How long did your "honeymoon" phase last?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
526 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I don’t know that I ever really had the “honeymoon phase” as my mother describes it to me. Then again, my dad is her first and only relationship, and she was 16 when they met.

I guess we might still be in the honeymoon phase? We do annoy the crap out of each other sometimes, but I think we’re still in the “in love” phase… It’s hard to tell what exactly people mean by the “honeymoon phase”.

Post # 4
Member
1689 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Our honeymoon phase ended about 4 years into our relationship.  We were undergoing a lot of personal changes and challenges.  It put our relationship through a great deal of strife as we struggled to fit each other into our shifting lives.  It did feel like falling out of love at times.  Instead it was just love straining under the duress of change. 

But instead of falling out of love, the struggle we went through matured our love.  It made it better, stronger, and more tensile.  The fiery passion sputtered out, replaced by a slow burn of love and mutual respect.  We’ve been together for 9 years, and I love him more each day than the last. 

Post # 5
Member
3935 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@weddingbee098:   After eight years there are still moments when he will do or say something, and I fall in love all over again.  If that is what you mean by honeymoon, we’re still in it.  🙂  

Post # 6
Member
802 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015 - Backyard Forest

In my mind the honeymoon phase is that time when everything is cute, you can’t focus on anything but your excitement and newness of your relationship and you just can’t keep your hands off of each other. 

For us, those elements are certainly still there in many ways, but it’s not like a constant new and shiny relationship… and I definitely don’t think his snoring is cute anymore 🙂

That lovey gushy, rose-coloured glasses honeymoon phase lasted about 6-7 months

While I really loved those times of our life and relationship, I love what we have now more. 

Post # 7
Member
811 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Probably a standard 6-7 months? That was the time period when he could do no wrong, and we agreed on everything, and you have the overwhelming excitement and hope for this new amazing and “perfect” relationship.

I will say that long term my FI and I slip in and out of “honeymoon phases” within our relationship. Relationships are dynamic like that.

Post # 8
Member
1737 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014 - 13th ~ TN

@Astra:  +1, I agree 100%.

I don’t think there really is a “honeymoon” phase. Every relationship has it’s ups and downs. Sometimes you have to make each other fall in love “again”. Sometimes life just gets in the way and you “forget” that you need to make time for each other.

weddingbee098: After 8 years of an on again/ off again relationship, the last 5 of them being committed I think there are times that we feel like stupid 16 year olds in puppy love and there are times when we wished the other would disappear (at least for a little while). All relationships are what you make of them. It just matters how much time and work you actually want to put in them.

I am assuming that this is kind of a “spinoff” of the post earlier this morning from the bee who thought she was no longer in love after 8 months. I have thought about it several times through out the day and the more I think about how much the term “honeymoon phase” was used in that post it made me wonder how many people actually do just throw it all away because they do not feel that anymore.

 

 

Post # 9
Member
3735 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@weddingbee098:  We are 6 years in and I love him to pieces and vice versa. Yes, he did peek in on me while in the bathroom doing my thing the other day (much to my freaking horror) so in some respects THAT part of the honeymoon is over but otherwise, he’s da bomb.

Post # 10
Member
1648 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2000

We’ve been together for over 7 years and have a baby on the way.  We’re still very much in the honeymoon phase. The spark hasn’t worn off, if anything it seems to grow!

Post # 11
Member
556 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Astra:  +1

We’ve been together 3 years and have had to deal with some very difficult things together, such as infertility. But I feel like we fall deeper in love as time passes.

FWIW I know couples who have been together 40+ years and are still in the “honeymoon” phase if that means they are still head over heels in love with each other.

I actually dislike the term “honeymoon phase” because it implies that love is a finite thing that will inevitably fade and lessen over time. I totally disagree with that.

 

Post # 12
Member
9529 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I have a psychiatrist friend that says everyone is on their good behavior for the first 2 years. And get the really real stuff at 7 years and I totally buy that. I had two previous relationships that lasted just under two years before my husband and I can remember when we went past the two year mark, thinking, Hey, this might actually work! My husband and I will hit 7 years in July, so we’ll see how it goes through the seven year itch!

Post # 13
Member
5192 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@weddingbee098:  For us, 2 years.  

Year one we were in what I call an “accidential long distance relationship” (as in, the relationship sort of materialized despite the fact that we were young students who didn’t really intend to be in an LDR.

Year two we were in what I call a “Semi LDR” since we could only see each other on weekends.  

I think our honeymoon stage lasted a long time (I personally consider more than 1 year to be a long time) since we didn’t get to see each other very often.

For me, the honeymoon stage is where never stop thinking about the other person and you never had a fight.  I’m still very much in love with my DH, but I am not off in la la land.

Post # 14
Member
5192 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@missamysmiles:  +1

You defined honeymoon phase exactly as I would.  I’m surprised to see so many people say they are still in it!  I personally wouldn’t be prepared to marry until that haze has worn off.  I think when you are in that deep you aren’t objective.  It often explains dating guys who you later realize weren’t so great!

Post # 15
Member
1721 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@weddingbee098:  I guess it depends on your definition…but we’re 3 years in and still in our honeymoon phase 🙂

Post # 16
Member
802 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015 - Backyard Forest

@cbgg:  I totally agree! It’s such a fun and memorable time in your relationship – it sets the foundation for it… however I would agree, while I felt I knew he was the one from the beginning, I feel much more solid in our relationship now to make decisions about marriage. 

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