember, that’s an average – so about half of women are pregnant at that point). The other half is waiting…and waiting…and waiting…
We also lived together for 2 years before we were married – so that also plays a role in our decision to get right to it. But by the time I actually get pregnant and have a kid, it’ll look like we waited a good while.
I’m sure once I finally have a kid that I’ll have a different perspective on this whole thing – but if you want multiple kids, I say get on it now. There are no guarantees I’ll be trying nearly a year for my next kid – but…taking 3 years to get pregnant with, say, 3 kids, is a lot of lost time, and it’s something to consider when planning out your family.
If we hadn’t lived together first, I still would have been content with 3 – 6 months of living together and being newlyweds before TTC. A few months of adjustment was all I needed when we started living together.
Fertility starts declining at 27, then more sharply at 30, then starts falling rapidly at 35, then nosedives after 40.
Experiencing what I’ve now experienced, I wish we had started a few months before we got married.
Post # 8
We’ll be 23 and 24 when we get married, so I think we’re going to wait 3 or so years before “not trying not preventing” and start trying-trying sometime after that.
Post # 9
@Silly_love: If you are eloping, I don’t see the big need of much newlywed time. I always wanted to be at least one year as a married couple before having kids. We decided a long time ago, we wanted to wait more like 2-3 years, and I was fine with it. We have been married for over two years and we are ready to start trying for baby #1. We didn’t live together before marriage, so that might be why the longer wait. We have been together for almost 6 years though. I say, if you just want to spend some time alone as a newlywed, go for it. If I was you, I wouldn’t wait too long, maybe 6 months. I am almost 29, so my urge for motherhood is very much present.
Post # 10
@Silly_love: we werr pregnant 2.5 monts after the wedding. I’m 27 he is 34. No regrets even though our little one is still cooking and it wasn’t exactly planned. We had the last 2.5 years to ourself so we don’t feel like we are missing out on anything by not spending more time as newly weds.
Post # 11
@Silly_love: When FI and I are married we will be 26 going on 27. I will be going on my last year of school then so I guess it all depends on that. We will have been together for almost 10 years on our wedding day. We discussed this and decided that we have had plenty of time to be a couple and do couple things so probably as soon as possible afterwards we will start trying. I think if we hadn’t been together for so long before getting married we would definately have wanted to wait to have just US time though.
Post # 12
@Silly_love: We dated for four years before we got married, and lived together about 3 years. We’ve been married a little over two years and I’m 8 weeks pregnant. We got pregnant about a month after our 2nd anniversary but we tried for about 4 months before it happened. I am 32 and my husband is almost 29. We just felt ready for kids and just thought we’d go for it. So far I am happy with our timeline and feel like I won’t miss out on too much. We are excited for this next chapter!
Post # 13
- Wedding: September 2008 - A tiny town just outside of Glacier National Park
We were married just over 5 years ago (Sept 2008), when I was 25 and he was 28. I’m now 31 and he’s 33, and we conceived a week before our 5th wedding anniversary. There were times during our marriage where I was ready and he wasn’t, but ultimately (due to career, life circumstances, and an extended bout of mononucleosis for me) it was great that we waited and had that time together.
Post # 14
@Silly_love: A bit like you, I didn’t want to wait. Unfortunately we are going into our 9th cycle including MC and D&C) so we’ve had lots of time just us!! Chances are, as pp said, you’ll have a few months just you. I try to keep enjoying life and going on holidays in the meantime.
Post # 15
We got together in 2003, lived together 2006, engaged 2010, married June 2012, found out we were pregnant September 2012, had our gorgeous daughter May 2013. It’s been wonderful.
Post # 16
- Wedding: October 2013 - Vine Street Church
I’m going for my pre-conception counseling at the end of next month, but we probably won’t be starting to try until April, which will be six months after our wedding.