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We both want to be established in careers before we have kids. We've agreed that around 30 should be a good age for us.
Oh boy...I would like to wait until just before I'm at the age where the risk of disorders becomes too high! Haha, seriously though--I am terrified of having kids. Every now and then it sounds like fun, but for the most part it sounds exhausting and miserable...and exhausting. Sounds like it's easy to lose part of "yourself" while catering to little dinkos all day and night. As you can tell from this post, I am much too selfish to have babies anytime soon. I am hoping to not start trying for another 4 years?
We aren't sure if we want kids yet but if we are going to, we will wait until we are in our late 20s - early 30s so 5-10 years still.
We are going to start the adoption process a couple months after we are married. Not sure when we will try to get pregnant. Probably depends on how the adoption goes.
at first i wasnt for the idea of kids but i changed my mind. I also was terrified about something coming out of you down there lol. I am 24 going on 25 (next month is my bday) and hes 27 going on 28 (in may) so i feel like i dont wanna be in my late 30's to have kids as my parents were in there late 30's.
We said 2 years after the wedding... just so we can someone have a date in mind, so we can start planning and saving.
I know people said if you keep saying you want to be save up before having kids, you'll never have kids because there will always be things that come up... car repairs, house repairs and such.
My hubby wants kids now, but I want to wait 5 years to start trying. We'll both be 27, finished with school, and he'll almost be out of the Navy.
@ Sep Quenn, I know how you feel. I always said 30 (I am 28 ) and I am now getting nervous!! =)
I'm aiming for 25-ish or so, about 5 years after we get married. I'm afraid of being an "old" parent, but I want to be established and so does FI.
S and I have decided to start trying in 2015/16, so 5 or so years away. We would like our first to be born in 2016, because S is going back to uni next year, so He'll be done by 2015. This works for me, I'll be 26 and He'll be 29. Oh, and we are getting married in late 2012.
@ VirginiaMarie: Yes! This is exactly how I feel. Miserable, and exhausting, and where does yourself go in the process? My sister's facebook page has her daughter's hairbows favorited, and her son's soccer team. Not anything she likes for herself. I saw that and it sort of freaked me out.
I'm not saying never, I'm just saying "not yet." And I have no idea when the magic ready time is, I'm about two weeks from being 25 now, and I don't feel anywhere near ready.
FI has one son, and we've talked about it, he says if I decide I want them, great. If I decide I don't, that's great too, he has a kid, and we can get another dog.
we've guestimated 4 to 5 years after our wedding. it sounds like a long time, but i've got law school, he's got his mba program... we just can't have kids before we're done with schooling/working a couple of years with our new degrees
Liiiike, a day. Just kidding! But we'll be married in June and we'd like to start trying in December. We've been together for 7 years, this is what we want more than everything. We'll see how it goes though! I can live with a longer wait if that's what's meant to be.
my husband is the same way, he wants 2 wait to make sure we can take care of a baby, and i noe we ll be ok! plus with him being a marine we ll def be ok! u ll have a kid someday! i noe i ll have a kid someday! us girls just have 2 wait! lol
We've got our careers and the house all set, so we will seriously start trying on the honeymoon! I'll be 26 he'll be 29 so I think those are good ages.
A long, long, loooong time. Hah!
You guys might want to have a discussion about what constitutes being "financially prepared" and make sure that you're on the same page with it (ex. 'we both want all student loans paid off first' or something).
We would be trying immediately after wedding if I was not back in school. We both want kids sooner rather than later and hopefully will be pregnant 12-15 months after the wedding (when I am supposed to get out of school)! I will be 28 at the time going on 29 and he will be 35 going on 36 so we feel we are ready.
I want to graduate from grad school and be teaching at least a year....so try in about 2 or 3 years (I'd be like 27 and he'd be 31)
When we get married I'll be 27 and he'll be a month shy of 30. From there we plan to wait about 3-5 years depending on where we are in our careers and in the world.
We're young so we're in no rush. We say at least 5 years after the wedding, but it really depends on where life takes us. I'd like to have our first child before I'm 30 but that's 8 years from now so I think we're good!
Okay, this sounds bad, but bear with me: I don't have financial goals, I have joint-accomplishment-goals. {Short answer: we recently agreed to start talking about trying in one year. We want an early summer baby -- both our mothers are teachers and can come help us over the summer -- but this year is too soon.}
We have two houses - the one we live in and my husband's house from before we were married. The house we live in has a full basement apartment that hasn't been updated since the 60's, so we really have three houses, all of which need updating. We first need to finish and unload his house, then do work on the main floor of our house, then get the basement ready for visitors. Long-term visitors. :)
We need to build a fence and put in a dog door for the dogs, maybe add an extra bathroom to the main floor, add main-floor laundry facilities, and possibly upgrade the electrical system. My husband is going back to school and I'm a total basket-case, so getting as much of this done before we deal with pregnancy hormones and sleep deprivation puts us in the best situation. Or so I think.
Are we the only ones thinking this way? I'm 30 right now and I'm getting more and more nervous about delaying every year because we want two kids. Frankly, if my body can't handle alcohol like it used to, I can't imagine it can go through the trauma of childbirth like it might have a decade ago.
We would like to have three. Two on our own and at least one adopted. But we'll be waiting until I finish my PhD and get a teaching job. So probably six or seven years from now, which will be about five years after we get married.
Ours changes from 2-4-5 years from now! We're young, so we're thinking I should at least be finished with school first. Other than that, we're of the mind set that if it were to happen after we get married it'd be ok. Truly, though it feels like forever the ideal would be to wait until 2014 or so (I guess 2013 would be ok but I prefer even years!)
The Guy and I just revisited this topic recently. He thought the plan was one year after the wedding and I thought it was two years (he'll be 32 when we get married and I'll be 28). The more I think about it though, the more excited I get that he said one year after the wedding!
We are trying to save a really significant amount of money before we TTC, because The Guy's three older sisters have told us over and over and over again how important that is.
We can't really afford to wait long at all! FI is 40 and he doesn't want to be an "old father", so we're going to start after the wedding. I'm 30 and always thought around 32-35, so it's close enough for me.
Haha we're going to actually start trying BEFORE the wedding! I'm 27 & he's 37 - we're both ready. We're holding off for the next few months (would hate to ruin all my planning by being well into a pregancy on our wedding date). We figure 2 months before we'll be fine, since it usually takes a while we figure we might as try.
well, myu husband will be 37 in june (right before the wedding) and doesn't want to wait any longer. I just went off my BCP and we are start to TTC immediately after the wedding. :)
(p.s. we've been legal for a year already)...
but you're right - no matter how long you wait, financially there's always something else going on. :p
We might wait another year, so I'd be 37. We just got married 4 months ago.
Probably a year after we get married. I'm 29 now and want to have a couple before 35. He's already 38, so we would need to start relatively soon.
We are both 25 and out of school. We just bought our first house, and things were starting to come together. However, the plan was still to wait another 2-3 years to TTC while we saved up some money, enjoyed our lives as carefree newlyweds, and I established my new law practice. Baby had a different plan, though... and I'm due in August. After the initial shock and "OH NO!!!" moment, we really got on board and now I realize that for us, this is as good of time as any. We are having to tighten our budget a little in expectation of our arrival, but I agree, babies will always be a financial strain, whether now or in a few years.
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So my fiance and i were talking about when we will start a family and he says when we are financially ready but i feel that no matter how much money u have u will never be financially ready for a child. How do you guys feel about this? how long will you be waiting after getting married?