Post # 1
So last night I had a terrible dream about Darling Husband. I dreamed that he had flirted with a neighbor while borrowing and then returning something from her, and so later when he and I had a huge fight and broke up, he immediately went and asked the neighbor girl out on a date. The rest of the dream got ridiculous (I do remember screaming and throwing my wedding rings at him, though) but when I woke up, I was pretty pissed at Darling Husband. It took several minutes for me to fully wake up and realize it was a dream, and when I told him about it he gave me all kinds of reassurances and hugs and kisses.
But I was still kinda mad. I was looking at him wondering, “Does he have a person in mind whose door he would immediately go knock on if we had a huge fight or broke up or something?” And I was suspicious.
It wasn’t until I went to the gym and came back that I finally realize that duh, real-life Darling Husband doesn’t have to pay for the crimes of dream-DH. Haha he doesn’t flirt with other women, neighbors or otherwise, and if we were to break up he’d probably call his mom in tears, not some neighborhood skank for a roll in the hay. What an absurd dream! But all in all, I’d say it took me an hour and a half to fully return to normal after this dream.
I know my mom once stayed mad at my dad for a whole day after dreaming that he cheated on her. A WHOLE DAY.
What’s the longest you’ve stayed mat at your SO for things the dream-version of them did? And what did they do to deserve it??
Post # 3
Darling Husband has never done anything awful in a dream, so he’s never had to pay. I once had a terrible dream about my dad, though. I can’t remember it very well, but I think him cheating on my mom and throwing it in her face was the least terrible of everything he did in the dream. I felt weird whenever I thought about him for WEEKS afterward. Fortunately, this dream happened while I was living overseas, so I couldn’t really make him pay for anything because we only texted occasionally and talked on Skype about once a month.
Post # 4
Also, I’m glad I’m not the only one who ended up being upset at someone for something a fictional representation of them did in my head.
Post # 5
Haha! I’m the same way, I get furious over stuff that happens in dreams. Even telling myself it was just a dream Does. Not. Help. !!
I told my Fiance once that I was mad at him about a dream and he thought it was kinda crazy. Luckily I’ve only ever had one weird dream about him so far. I only stayed mad through breakfast, though, I was over it by lunch. I don’t remember the exact details of the dream but I figured out it was from the plot of a stupid movie we’d watched the night before. LOL!
Post # 6
- Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo
LoL omg yes, I think a few hours or maybe even half a day, which was really bad because it was on the weekend so we were with each other all day, not me stewing at work or something. It’s so silly, but sometimes dreams feel so real!
Post # 7
- Wedding: May 2012 - Salvage One, Chicago
I’ve had dreams a little like that, but I can’t say I’ve ever stayed mad. Ever. It’s a dream. Not reality. I really hope no one stays mad at their SOs for this kind of thing…it’s ridiculous.
Post # 8
Haha! I do this to Fiance all the time. Whenever he is mean to me in a dream, he pays for it the next day. Big time. He thinks I’m a little insane, but I think he likes it.
Post # 9
@iarebridezilla: That is so true- real life Darling Husband shouldnt pay for dream Darling Husband, made me laugh! I always have crazy dreams about my Fiance and he talks a lot in his sleep too. I get mad sometimes but later kinda laugh about it, he shouldn’t have to pay for my creative mind dreams!
Post # 10
@JBing: But to your brain, it’s as real as real can be — especially if it’s a vivid dream, which mine was! So even though it’s irrational (which we all admit), it can be hard to talk yourself down from it since your emotions are also coming from your brain. So I don’t think it’s too terribly ridiculous, and it seems to happen to a lot of people. Now, if I dreamed that Darling Husband was the Antichrist and had brought on the apocalypse, and I was mad at him for that, then THAT would be ridiculous!
Post # 11
I usually tell FH about it as soon as I wake up, he says ‘Oh no I’m gonna pay. Aren’t I?’ and then we spend the next day or two turning it into a big joke between the two of us. It ends up getting quite funny at times especially when others have no clue and think that you are actually mad at each other until we burst out laughing.
Post # 12
Hahahahaha – I have definitely had dreams where Fiance has done some unspeakable things. But usually, once I realize that I was dreaming, I’m over it.
I usually tell him all about it, and then he says that Dream Fiance is a jerk, and that he’ll punch him for giving me bad dreams 😉 haha
Post # 13
Oh my.. this DID make my heart pounce.. because although i don’t recall a single thing i did sleeptalk a few weeks ago and what i said was just horrible, horrible..it was bad enough to power me to finally conquer my fear and see a therapist (next thursday!). I know i am not to blame as i was sleeping but what my husband heard me saying was just awful and since then we’ve been weird..much to my dismay, sorry and stupid guilt. Please, it’s not fair on your D.H. that you get mad at him because of what YOU dream about. Suppose he was sleeptalking and was for example was arranging a sexy meeting with that neighbor???? Can’t even immagine what your reaction would be..and THAT wouldn’t mean he was attracted to her or in any way not happy with you!
I am sorry, it’s just that this is a very touchy subject for me and i honestly believe it is not fair.
Post # 14
Haha I don’t usually have dream-lag as bad as I did today, but I think because the dream was SO vivid and the thing I was mad about was so … visceral, I guess (I mean really, we break up for like ten minutes and you already have a date with a new chick?!?!) that it just stuck with me!
Now I can imagine having flashbacks if we ever have to borrow something from a neighbor. Haha poor Darling Husband will have to take me along if we ever need to borrow a ladder or a drill or something. “I don’t want you neighbor-flirtin without me! Dream-you did that and it didn’t work out too well for me!”
Post # 15
- Wedding: May 2012 - The Chapel of the Sir Christopher Wren Building, 2007 Legacy Hall
Ugh. This happens to me. I have VERY vivid dreams. I try not to actually be mad at him, but I know that when I wake up I probably look at him funny. It always takes me a little while to shake the feelings off!
Post # 16
@Rivendeler: I understand what you are saying. To clarify, I wasn’t MAD at him … just sort of looking at him crosswise, tinged with suspicion, until my brain finally was awake enough to purge all the bad dream juju out of it. I would never ACTUALLY punish him for something he did in a dream! I hope you guys can work things out, and just keep reminding your husband that dreams aren’t real!!