Post # 1
Ive had miscarriages before, but for some reason this one is breaking my heart.
I had 3 positive tests, and I know my OB wouldn’t do an early ultrasound, so i called my local free pregnancy clinic. I got to see my peanut, he (because I’ve always wants a boy, and I have 3 daughters) was measuring 6 weeks 1 day. Exactly what they guestimated from my last menstrual cycle. Well, baby peanuts heart beat was 70 bpm. 🙁 at first I said I think you’re measuring mine! She measured 3 more times, it was peanuts.
I went a week later for a follow up, my nurse said there is always a chance for it to catch up, but it’s slim. Peanut was still at 6 weeks 1 day. His hr was in the 60s.
I have another follow up on Monday, all pregnancy symptoms have ceased, although I am still producing hCG.
I guess what I’m asking is why is my poor fetus suffering? How long will it be before he finally passes away? It just tears me up inside knowing that it could possibly be in pain, although the nurse said he most likely isn’t.
we werent trying for peanut, he was a surprise. A welcome surprise for me, not for him. He has been very distant, I have been very depressed. It’s taking a strain on us as lovers, he acts like he doesn’t care and that breaks my heart. He even told me that if we had a viable pregnancy he would leave me if I didn’t abort. How selfish of him. He knows I’m ProLife.
my miscarriages previously, were already passed when my doctor gave me US at 8 weeks. I’m miserable.
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Post # 2
There are some bigger issues here than your unexpected pregnancy. I’d work on talking to your SO about what would happen if this happens again and/or work harder at preventing pregnancy since it sounds like he most definitely does not want another child.
Post # 3
VossinatorsButterfly: I am so sorry that things are not going well for you. The last thing you need right now is the superior attitude that you wil get from some Bees.
Unfortunately, there is no one answer to your question about how long it will take. Take care.
Post # 4
Oh, honey, I am so, so sorry. Do you have anyone besides your SO that you can lean on for support? I, too, have had multiple misscarriages and know what it’s like for things to be up in the air like that. Please, please know he is not suffering or in pain. I will definitely keep you and your peanut in my thoughts and prayers. Please feel free to PM me if you want to talk.
Post # 5
MrsYokiman: it’s basically him that I get my support from. The 3 daughters I have are from a previous relationship, he has no children and before the pregnancy he was always talking about wanting a child (he’s 48, not getting any younger there buddy…) now this happens and he wants nothing to do with the situation. I’m beating a dead horse with him, it’s basically over. Thank you for thinking of me. 🙂
Post # 6
VossinatorsButterfly: I’m afraid that nobody can give you an answer. Wish we could be more helpful.
However, the thing that really stood out to me was the attitude of your other half. I know you don’t need me to tell you what a horrible thing that was to say… but it’s bad news.
Post # 7
VossinatorsButterfly: before the pregnancy he couldn’t stop talking about having a child, but he said if you had a viable pregnancy he’d want you to abort? I don’t get it….did going through the previous miscarriages change his mind?
Sorry to hear of your struggle and lack of support….have you thought about seeing a therapist or counselor to help you process this, find strength and ways to cope?
Eta since I totally ignored your actual question: I think how long is probably a question for the OB and not anyone here….but I am almost positive I remember being told fetuses do not register pain so early on, so definitely don’t worry about that. Allowing yourself to worry about that will only serve to give you more stress.
Post # 8
- Wedding: April 2012 - Chateau Briand
I am so sorry you are going through this. In addition to the heartbreak of a miscarriage, your DH has the balls to carry on like that? Unacceptable! You at least need to try couples therapy/counseling. That kind of behavior on his part is heartless.
Post # 9
heartbreaking. thinking of you xo
Post # 10
I am so sorry for your loss. I don’t know how long it will take, but the nurse is right about your son not suffering. I’ve been through similar, and my doctor was very clear about our babies not suffering in situation like this.
I’m sorry your guy is being such a jerk. That makes an already difficult situation much harder.
Post # 11
Mine was a few days after my hcg started to drop (after not doubling for a few bw tests). Waiting for a mc to start is the worst feeling. I was about 5w6d, and had been spotting since around 4w3d. My doctor gave me a note to stay home once the hcg started to drop. I’m so sorry for your loss, and btw, your SO is a dick..
Post # 12
VossinatorsButterfly: I don’t know the answer to your question. I just wanted to say I’m so sorry you have to go through this. A midcarriage is awful enough on it’s own. I can’t begin to imagine just having to sit and wait for it to happen. I’ll be thinking of you. I do hope you have others in your life that can offer support when your SO is not.
Post # 13
polyblonde: we have not been through previous miscarriages together. This would be his first.
He said some pretty hurtful things on the phone to me today. He has been heartless through the whole ordeal. Im done with him. There’s no forgiving the words he used.
thank you everyone for the kind words.
Post # 14
VossinatorsButterfly: I’m so sorry you are going through this. If anything good comes out of this it is knowing who your SO really is. To not give you any support and to say hurtful things when you are going through such a hard time is unacceptable. I’m glad that you are calling it quits. For me it took about 2 weeks for my baby to pass after learning that the HB was low. I started bleeding after that but the fetus never passed so I had to have a D&C. I’m so sorry you are in limbo right now. Just know that there will be better days in the future even though it does not feel like there will be now.