Post # 1
Hey guys, hate to be a debbie downer but I came here to (hopefully) find a little encouragement. My fiance and I (we got engaged last week) are currently long distance, we have been since January. I know we are not the first couple to do this, but some days, it’s so hard:( We lived together before I moved out here.
We are fine, but there isn’t a day that goes by that I have to fight back the tears and the worry of WHEN are we going to be living in the same city? I moved a 5 hr drive away for work (not terrible compared to so many others farther apart), that I have to be here 2 years for by contract. My fiance, Ben, is graduating in a week, and has to decide within that time frame if he will go to graduate school for counseling in the same city next year. I told him I support whatever he chooses. I feel like long term it’s best for him to go rather than having him try to make it out here without a masters. That would mean we’ll be long distance for another year and a half:( It overwhelms me so much. We’d then get married in April 2014. I even consider if I* should switch jobs, the job I studied to do, to get into something else in the same city. But I worry would people think I’m crazy for switching careers for love?
I guess I was hoping you guys can tell me how long you were long distance with your boyfriend/fiance/husband before you were together in the same city and how did you deal?
Post # 3
We started off long distance (about 4 hours) and stayed that way for about a year and a half until I got a transfer to his city. As hard as it was, we didn’t know any different, so that probably made it a little easier. I can’t imagine being long distance now. 🙁
Post # 4
We were long distance for 3 years. As in 6-to-12 hours plane ride long distance, Did that suck? OH YEAH! i don’t think I could stand doing it again. It is doable, it is not enjoyable though. Hang in there!
Post # 5
We’ve been LDR since we started dating, and we just celebrated our 2 yr anniversary this past weekend. We’ve still got about 14 months of distance to go. Bleh!
We deal with skype dates, hours upon hours on the phone, letters, texts, little gifts, and visits.
Post # 6
We started off long distance and it stayed that way until we got married a year and a 1/2 after we started dating. We lived on different continents and the 12 hour flights to see each other sucked big time. Saying goodbye at airports was the bane of my existance. >.<
Luckily now we don’t have to deal with any of that anymore. Hope it’s over for you soon!
Post # 7
We dated casually for his last semester in school, and then broke it off ’cause that just made sense…and then proceeded to do long distance exclusive for the next two years, til I graduated. 🙂 We made plans to go to grad school together, lived in the same place in different apartments for two years, and have been living together for two now (and engaged for a year and change).
It was hard, but we also weren’t QUITE as serious during our LD phase — plus I was still having a great time in college, surrounded by friends, etc. But it’s tough. Good luck, OP! Megabus, Skype (we didn’t have Skype then!), and cute text messages and surprise packages are your friend. Also, make sure that you guys MAKE FRIENDS in those cities. It’s important to have a local support network. When you and your Fiance go to visit each other, those folks will already know a ton about the absent partner. 🙂
(PS — my fiance is in a PhD program for counseling. I definitely recommend that your dude get at least a master’s. It will open up so many more doors for him in his profession, and enable him to do more “white-collar” work as opposed to some of the stuff which really wears you out unless you have a total vocation for it.)
Post # 8
We were long distance for almost 4 years in college – he lived in CA, I was in FL. When he graduated he moved to my city in FL, and we’ve been married for 1.5 years now – it’s pure heaven to not be in an LDR anymore 🙂
But you know, it sucked while it was happening, but sometimes I feel nostalgic for those times – the traveling and the missing each other (a little bit of missing is good!) and the excitement building up to a trip over there. I wouldn’t trade living with my husband for the entire world, but I know how strong and independent those four years made us and we know we can get through anything. There will be a light at the end of the tunnel!
Post # 9
We did LDR for 10 months after we had been together for about 6 months. We were able to visit each other every month or two, and it was a 1.5 hour plane ride or a 12 hour drive. We also did long distance for 3 months right after we got engaged, with no visits, and I was 1500 miles away. For some reason the second time was way easier for me, even though there were no visits and we had lived together for over a year at that point. I think part of it was that I was very well distracted because I was working 60 hours a week and quickly made friends with my coworkers (we were all interning away from home, so we clicked pretty quickly). I also felt super secure in the relationship because we had just gotten engaged, whereas there wasn’t as much security the first time. Long distance sucks, but it is doable. I would try to hang out with friends more, and make some kind of schedule so you have visits at a regular interval. The first time we did LD we really got into the groove of visits, which helped.
Post # 10
@village_skeptic: that’s awesome! Do you mind telling me where he went for his masters? how intense was it? haha
Post # 11
We have been long distance since January and will be until after the wedding which is June 9th.
It’s a relatively short amount of time but I can’t wait til it is over.
We talk on skype almost every night- it helps a lot. I’ve also gone in for the last 2 weekends due to wedding stuff and braces stuff and will be going in next weekend as well.
Post # 12
Darling Husband and I lived in different states and met online, and our entire dating relationship and engagement were long distance. After we were married, I had to keep living and working in my former state until after my house sold in a very down real-estate market so that we could still pay both of our mortgages and purchase a new house together. I lived and worked part of the week from DH’s house and lived and worked part of the week from my house (and, after my house sold, eventually a friend’s house in my former city until I could finish out my commitment to my employer and we could get DH’s house ready for market, too.) It was pretty awful, since working five days a week and having to make that six-hour-round-trip commute each week was not fun, and I was forever packing and unpacking and doing laundry, etc. Also, Darling Husband has children, and his job involves working every weekend, so we really did not ever have much alone time at all for the first year of our marriage.
Eventually, about two years after we began dating in person, we were finally in the same city at the same time, full time.
Post # 13
We were long distance, almost 2 hours away and different states, for the first 3 1/2 years of our relationship. It was tough. But obviously we made it work.
Post # 14
Fiance and I got together, lived very close together for 3 years, then he moved to the other side of the country and we saw each other about once every two weeks for a year. Then I moved closer and we spent 4 days in every 10 together for a year. Then we bought a house together and lived together for a few months. Then I took a job on the other side of the world, and will be there for 18 months. It sucks. I just keep telling myself that when this is over, we will never have to be apart again…
Deep breaths, and take it one day at a time… taht’s my advice!
Post # 15
We were LDR on and off throughout college
Summer after sophomore year – 3 mos (5 hours)
Spring semester Jr year – 5 mos (1 hr – saw each other most weekends)
Summer after Jr year – 3 mos (5 hours)
Summer after my Sr year – 3 mos (8 hours)
Fall after sr year (Dh’s last semester) – 5 mos (5 hours)
19 months total. It definitely sucked, but webcams saved my life. He’s not a big phone person, so being able to have the webcam up and chat on and off while doing homework and such made it seem more like we were together. Schedule visits and keep a countdown on your planner – makes the time go by faster 🙂 I remember how it seemed like that last 8 month stretch (after I graduate) seemed like it would take FOREVER to get through……and now he’s been living with me for 16 months! You will get through it!
Post # 16
WOW what a joy to see so many on here that were or still are in LDR and yet they made it work … We were in one for over a year and a half when we first got together and of course it was hard.. but we like the rest of other couples this way – we went on Movie dates by going to the same movie at the same time and texted throughout!!! the phone was conneted to my ear it felt like ALL the time!! BUT eventually you get to that point that you dream of and YES it then becomes worth it and unlike other couples who never deal with this – I truly believe that this made our relationship so much stronger and built so much more trust in one another!!
Remember in every dark cloud there is always a Silver Lining – we just have to see it 🙂