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How long is/was your engagement and why?
We're kind of talking about either a 14 month engagement or a 2 years and 2 months long engagement. I would love to hear about your decisions and what you liked, didn't like, etc! :)
Well ours is going to be about 1.5 years. Originally it was supposed to be 13 months after our engagement, but then finances got a little hairy and we postponed/changed the date to another three months out, so it'll be 16 months. We wanted to make sure it was during the summer school break, as he has two semesters left and I have to go part-time and work full time.
16 months and just because of scheduling. We got engaged at the end of October 2009 and at that point we already had family weddings scheduled for August 2010 (my brother) and October 2010 (his mom). We didn't want to do it too close to either of them so we felt like our options were either Spring 2010 (which seemed way too soon) or Winter 2010/11. We looked at December but that is "in season" apparently, January was out due to my FI's job, so February 2011 it was!!
I think it was absolutely perfect actually. We definitely could've planned it in less time but I'm so un-stressed about things. Right after we got engaged we looked for venues a bit but we were having a hard time so we decided to just totally forget about the wedding for 3 mo and look for houses. We were able to find one, buy it, and move in! Then we slowly started getting back into the wedding stuff. Right now we're almost exactly half way through and finally getting to details, but I really don't feel rushed because I've had so much time of casually looking.
I should mention though... if we didn't already live together I might be more anxious about things. But, we already own a house together and live together so not much is going to change except the dress of our left fingers :)
Ours has been 15 months, we can only get married in the summer due to his job. I thought it was the perfect amount of time.
Our is exactly 14 months. I've got 2 months left and I'm pretty much ready to be done planning this wedding and be married!
I think it kinda depends on your finances, time, etc. We have been engaged for 4 months and haven't had time to plan anything. We've graduated from law school, moved across the country, are studying for and need to take the bar exam, and need to move again - all before September. So while we wanted our engagement to be about a year that isn't going to happen because there is no way we are going to be able to plan for a wedding in March 2011.
My opinion is that it totally depends on scheduling and what works for you guys. There shouldn't be some magic length. You need to give yourself a time frame that will work with your schedule and won't drive you mad because it is either too long or too short!
Ours is 16 months. Would have been less but my FI got deployed a few months after we got engaged. When he gets back we will end it as soon as possible.
Ours was 6 months mostly due to timing as my brother has a crazy schedule, my mother is a teacher and I did not want an engagement longer than 1 year. So this summer it was! I am really glad that we only spent 6 months planning it. We didn't stress or change our minds because we didn't have time to. :)
Ours was about 18 months. I wanted to finish medical school before tying the knot! :)
OUr engagement will be just over 11 months. My calendar was booked until July this year, he loves the fall season, and I would prefer it to be cooler outside. So November it is. We can also both go on a longer honeymoon, because we have the week of thanksgiving off.
Oh I missed the second part of your question! I liked waiting until we graduated to get married so we didn't have to worry about losing our insurance or something but it was really long and frustrating in part too!
Ours will be 2 years and 2 months. When he proposed, he didn't know where he'd be the next year for school. We wanted to get married this summer, but he's in medical school in the Caribbean and has to take classes all summer, so the wedding was pushed back to next summer.
Just short of 2 years, we got engaged right before Christams and by the time we decided on when/where, we picked Fall and decided on Nov 2011. We also have several other family weddings going on so we were trying to balance around those.
I'm HUGE into details so I like having all the time to plan!
Ours is just under 13 months. We're just over half-way through. 1 year was exactly what I wanted. It's enough time to plan and it gives us something we need to do for the wedding every month. When we got engaged, we were both very ready to move on to this next step of our lives. We didn't want to wait any longer than necessary to get married but felt that less than a year would be too hard to plan for the wedding that we wanted.
Ours was 9 months. We were thinking of waiting until the following summer so we could save more money and buy a house first. But then I figured once we had a house then we would really be struggling for money so we might as well get married now and save up again for our downpayment. It has worked out great for us and I am SO glad we didn't wait.
I will be engaged for a few months short of 3 years when I finally tie the knot. Sometimes I just cannot wait for my wedding day to get here, but most of the time I am grateful for having the extra time. Having more time has allowed me to shop around for things and take my time with many decisions. I am also able to do a lot of DIY stuff that will give my wedding a very personal touch. I don't have to stress about making decisions and I had my choice of vendors when I did a bit of my planning 2 years out.
4 months. For us, being married changed a LOT. We felt that being married was more important than having a "perfect" wedding. Even if we spent two years planning, it still wouldn't be perfect. I couldn't imagine having 1 year or more to worry about all the wedding stuff- I would have gone nuts.
8 months because it gave us enough time to plan a nice wedding; our current finances and ability to save determined how big/venue etc. I agree with previous poster that wedding planning limbo is not really a lovely place to be for a long period of your life. (But when you are all done, you tend to idealize it. Kinda like being pregnant. :)
Our engagement will be 9 months + 2 weeks or so. For us, it's been perfect. Besides my 9-5 job, I don't have a heck of a lot going on, so I've had plenty of time to do the bulk of the planning, and FI has had enough free time to help with lots. At two months out, I suddenly had nothing to do! I'm rather type-A organized and proactive, however, so I have had no problem buckling down and getting stuff done. If I wasn't quite so project-oriented (or had less free time), I would have wanted a longer engagement, but I'm SOOO glad that we went shorter. Honestly, we shortened our original engagement (next May) because of family drama (in order to shorten the amount of time they could be dramatic), and I'm thrilled we made that choice. For us, it was perfect.
Our engagement will be 1 year and 9 months. We really like our timeline, and everything has been wonderfully stress-free since we don't feel pressured or rushed. We'll probably start booking things in August or September, then work from there (though things like colors, atmosphere, etc. have been decided).
It really sounded like a looooong time when we got engaged in April, but now that it's only 18 months away, it feels perfectly reasonable.
The date I have set right now is tentive. There are a bunch of things that I would like to do on out condo first before FI and I get married. Also he could quite possibly be in the middle of school then so we have to factor that in too. I am hoping for only a two and a half year engagement but it could be longer.
I got engaged in May 2009 and am getting married in July 2010...so a little more than a year. I am a teacher so basically I wanted to get married in the summer and it was the best time.
1 year and a week for us. We were together for 6.5 years when he proposed. We had to be engaged for a year (parents request) and FH didn't want to be engaged for longer than 18 months.
Ours is going to be a year long. I wish it were shorter, but I want to get married in the summer, and getting engaged at the end of spring didn't really allow enough time to plan a destination wedding for this summer.
Nine months ~ got engaged in June 09 and decided we wanted a spring wedding (this yr) so we picked the venue first and then chose from what open dates they had available. Worked out perfectly.
Ours was just under 4 months. We thought about waiting for about a year to save and plan, but our schedules were just about to get really hectic (both of us had just graduated medical school and were starting residency), plus we wanted to buy a house but i didn't want to do it till we got married.....sooooooo, we just took the plunge! Money was tight, but thanks to lots of research and help from our family, we were able to have a nice intimate and elegant wedding.
I'm glad we didn't wait. It would have been much more difficult to plan with our crazy schedules and I'm sure I would have been second guessing every decision. Having the short engagement forced me to stick to my decisions. And as an added bonus, we were able to purchase our home and are now enjoying being newlyweds and home-ownership. Had we waited a year, we probably wouldn't have bought the home (it wouldn't be worth it since we don't plan to stay in the area after residency is over, 5 years of training here).
About ten months. Hopefully that won't feel like an eternity. I would have been cool with six months, haha. :)
We got engaged this last Feb and are planning a March 2012 wedding so our engagment is just over 2 years! We both felt it would be good to have extra time to really plan things out early so hopefully there will be less of a crunch time and we can really have our first choice with things. So far it's working out well! 5 months in and we already have our first choice place for venue picked out and booked on our first choice date we wanted, plus we got to coordinate to leave on honeymoon the very next day on the first choice cruise we wanted... booked already as well! plus, since we are doing things so far in advance it really gives us the extra advantage of managing to pay for everything. Put down deposits now and still have several months to save up and get back on our feet for the remaining! So far it's all been super stress free (hopefully our good streak will keep!!)
So far it's really helped us keep on budget since we really get to have our choice of everything and not just go with what's available. I've had some friends in the past get married with short engagements (less than 1 year) and ended up spending wayyy more than they intended because they had to go with this caterer or this had to go with this date because they had to go with what was open. Also, on the topic of keeping budget, I think it also helps having a long engagment because it really gives us time trying to decide what to have/what to cut out/what we dont really need for the wedding.. since we have time to really think about it without pressure.
We will be getting married in 2012 so 2 years, we need to save and plan.
About 14 months. I started studying for the bar exam the Monday after graduating/engagement. That took two months. Then I traveled for two months, then started a new job... Basically, it took me 6 months after the engagement to start planning the wedding.
Ours will be a year to the day. We got engaged on April 16, 2010 and are getting married April 16, 2011. Why? We love the spring and it the date was too perfect to give up ;) I wanted a year to enjoy being engaged and to plan with calm. We have been almost engaged for three months and we have done a lot already!
We are going with a long engagement for various reasons. 1) I needed to finish school and my first year of teaching. and 2) We wanted to save up enough money to pay for the wedding in full without outside help.
Ours was 5 months. We actually knew we wanted to marry long before that, but there were various issues that had to be dealt with. As soon as we could get engaged, we did, and we did NOT want to wait any longer than necessary to get married (we were LDR). Five months was about enough time to plan the wedding AND get my stuff moved across the country. I'm glad it wasn't any longer ... I would have dithered too much over details. Because I didn't have time to agonize over choices, I just made all the big decisions (venue, dress, guest list) quickly and let them go, no chance for second guessing! The wedding was lovely and I don't think I would have changed anything.
We are having a 19 month engagement... enjoying the time being engaged and really appreciating the time to save up and plan. It took my about 6 months to switch from calling him bf to FI... we are enjoying our long engagement. :)
10 months. We planned it for August because it will be a good time for me to take off at work- but it has seemed like way too long! Ideally we would have done 6 months.
:) Interesting to hear everyone's different stories! Thanks for sharing! There are soo many things to consider with setting a date!! lol
Almost 2.5 years. We have fairly normal reasons for this, just that we're in school and want to be graduated and financially independent before getting married.
Ours will be a little under 9 months, simply because we compromised! He wanted to get married asap so I could move in with him and we can start our lives together, and I wanted enough time to enjoy being engaged/wedding planning! I wanted a year, he wanted 6 months, 9 was right between! So far we have had no problem getting venues and vendors!
We planned almost six months, but ended up getting legally married barely two months after he proposed, although we don't really count that one. So 5 months from proposal to formal religious ceremony. Basically it was that being married is more important to us than having the "perfect" wedding. Also, he's in the military and grad school (I juts finished my masters), so you kind of have to schedule things like this when you know they'll be around. If we waited a year, he could be deployed! We're also two of those psycho Christian-waiting-for-marriages types and in our early 30's, so a long engagement didn't seem necessary. :-)
And it's working for me. I just want to be done with the planning and I haven't even been doing it that long! I don't know how you 1+ ladies do it!
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