How many +1's did you invite?

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: How Many +1's did you invite?
    0-10% of invites (we didn't invite anyone we didn't know well) : (14 votes)
    45 %
    10-20% of invites : (4 votes)
    13 %
    20-30% of invites : (3 votes)
    10 %
    30-40% of invites : (0 votes)
    40+% of invites (everyone got a date) : (10 votes)
    32 %
  • Post # 3
    330 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I said 0-10%, but it was less a function of only inviting people we know very well and more a function of a huge guest list full of mostly married/engaged folks where we knew both halves of the couples.  I mean, I don’t count DH’s friends’ wives/FI’s as plus-ones because I hang out with them independently.  We extended plus-one’s to the over-18 singles, who were mostly on my side of the bridal party, but no one took us up on it, remarkably (they all said they’d have more fun/be more available for bridal party stuff solo, and all knew other people who were invited).  I think we had maybe 2 people bring plus-one’s we didn’t really know that well.

    Wedding crashers (as in, people who knew people who were invited but were not, themselves, invited) actually made up a larger portion of the people in the room the night of our wedding.  But DH’s family is insane, so there’s that.

    Post # 4
    220 posts
    Helper bee

    Too many!! I invited everyone with a guest. Believe me I didn’t want to but I felt like it was the right think to do. All of my guests are adults. However, I’m not judging people that don’t! It gets so crazy…and expensive!

    Post # 5
    8482 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    We gave everyone a plus one (married couples were invited together).

    Post # 6
    8720 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    We are allowing every guest a +1

    Post # 7
    7273 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    We invited every partner we knew of, even if they’d only been dating recently, but we gave no random plus ones. As far as I can remember, out of 100 guests: 66 were married (yeah lots of relatives!), 14 (7 couples) were unmarried, and 20 were single. i.e. out of 27 single friends/relatives, 7 had partners we knew of, and we invited all of those 7.

    Post # 8
    480 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    We invited +1s for anyone that we knew had a long term partner.  If we knew they were single or if it was a new relationship and we hadn’t met the other half, we didn’t invite them.

    Post # 9
    258 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    We named EVERYONE on our invites. Our “criteria” for inviting partners was that e person we knew lived with them. Our venue had a very strict capacity, and we decided we wanted people we know there. No one declined based on our decision to only invite partners in this way. 

    Post # 10
    11300 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I voted 0-10%, but I guess it depends on what you consider a +1. Most of our friends/family are married or in a LTR. We invited a couple of friends with +1s (people we don’t know). FI’s younger siblings (18 and 16) did not get +1s. My cousin (21) did not get a +1. We extended a +1 to our only single adult GM, but he declined (he’s coming from another state and wasn’t going to find a date and will know tons of people at the wedding). We already had to cut out people we DO know, why would we invite people we don’t?


    Post # 11
    323 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    Everyone gets a plus one. I don’t care if they bring a boyfriend or girlfriend or just a friend, a mother, a father, or other family member.

    For me, personally, I don’t like trying to guess how serious relationships are or aren’t, and while I could have fallen back on the tried and true married, engaged, or living together, I really didn’t care if my guests brought a martian from mars to my wedding. If that would make them happy, then why not? My venue can accomodate 50-750, and we’re only looking at 200 guests, so no biggie there!

    Post # 12
    2740 posts
    Sugar bee

    We had a family + 10 of DH’s parent’s neighbors so no one officially received a +1 (heck the neighbors didn’t even receive an invitation but they came anyway). The only person who brought a +1 was the neighbor’s 25 year old son who is also DH’s good friend. Both were not officially invited but what can you do.

    We named couples together though. All engaged or married couples got an invitation together. The only adult who wasn’t dating anyone did not get a +1 but her entire family was staying at DH’s parent’s house anyway and they don’t like to pay for hotels so I don’t know where the +1 would have stayed. I don’t know what we would have done if she was dating anyone though.

    Post # 13
    917 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    Our guest list is really tight, so only people who are actually in relationships were invited with a date. Our single people will know plenty of others, and we didn’t have room to give them a +1.

    Post # 14
    682 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    We invited every SO by name if we knew it, and gave a +1 to every single guest.  I didn’t see a problem with “strangers” at my wedding because I trusted my friends and family to only bring people that would be polite and respectful, and the few guests that chose to use their +1s (hardly any did) came through on that.   I’m really glad we invited +1s, because at least 2 guests had SOs that we weren’t aware of, and I would’ve felt bad finding out after that I’d excluded someone’s SO (having been on the other side of that, it sucks!)

    Post # 15
    8282 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I voted the least percentage. Only 3 guests were provided a +1 since they were all in long-term relationships. Actually 1 now is married, 1 engaged, & 1 living together. 

    Post # 16
    420 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    Like many of the pod everyone who is married, engaged, living together, or considers themselves to be in a serious relationship is getting invited witon their significant other.  Beyond that, only members of the bridal party are being invited with plus ones.  For those under 18, no plus ones.  I’d guess 85-90% of adults over 18 are invited with their significant other or a plus one.

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