Weddingbee boards

Hi all,

I know there are several threads like "how long were you dating before you got engaged" and "how long were you dating before you moved in together" but I haven't seen any asking how long were you living together before you got engaged, so that is my question!

This is especially applicable for those couples who moved in together having already discussed that they wanted to get married down the road.

I'm trying to feel out my boyfriend a little bit. Here is my story (warning, it is long).

We've been together for 2.5 years (international long distance the whole time..I've known him for ten years though!). I'm 27 and he's 26. About a year ago, we were at a crossroads in our relationship. I was ready to be done the distance and move to be together; however, I made it clear I wasn't willing to move to another country for him unless we were engaged. He told me he wasn't ready to get engaged, didn't know when he would be ready, end of story. I changed my tune and said I would be willing to consider without an engagement - he still said no, he didn't feel I should move there at that time (I think he knew I deep down wanted that engagement and he genuinely wasn't ready and didn't want to lead me on). I told him we needed to take a break and figure out what we both wanted. After a month of no talking, we got back together with the agreement that with the next work promotion and move he got, he would at least come up with a timeline to be in the same place - a concession on both our parts.

Last October, he officially asked me to move countries to be with him. I made it very, very clear that I would be happy to do so as long as we were both on the same page that we wanted this relationship to lead to marriage someday. I didn't put any timelines on it, though. We agreed we were on the same page. In January, he got his promotion and relocation, and I wanted to stay where I was until the spring to finish up some work projects, so we agreed I would move in June. In two more weeks it is finally happening!

His entire attitude has changed completely in the last year. He has been much more attentive to me, he goes out much less, he has become much more serious within his job, etc. I hear him talk in future terms a lot "our kids..."  and discussing kids names. We talk about where "we" want to live. He has been making a lot of weird comments lately...i.e. we were watching that movie Bride Wars and he asks me if I would go searching for a hidden wedding ring...or if I want a Tiffanys ring...when I say something about being anti-blood diamonds he asks "well what DO you want"?. I don't know if I am psyching myself out though!!

Anyway I just feel like he does realize what a huge decision and leap I am making by moving countries to be with him and how serious I am and I feel like he is on the same page and I don't want to get my hopes up at all.....SO......for those of you who did live together with your boyfriend, knowing full well you both saw marriage SOMEDAY in the future...did your SO wait 6 months or two years after the move in!??!

my fiance and i were long distance (across the country!) for 1.5 years before we moved in together. we then lived together for another year and a half before we got engaged. we were both really glad we took our time to get used to living together after being long distance for so long before we got engaged.

Hmm... Now that I stop and think about it, I'm not sure how to answer this. Technically, we have been living together for 4 years, but we've always had other roommates as well, while we've been going to school. Our roommate moved out last year, so we found a smaller place for just the two of us, and he proposed about 3 months after that. So I guess it depends on how you define "living together"... We had 3 years with "chaperones" haha!

We started dating in high school, did long distance for college, and moved in together when I started grad school immediately after.  We lived together for 2 years before getting engaged, and will almost be 3 before the wedding.

I think my mother would have liked us to move a bit faster, but we wanted to be sure that, after all these years, it was really right and not just convenient.

Thanks for the comments guys! Sounds like a wide range. I really have NO clue if it will be six months or closer to two years. Sometimes I think it will be pretty soon, based on certain actions, then something is said/done, and I think, no way will it be anytime soon.

One good thing is that my job is (99%, anyway) going to let me work remotely from abroad for a period of one year. After one year, I'm probably going to move back home, and I think he knows that, so either he needs to act within that time so he can come with me or...:) we'll go back to long distance and i can't stomach much more of that so..... anyway, having a built in "time line" I think puts the pressure on a little more!

We officially moved in together after we got engaged.  We lived together for a summer right after we started dating, but I don't count that.  

We moved in together for real about three months after we got engaged.  That's when both of our leases were up and we each moved from our separate places into a place of our own.

we lived together for 4.5 years before he proposed