Post # 1
so, if we plan on getting married in a Catholic church, I understand we need to take classes and stuff.
question is: how much time from the moment you talk with a priest about wanting to get married i the church, does it take for him to be like, “ok, you can pick a date now”
Post # 3
Because we are parishioners of the church we were married in, we didn’t have to make an appointment with the priest before we picked our date. We just called up the parish secretary and asked her reserve us a date about 6 months out. She had us fill out a form with our information, and when we turned that in along with our deposit, our date was reserved.
However, most churches ask that you call to schedule a date 6 months (or more) from the date you want. There’s a lot of paperwork that goes into getting married in the Catholic church, plus we had three meetings with the priest to go over the ceremony, witness forms, etc… and we had to complete our pre-cana course. Every church differs a little in their process, but most require notification at least 6 months before you get married.
ETA: If a church wants you to make an appointment with the priest before scheduling a date, I would think it would be a one hour meeting or less. Maybe other bees have more experience?
Post # 4
It depends on the church. My church requires you to be engaged six months before they will marry you. (but they give you your wedding date ASAP as long as you are a parishioner)
I got engaged on a Friday and called my church on Monday to set a date. We go through marriage prep in November and January and we’re getting married in July.
I hope this helps!
Post # 5
well we are both Catholics, but don’t actually go to church
I know its not technically right, but I believe in the religion, and want our kids to be baptized and follow the Catholic teachings.
I don’t know if the fact that we don’t go to church will slow the process down. I want to get married by Sept 2010 at the latest
Post # 6
I would call the church you are interested in and see what their process is. Rules vary so much from parish to parish, and your church might have a different process than ours.
Post # 7
Generally it’s at least 6 months ahead of time. I’ve never heard of a catholic church not making folks go through the pre-canna sessions before hand-although it varies from diocese to diocese if you have to just do the weekend thing, or several days. You’ll also have to meet with the priest at least a couple of times.
Post # 9
My FI and I are getting married at the Catholic church where he was confirmed at (and therefore, a member). I had to get a “permission form” filled out at by a priest at the church where I am a member. The priest at FI’s church then met with us, asked if we had ever been married before, then penciled us in for a date. We have to complete marriage counseling, and then 6 months before the wedding, we have to get our baptisim papers forwarded to the church and then meet with the priest to go over things and fill out the paperwork.
It wasn’t too difficult, we were kinda concerned about the whole process. I think, like everyone else said, it depends on the church.
Post # 10
Each church is different. My church is incredibly beautiful and centrally located, so its a very popular church to get married in. Because my church wants to give preference to parishioners, they won’t reserve wedding dates for people that haven’t been members of the church for at least six months before requesting to reserve a wedding date.
Other churches in the area have no requirement that you be a parishioner to get married in their church. However, many churches charge a higher fee for you to marry in the church if you aren’t a parishioner.
Call around and see what the norms are in your area. I think its very reasonable for you to get married before Sept 2010 (but you need to call now as some churches book up months to a year in advance).
Post # 11
ooh blueshoes2..I kinda wanted to know more about that
the church we want to look into, is the church my fiance was Baptized at, and he did his first communion there. So, it sounds like you’re saying due to that, he’s considered a “member”. Is that so?
Also, were you both actively going to church? Did this cause any problems (if you weren’t)
Post # 12
I agree with the other postings, every church is different….we had to meet with a priest and then take a week-end class, then pay $75, then, and only then were we allowed to pick a date…and we are registered members. Oh, and I forgot, we had to take a test! Good Luck. In total, it took us a about 2 months to get to pick our date.
Post # 13
@luli29: I’m not too sure about the baptism vs. confirmation thing in the Catholic church. I was baptized at a church in another state, but I was confirmed at a church here. Therefore, I’m a member of the church here. My FI was baptized and confirmed at his church, so he’s obviously a member there.
I’m not sure which one (baptism or confirmation) makes you an official member.
I do know that I do not go to church every Sunday (bad I know… trying to change that), nor does my FI. I think it just really depends on the church. I’ve seen some Catholic churches that require you to be a member for almost 2 years prior to the wedding date… and their definition of “member” may differ.
It doesn’t hurt to call and ask 🙂 Best of luck to you!
Post # 15
I’m pretty sure it’s confirmation that makes you a member of the church. I think I remember my FMIL saying something about this. My FI and I are paying member fees and got priority on our date even though I have never been baptized and he hasn’t regularly attended church there in years.
Regarding timing – since we are out of state, we decided to give ourselves plenty of time to get everything done. We first met with our officiating priest in June and will be getting married in March. Our priest also requires that our families fill out forms on our behalf (stating we’ve never been married, etc) and since our families don’t live in the same city, we needed extra time for that too. Most of this could be done relatively quickly if you are getting married where you and your respective families currently live.
The pre-cana stuff can take some time too. Make sure you give yourself plenty of time to do the Engaged Encounter weekend (if your priest requires it) – our diocese only offers 6 weekends per year and they fill up pretty quickly, so we decided to do ours in August, just to be sure.
Hope that helps!
Post # 16
Wow, can I just say how different things are between the U.S. and here in Canada. When I clicked onto this post, I was expecting to see brides share experiences very similar to our’s, but that’s not the case. I think it has more to do with the Toronto Archdiocese but we needed to speak with the priest more than a year out to book our date. Believe it or not, we met our priest on Feb 2009 and dates were already booked for June and August 2010!
So yes, we spoke to the priest and were interviewed about our intentions to marry. Other than the year thing, sounds very similar to what PP have said. You’ll be required to submit a baptism records and attend marriage prep courses.