Post # 1
I know a lot about weddings by this point, but there are some things that I am still clueless about, mainly etiquette issues. I need to know how long I have to send out thank you cards? What amount of time do you feel is ideal/acceptable? Also, is it appropriate for me to thank the guest for their shower gift AND for coming to the wedding in the same card, or do I need to send two thank you cards per guest who attended both shower and wedding?
The reason I am asking is because I am starting to feel really embarrassed about not having gotten my cards out yet. Our wedding was exactly one month ago, yesterday. Two weeks after the wedding, about two weeks ago, one of FIL’s friends sent Darling Husband and I a check. I have been holding out on sending my thank you cards because I have been waiting for my pro-pics to come back so I can put one in each envelope. Last weekend, FIL’s friend called him and said, “I haven’t heard a thing out of (me and DH) yet.” This was two weeks after he sent the check!
Now, I don’t know what to do. Should I just go ahead and send them, or should I still wait until early September when I’ll have my pics so I can send one to everybody?
Post # 3
@Pinksapphire: You could wait, and if anyone asks, just say you are waiting for the photos to send them with the note. That is why etiquette used to state you had up to a year, since photos used to take so long to get back to the couple. Now, with digital they come faster.
As for sending bridal shower and wedding notes together: each deserves a separate note.
Post # 4
I would write them all now, so you can send them as soon as you get the photo. But I’ve read that you have a couple months to send them.
Post # 5
You should have done the shower TYs immediately after the shower, but since you didn’t, do them now. They should be a separate Thank You from the wedding.
I would not wait for the photos, though it’s a nice touch, the longer you wait to send TYs the longer people wonder if you received their gift.
Post # 6
@Pinksapphire: Shower thank you cards should go out before your wedding. Wedding thank you cards within a couple months after your wedding.
I think you need to send out 2 separate thank you’s and do them now. Especially if you already have people thinking you are just not sending any out. At this point waiting any longer will just come across as you weren’t going to bother thanking your guests but since people were bringing it up you guys decided to after enough comments about it.
Post # 7
i agree, 2 separate cards are needed.
i think its a little ridiculous that someone was antsy for a thank you after 2 weeks though… almost everyone knows the 1 year rule and while i think people generally expect to see them a bit sooner than that, i do not get worried if 3 weeks have gone by and i dont see a thank you card.
ETA: maybe this person was antsy because you never sent out shower thank yous?
Post # 8
Technically the one year rule is that the guests have up to a year after the wedding to get you a gift, but you’re supposed to write the thank you card as soon as possible after receiving the gift. Some people write a quick little thank you note immediately and send the formal one a little later if they’re waiting for special stationery, pictures, etc.
Post # 9
@brendaray2009: It is not correct that you have one year to send thank you notes. Guests have one year to send wedding gifts, most etiquette experts say 3 months max from the time of the wedding.
OP. You should send them all NOW. Photo thank you notes are fine (I personally could care less), though you should never send your notes late, just so you can send people a photo of yourself.
You should send shower and wedding thank yous seperately. Your guests attended and gifted you on two occassions, so it is really the least you can do.
Start writing and sending the notes today. Do not put it off any longer. It really won’t take you that long. It should take less then 5 mins a note.
Post # 10
You need to write a separate card for the shower and the wedding. Honestly, you need to get your shower cards out immediately. They should have gone out within a week or two of the shower. Just get generic thank you notes and get to work.
You have up until 2 months to get your wedding thank you notes out, although you should have written notes for anything received before the wedding within a few days of receiving it. I would write a thank you at the same time that you cash a check, which should be done immediately so that it doesn’t mess up the giver’s balance.