(Closed) How long is too long

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1213 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Waiting is hard, I think its good to have a time frame though. If you think 18 months is too long you should try to compromise on when you’d like to be married. Try not to focus on the engagement, but the wedding/marriage. Something like ‘What season do you think is nicest for weddings? I love spring, maybe we should have a spring 2012 wedding?’ That gives him a year to propose and you a year to plan after that. It might be that he doesn’t realise the effort and planning involved in planning a wedding and doesn’t realise how much time to give you.

Post # 4
Member
1104 posts
Bumble bee

I was the same as you, 26 been together 5 years (although we were living together) and hello why the wait! But he did it, in his own good time, when he was ready πŸ™‚ Yours will too! It’s hard to be patient but that’s what girlfriends and the hive are for!

Post # 5
Member
837 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

You don’t know what he has planned.  Let him do it his way – you will enjoy it that much more.

Post # 6
Member
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I can totally, TOTALLY sympathize.  I was 26, had been with my boyfriend for 5 years and was not so patiently waiting.  We had a lot of ‘shit or get off the pot’ conversations (ok, arguments).  We did live together, so I thought that may have contributed to the length in my waiting time.  He already had a good set up, ya know?  When he finally proposed I was thrilled for months.  Eventually though we talked about why that was so hard for him to do.  It boils down to this- its a guy thing!  For my FI, he can’t be rushed into doing anything, let alone something so serious.  Pressure certainly doesn’t work.  He wanted to make sure he was prepared to give himself completely and forever to me, and that’s not an easy concept (especially for some men) to come to terms with.  Ok, I’m rambling now.  But I guess my point is that- it will happen.  And feel free to vent your frustrations here because it will NEVER fall on deaf ears, lots of us have been there or still are there too!

Post # 7
Member
573 posts
Busy bee

I agree with Jennifer!

I am 28 and my BF is 27, we have been together for 5 years and living together for one and we JUST got a ring so now I’m waiting for the actual proposal but thw whole thing boils down to when he is ready to do it. For women getting married is more about the right guy for men it’s more about the right time. Men have to be in the frame of mind that they are ready to settle down. Dont worry, when the time is right he will do it.

Post # 8
Member
102 posts
Blushing bee

Welcome! I totally feel you on the house deal. My bf is ten years older too! AND lives in a three bedroom with a roommate that drives him crazy and is never on time with rent. I don’t like the roommate at all and his house is 2 hours away from work. 2 hours! And I’m def a stickler for the ‘I’m not moving in until we’re engaged’ mentality. He’s excited for when I get my own apartment and he can stay with me during the week, but I don’t get why he would want me to waste money on rent when I could just wait a few more months and we can buy a new house together.

My mom says that guys won’t get excited about change until they’ve got something new they want more than what they have. So maybe you could start looking at houses with him? Maybe he’ll see something he can’t wait to get his hands on and realize the money would work out better with the two of you saving together?

@jennifer ‘Shit of get off the pot!!!” that’s exactly what my best friend told my boyfriend when he hadn’t officially asked me to be his girlfriend. It had been two weeks and she was sooo impatient! LOL

Post # 10
Member
79 posts
Worker bee

Wow, this sounds just like me…  I’m in the exact same boat except we have been living together for a few years.  We have joint bank accounts and separate accounts.  We actually have our “special” account that is our wedding account.  No ring in sight though.  So I have no advise for you because I haven’t figured out how to give him that push.  Sorry.  

Post # 11
Member
174 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Gosh I totally feel your pain, I feel a bit of a fraud though since I have “only” been “waiting” for 2 years… however I’m with you on the time frame and the dream that eventually the I’M ENGAGED post will follow in time!

 

Post # 12
Member
1205 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Wow–I admire your patience!  I was together with FI for over 4 years when we got engaged, but as soon as we started talking about it, it was like “okay, this better be the NEAR future cause I’m ready to be engaged already!”.  Of course, now we’re in the middle of a long engagement, so maybe it was a matter of wait now or wait later πŸ˜‰

At least you’re talking about it, though, and it sounds like he will be ready in his own time.

The topic ‘How long is too long’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors