Post # 1
My FI and I got engaged in February this year… its coming up on a year now and we have no date set… is this normal? Is there some kind of rule that says set a date in a certain abmount of time? Or rules of how long your supposed to be engaged? I can’t wait to start planning my wedding, I’m in love with weddings in general.
Also every time I bring up thewedding/marriage he gets up tight. Like he may regret it… I really feel like if its not set by the February coming i should maybe just call it off…. am I wrong?! I want to start my life with him.. and he doesn’t show the same… I’ve been up and down about this for awhile..
Any help oradvice would be appreciated.i
Post # 3
It’s not unusual for couples to prolong their engagement for a bunch of reasons – money, school, etc, but it sounds like you need to talk to your FI and make sure you are both on the same page about your future. If you’re ready to move forward and he’s truly not, then you both have some soul-searching to do. Hate to be a bummer, but I want to be as honest with you as I would with my own girlfriends. Good luck sweetie!
Post # 4
@missmovies: thank you for your honesty, I just don’t think we are on the same page. I have two children and I’m ready to settle down.for good. I am in school but that’s not why we are waiting. I actually took this semester off so hhe could focus on starting his business which was going well until it started getting cold. He is a painter so that’s understandable. But I need to know he’s still up for it. Ive tried talking to him but he says okay and brushes it off. I will try again tonight after work. Thank you again!
Post # 5
- Wedding: June 2013 - Country Club
my friend’s sister was engaged for 6 years before she got married. 🙂 every couple is different.
Post # 6
I have been engaged 3 years! LOL Money has always been the problem here. Talk with your fiance and tell him how you feel to make sure you are on the same page.
Post # 7
Money is an issue lol but not a huge one.. you know both ofbour families would be willing to help. I think its just us. I’m ready I just don’t think he is… nor do I think he ever will be 🙁
Post # 8
we were engaged for just over 2 years before we set a date and started planning. our lives were busy and there were things we wanted to do before getting married.
perhaps your fi wants to be a bit more established before he becomes your husband.
Post # 9
There’s no set rule about when to set a date, so you’re okay there. I it’s concerning that he seems to avoid the question, though.
Post # 10
My personal opinion (which a lot of people disagree with and that’s ok) is that there is no point in getting engaged if you don’t plan on setting a date and planning a wedding. An engagement is not the next step in a relationship unless you want to get married. To me, an engagement is a time to plan a wedding. There is a reason a man typically proposes by saying “Will you marry me?” Not “Will you marry me someday, eventually?”
It sounds like you didn’t want an engagement with no end in sight. If he won’t talk to you about it, then you’ve got bigger issues than the wedding.
Post # 11
I don’t think that it is unusual that you have not set a date. But I do think that it is unusual that your FI gets uptight everytime that you talk about marriage. You are engaged to be married. So that does not give him reason to get upset if you talk about marriage. I think that you need to talk to him to find out how he really feels about settling down. Try and find out his reasoning behind why he gets uptight when you bring up the topic of marriage.
Post # 12
I don’t think it’s too unusual, though to me (personally) I do find engagements over 2+ years a bit odd. I do think the point of being engaged is to give you time to plan a wedding. But it sounds like you really need to sit down with him and have a talk about what date/season he would envision getting married…because it’s concerning that he doesn’t want to talk about it.
Post # 13
Its really not about the date but more about the communication… if he’d communicate with me more we could get on the same page. And I agree with the fact that an engagment is for when your planning your wedding. If he can ask to be married why can’t he make the commitment? Im just confused. And I’m partially ready to give up. And call off the engagment and to me if you call that off there is no going back to the relationship… if we simply can’t figure this out. Then we arent meant for each other. And I’d like to find that person before I turn grey.. you kno? Am I being irrational?