How long is to long?

posted 3 years ago in Logistics
  • poll: How long is to long for being engaged?
    3 months : (0 votes)
    6 months : (0 votes)
    1 years : (2 votes)
    4 %
    2 years and up : (48 votes)
    96 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    320 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2014 - Restaurant

    There isnt a “too long” period of time.  But after 2 years I think the excitement starts to fade and people wonder if you are having doubts or if it will really happen.  I have a friend that has been engaged for 3 years now and until they actually set a date, I am not holding my breath.  That being said, if waiting works for you then everyone will get REALLY excited when the time finally comes!

    Post # 4
    Member
    4474 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    Probably over 2 years, but it also depends on the reasons. If a couple has a 2 year + engagement because they are on the younger side, still have certain career goals they want to reach and are generally just saving money for the wedding (or some variation on that scenario), then there’s really nothing wrong with that. But generally speaking if the engagement drags on for longer than 2 years there could be a problem (operative word is could, meaning not in every case). I agree with the PP that excitement can fade after 2 years +, but at the same time, you shouldn’t make a decision for your wedding based on what other people think. If you need to wait for a longer time then you should do so and not worry about the definition of “too long.” 

    Post # 5
    Member
    4601 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    @lucygirl1:  I can attest to this first hand. The fading excitement, people doubting you and so on.

     

    FH and I got engaged September 2010. We are getting married in March 2014. So as you can see, that’s a little over three years. We’re students and we both wanted to be done with school and have better jobs before we got married, so we waited a while. A year longer than we originally planned, but his mother died so we postponed. I will tell you that after this long, you stop being excited and people either assume you’re not serious about getting married or that you’re already married. Now that I’m into planning, the excitement comes back some because it’s really happening but there’s also a lot of stress that will sometimes overwhlem that excitement. 

    ETA: With that said, there is no “too long”. Every couple has different reasons for waiting or not waiting to get married. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    1111 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    I don’t think there’s any limit on how long is too long.  It’s all personal preference.  FI and I got engaged on June 9th, and we set our date last month for May 23, 2015, so that’s almost 2 years.  The venue we wanted for our reception was fully booked in 2014 and already began to fill up for 2015.  We had a bunch of other reasons too, we are both entering our last year of college this September, we want to move in together next fall, we want to save and get the vendors that we want, and I cannot plan a wedding in a year! I need a lot of time to plan something, heck I had to plan our week long vacation a year in advance haha.

    Post # 12
    Member
    254 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    I don’t think there is such a thing as too long of an engagement so I didn’t vote. Got engaged 2011 still here planning for 2016 which will make a 5 year engagement. I don’t see anything wrong with that at all. Anyone who doubts it doen’t know me or my FI. And it hasn’t taken the excitement out of planning and I have all time in the world for DIY projects. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    790 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    @TimeWillCome:  well its not like you had your wedding all planed out in your head before he asked the question! ours will be over 2years, he asked Aug 17 2012, we picked Oct 5, 2014. we both work a lot and im no way the girl to plan a wedding so the more time the better! ide say your fine at 2years if it went to 3-5 i would think something diff… good luck!!! <3

    Post # 14
    Member
    11772 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    When our engagement was supposed to be 18 months, people kept giving us the side-eye, like we were never really going to get married!

    Then we moved up the date by a year, and everyone got excited. I think a year is long enough (unless you need to save up–we have friends that saved for three years for their 25K castle wedding!)

    Post # 15
    Member
    1788 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    It depends on whether or not a date has been set. If a date is set and things are being booked and planned for it, I’d say nothing is too long unless it’s 3+ years out. That seems like a reasonable amount of time to be able to avoid planning intensely but still get the most popular options. However, without a set date, going 2+ years feels like too long. Setting a date is necessary to proceed with wedding planning, so if someone has been engaged for 2+ years without doing that much, I start to wonder if they just got engaged to be engaged, not to get married. 

    Post # 16
    Member
    2449 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    We were engaged February 2012, originally planned to marry April 2013 but had to postpone due to logistics. When we postponed the excitement faded a bit, but it also let us get comfortable with our decisions and really research the best vendors. We simply would not have had the same wedding and vendors if we didn’t have that extra 6 months. And now that we’re basically 8 weeks away, all that excitement and stress is coming back. I think 2-3 years is probably my max for an engagement but everyone has different priorities and goals before they get married.

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