I'm trying to decide on whether or not to have a seating chart. My family is very loud and fun, where the groom's family is calm and conservative. A lot of them can be pretty judgemental (old school southerners) too. I want everyone to be comfortable, so I was just wondering about who is having a seating chart and why. I haven't been to many weddings, so I have little to compare to when it comes ot finding a seat.
I personally would only do a seating chart if you have 2 different meal choices and you need to make different name cards based on what they are eating. We are only having one meal choice so no seating chart for us!! I preferred not to have a seating chart because I can't read the minds of my guests and who they want to sit with. For example, we have table rounds 10 seats per table. I am inviting 16 people from work and I know some get along with others so I would rather they bicker amongst themselves who sits where then them coming after me for putting them with someone they did not want to be with or don't get along with. Good luck!
We're giving guests a table number to sit at but not a specific place at the table.
It's sort of a good way to think about the kinds of issues you addressed in your post, but it isn't a full out "seating chart."
We're trying to sit groups together who, even if they haven't ever met, would be comfortable with one another, and other tables will be filled with groups of people who all know one another (coworkers, maternal Aunts & Uncles etc...) it makes it kind of easy.
I recommend no seating chart. I have been to a lot of weddings. I have only been to one with a seating chart, and we ended up not staying at that table after we ate. Call us crazy, but our guest list will end up being over 700 people (yes a 7 and 2-0's), but that is normal in my area. Everyone will find a seat...and even if they end up sitting with someone they don't know or do not get along with, it is ok, they don't have to stay there the rest of the night! Also, this is one less thing for you to plan!
I on the other hand, I highly recommend a seating chart. You want family members to have some of the closest tables and to be able to sit together. You don't want grandmom and pop pop to have to take that table right in front of the band because it is the only one left. EVERY wedding I have been to has had a seating chart or escort cards.
I'm only having tables 1-10 reserved for family members, 1 table reserved for co-workers (because they don't know your family or friends) and the rest of the tables can be chosen by the guests. It's too difficult to read minds and know if people get along with another person.
Table assignments are great - it is very awkward otherwise for people to figure out who to sit with and someone will get left out, tables will have empty spots, its just a big mass of confusion. You don't have to read minds for this, you know who your guests know and usually who they get along with.
I actually found this quite easy (we had 150 ppl) and I think it makes the whole thing flow a lot better. And if people really don't like someone, if you just assign tables and not seats, then they have their choice of who to sit next to. I personally think it is a considerate thing to do - well assuming you don't have 700 guests like jackee05!!!
I have never been to a wedding without a seating chart either.
We are having a seating chart. Our wedding and reception are in the same hall, and they will be seated in their assigned seats for the wedding and for dinner.
I do not assume they will be staying in that same seat all night...but for the wedding and for dinner is what the seating arrangement is for really.... :)
I think it depends. Every wedding I've attended has had a seating chart, but I think thats also because people think that you HAVE to have one.
For the suggestion that its to know whos eating what, that just doesnt make sense to me. At every wedding I've been to, I've also noticed that the tables' assigned waiter has come out and we've placed our meal orders with them. Chances are if someone RSVP'd 6 months earlier as chicken, they may order beef instead on that day. But maybe thats just where I'm from.
I also find that people with bigger weddings who invite co-workers, casual aquaintances, aunt bettys friends daughter, the mailman, and so on, also have seating charts to keep guests in their perspective corners. I think thats too much like segregation to me.
As for me, we're only inviting close family and friends so we dont feel a seating chart is necessary. People can feel free to roam and mingle throughout the night.
I will be having 16 round tables and the rest are rectangle tables so that all 500 guests can fit into this room. I will only be reserving the 16 round tables for family and OUR friends. The rest of family friends will find a seat anywhere.
I will have table titles (groom's hs firends or bride's college firends) and then a list of all the names or people sitting at that table placed in a nice picture frame for only those 16 tables.
The reason why this is ok and not unfair....1) most of the 'family' friends will eat and go home. Every Korean wedding I've been to, after they get their buffet food, they will sit and eat, and by the time the groom and bride enters the room, they are done and ready to go home...ha!
We did not assign seats or tables. We did reserve three tables for family. I guess it really depends on your guests - I have never felt *awkward* about trying to find a seat without a seating chart, and both DH and I agree that we have had loads of fun at events where we sat with people we already knew, and also where we sat with people we have never met before. We trusted our guests to be able to figure it out on their own, and they seemed to do just fine. We noticed throughout the evening, and looking at photos afterward, that most people sat with a few people they already knew, and a few people that they didn't, and it appeared that everybody got along just fine, met a few new people, and had a wonderful time.
And I'm not trying to be snarky, but I do feel the need to say: Come on! Get over that whole junior high school cafeteria thing. Walk into the room like a confident and grown-up person. Figuring out where to sit shouldn't feel awkward, unless you somehow doubt your ability to land at a table full of people who are happy to sit with you.
That said, you probably want to follow a couple of rules if you're not assigning seating (or even if you are). First - recognize whether most of your guests come in pairs. Our caterer oddly tried to talk us into seven-person tables, which would have been quite the disaster as most of our guests are pairs. Second - provide a couple of extra tables. That way nobody is forced to sit apart from their date, because the only seats left are singles, and nobody is forced to sit with anyone they really don't want to - if that situation exists on your guest list. Yes, you end up with a few empty seats, but I think that's a small price to pay for not having to spend the time to make a seating chart!!
Do you mean a chart to tell people what table to sit at, or a chart saying which seat at which table to sit at? Honestly, it probably really doesn't matter. But I really don't like the idea of not assigning at least tables. I just think you know who wants to sit with who. Most people will walk in and expect to be seated somewhere in particular. That alone may cause confusion. Then it will be difficult to serve if you are having more than one choice. And then people will sit wherever, some people might get split up, some people don't want to sit with strangers, sorry Suzanno - some people just don't like it, and I don't think it means they need to grow up. And you also have to make sure there are the right number of seats at each table. As difficult as making seating charts is, I think its a million times easier than letting people choose where they want to sit.
If I turned up at a wedding and there was no seating organised I would be really surprised and not very happy. I think it is the responsibility of the bride and groom to ensure their guests are as comfortable as possible and that means making sure each person gets a seat next to at least one other person they know. If you don't do a seating chart, you don't allow for the five colleagues (for example) who only know each other and find four free seats left at one table and one at another.
I can understand just asigning tables, but not putting any effort into it at all would appear thoughtless to me.
We had a small, fairly casual wedding, but we did do assigned seating. There were several groups of ones and twos who didn't know anyone else at the party and I wanted to be sure they weren't left wandering trying to find a place to sit or feeling alone You know the middle school cafeteria feeling wandering around with your plate of food looking for a familiar person to sit with? SO not what I wanted our guests to feel!
With four long tables, I also didn't want to end up with one empty chair here, two there and watch families have to split up for dinner. So we attached name tags to the straws in the glasses at the cocktail hour to direct people to their seats and had a chart at the entrance just to be on the safe side. Everyone seemed to have a fabulous time and my MIL who was against the assigned seating complimented me on it afterwards saying she thought it contributed to everyone having someone to talk to during dinner.
We are assigning tables for our small wedding. We were going to do open seating, but after discussing it and reading the pros/cons on other threads, we felt this was the best choice for our group. For our family, they will appreciate not having to sort out where to sit. If people aren't happy, we'll certain they'll migrate to a new table or find somewhere else to sit after dinner (we'll have additional seating inside around the dance floor).
We opted for assigned tables because FI's 90 year grandmother doesn't need to be seated next to our very kind-hearted but incredibly foul-mouthed friend. Overall, I think people will be happy and, if not, it's one night for a couple of hours tops. Most people can make it. :) Assigning tables gives you some control, but allows individuals to pick their seats within the group. Not a bad compromise.
I would recommend thinking about the table groupings (or seat assignments) well in advance - set something up, then put it aside and revisit it later. We're still tweaking ours, but it's been a fun task.
I think it's important to have assigned tables (but not specific seats). I hate it when I go to receptions and people are scrambling to put sweaters and purses down at tables where they want to sit or leaning cchairs into the tables.
If you know few other people there it's awkward to go around the room looking for seats where the chairs haven't been taken and asking people if you may join their group. If you know a lot of people and want to sit with your friends, then your focus is on rushing to a table to get seats together rather than enjoying the appetizers and greeting other guests. I appreciate thoughtful brides and grooms who make the time to plan table assignments for their guests. Of course once dinner is over it's always fun to mingle but it's great to arrive and know that the tables for dinner have already been assigned.
I for one do not prefer to attend wedding receptions where there is a free for all for seats especially if I don't know very many people. I have also been to weddings were 'her" family sits together and "his" family sits together and no one leaves none the wiser about the other side.
So we are assigning tables. I tried to mix it up and create tables with people who have things in common, etc. Dinner is only an hour- they can make it.
I have a few thoughts from my wedding experiences lately. If there is going to be a formal dinner served (buffet or plated) I definitely prefer to have at least a table to sit at assigned to me.
A specific seat at a specific table should be used if you have the guest select the meal when they RSVP. I just went to a wedding and they didn't do that and the waiter asked me what I had ordered. Well, I'd RSVP'd two months ago and had no idea what I ordered. I also thought it was a little inconsiderate of the host to ask me to decide upfront and then not make my decision easy for the catering staff.
Another thought - if you have a small venue and tables will have to be moved for dancing - think of putting your family at those. I just went to a wedding where this happened and those people that had to move were put out. As a family member, if they'd told me about that upfront, I would have voluntarily sat there in order to take the inconvenience away from other guests.
One more and I'll be quiet. If you reserve tables for family PLEASE let them know what family (ie - immediate, cousins, etc.). I was at a wedding where cousins took the tables and the parents had to find another seat! Alternatively, just put "reserved" and then tell those that you've reserved the tables for that they should sit there.
Seating assignments OR table assignments are a MUST for weddings! Your guests expect that you will have put thought into where you want them seated and with whom they will sit. When you don't at least have table assignments, it creates an uncomfortable and somtimes chaotic situation at the beginning of your reception where guests are wandering around trying to find enough seats for themselves or their family.
I was at a wedding this weekend that did not offer any seating assignments. Not only was the situation uncomfortable as guests rushed in and tried to "claim" seats, when my husband and I got up to get our meal, another family swooped in and took our seats!!! Totally serious! It happened because there was no assigned seating!
I thought you were asking about a seating chart for the ceremony! ARE YOU? I suggest seating chart for ceremony (up to a point) AND reception. I cannot imagine you not having a seating chart /table assignment for the reception, it will eliminate SOOOO many problems, plus there are things we attend where just by luck we happen to get a bad seat, then we are unhappy, if someone seats us at a table we dont think twice. As for the ceremony, I am seating the first 4 rows, then after that its a free for all! Dont even consider no table assignment for the reception!
I'm trying to decide on whether or not to have a seating chart. My family is very loud and fun, where the groom's family is calm and conservative. A lot of them can be pretty judgemental (old school southerners) too. I want everyone to be comfortable, so I was just wondering about who is having a seating chart and why. I haven't been to many weddings, so I have little to compare to when it comes ot finding a seat.
posted by bree72 89 posts 3 months agoI personally would only do a seating chart if you have 2 different meal choices and you need to make different name cards based on what they are eating. We are only having one meal choice so no seating chart for us!! I preferred not to have a seating chart because I can't read the minds of my guests and who they want to sit with. For example, we have table rounds 10 seats per table. I am inviting 16 people from work and I know some get along with others so I would rather they bicker amongst themselves who sits where then them coming after me for putting them with someone they did not want to be with or don't get along with. Good luck!
posted by wubz 80 posts 3 months agoWe're giving guests a table number to sit at but not a specific place at the table.
It's sort of a good way to think about the kinds of issues you addressed in your post, but it isn't a full out "seating chart."
We're trying to sit groups together who, even if they haven't ever met, would be comfortable with one another, and other tables will be filled with groups of people who all know one another (coworkers, maternal Aunts & Uncles etc...) it makes it kind of easy.
posted by HappiestOne 97 posts 3 months agoI recommend no seating chart. I have been to a lot of weddings. I have only been to one with a seating chart, and we ended up not staying at that table after we ate. Call us crazy, but our guest list will end up being over 700 people (yes a 7 and 2-0's), but that is normal in my area. Everyone will find a seat...and even if they end up sitting with someone they don't know or do not get along with, it is ok, they don't have to stay there the rest of the night! Also, this is one less thing for you to plan!
posted by jackee05 2 posts 3 months agoI on the other hand, I highly recommend a seating chart. You want family members to have some of the closest tables and to be able to sit together. You don't want grandmom and pop pop to have to take that table right in front of the band because it is the only one left. EVERY wedding I have been to has had a seating chart or escort cards.
posted by Candi1024 304 posts 3 months agoI'm only having tables 1-10 reserved for family members, 1 table reserved for co-workers (because they don't know your family or friends) and the rest of the tables can be chosen by the guests. It's too difficult to read minds and know if people get along with another person.
posted by MsJadey 141 posts 3 months agoTable assignments are great - it is very awkward otherwise for people to figure out who to sit with and someone will get left out, tables will have empty spots, its just a big mass of confusion. You don't have to read minds for this, you know who your guests know and usually who they get along with.
I actually found this quite easy (we had 150 ppl) and I think it makes the whole thing flow a lot better. And if people really don't like someone, if you just assign tables and not seats, then they have their choice of who to sit next to. I personally think it is a considerate thing to do - well assuming you don't have 700 guests like jackee05!!!
I have never been to a wedding without a seating chart either.
posted by Janna19 343 posts 3 months agoWe are having a seating chart. Our wedding and reception are in the same hall, and they will be seated in their assigned seats for the wedding and for dinner.
I do not assume they will be staying in that same seat all night...but for the wedding and for dinner is what the seating arrangement is for really.... :)
posted by cassiereanne 76 posts 3 months agoI think it depends. Every wedding I've attended has had a seating chart, but I think thats also because people think that you HAVE to have one.
For the suggestion that its to know whos eating what, that just doesnt make sense to me. At every wedding I've been to, I've also noticed that the tables' assigned waiter has come out and we've placed our meal orders with them. Chances are if someone RSVP'd 6 months earlier as chicken, they may order beef instead on that day. But maybe thats just where I'm from.
I also find that people with bigger weddings who invite co-workers, casual aquaintances, aunt bettys friends daughter, the mailman, and so on, also have seating charts to keep guests in their perspective corners. I think thats too much like segregation to me.
As for me, we're only inviting close family and friends so we dont feel a seating chart is necessary. People can feel free to roam and mingle throughout the night.
posted by MissCamera 75 posts 2 months agoI will be having 16 round tables and the rest are rectangle tables so that all 500 guests can fit into this room. I will only be reserving the 16 round tables for family and OUR friends. The rest of family friends will find a seat anywhere.
I will have table titles (groom's hs firends or bride's college firends) and then a list of all the names or people sitting at that table placed in a nice picture frame for only those 16 tables.
The reason why this is ok and not unfair....1) most of the 'family' friends will eat and go home. Every Korean wedding I've been to, after they get their buffet food, they will sit and eat, and by the time the groom and bride enters the room, they are done and ready to go home...ha!
posted by Novbride08 62 posts 2 months agoWe did not assign seats or tables. We did reserve three tables for family. I guess it really depends on your guests - I have never felt *awkward* about trying to find a seat without a seating chart, and both DH and I agree that we have had loads of fun at events where we sat with people we already knew, and also where we sat with people we have never met before. We trusted our guests to be able to figure it out on their own, and they seemed to do just fine. We noticed throughout the evening, and looking at photos afterward, that most people sat with a few people they already knew, and a few people that they didn't, and it appeared that everybody got along just fine, met a few new people, and had a wonderful time.
And I'm not trying to be snarky, but I do feel the need to say: Come on! Get over that whole junior high school cafeteria thing. Walk into the room like a confident and grown-up person. Figuring out where to sit shouldn't feel awkward, unless you somehow doubt your ability to land at a table full of people who are happy to sit with you.
That said, you probably want to follow a couple of rules if you're not assigning seating (or even if you are). First - recognize whether most of your guests come in pairs. Our caterer oddly tried to talk us into seven-person tables, which would have been quite the disaster as most of our guests are pairs. Second - provide a couple of extra tables. That way nobody is forced to sit apart from their date, because the only seats left are singles, and nobody is forced to sit with anyone they really don't want to - if that situation exists on your guest list. Yes, you end up with a few empty seats, but I think that's a small price to pay for not having to spend the time to make a seating chart!!
posted by suzanno 1,978 posts 2 months agoDo you mean a chart to tell people what table to sit at, or a chart saying which seat at which table to sit at? Honestly, it probably really doesn't matter. But I really don't like the idea of not assigning at least tables. I just think you know who wants to sit with who. Most people will walk in and expect to be seated somewhere in particular. That alone may cause confusion. Then it will be difficult to serve if you are having more than one choice. And then people will sit wherever, some people might get split up, some people don't want to sit with strangers, sorry Suzanno - some people just don't like it, and I don't think it means they need to grow up. And you also have to make sure there are the right number of seats at each table. As difficult as making seating charts is, I think its a million times easier than letting people choose where they want to sit.
posted by dreambml 429 posts 2 months agoIf I turned up at a wedding and there was no seating organised I would be really surprised and not very happy. I think it is the responsibility of the bride and groom to ensure their guests are as comfortable as possible and that means making sure each person gets a seat next to at least one other person they know. If you don't do a seating chart, you don't allow for the five colleagues (for example) who only know each other and find four free seats left at one table and one at another.
I can understand just asigning tables, but not putting any effort into it at all would appear thoughtless to me.
posted by NearlyMsSubrosa 12 posts 2 months agoWe had a small, fairly casual wedding, but we did do assigned seating. There were several groups of ones and twos who didn't know anyone else at the party and I wanted to be sure they weren't left wandering trying to find a place to sit or feeling alone You know the middle school cafeteria feeling wandering around with your plate of food looking for a familiar person to sit with? SO not what I wanted our guests to feel!
With four long tables, I also didn't want to end up with one empty chair here, two there and watch families have to split up for dinner. So we attached name tags to the straws in the glasses at the cocktail hour to direct people to their seats and had a chart at the entrance just to be on the safe side. Everyone seemed to have a fabulous time and my MIL who was against the assigned seating complimented me on it afterwards saying she thought it contributed to everyone having someone to talk to during dinner.
Hope that helps. Good luck on the big day!
posted by Lizliterarius 34 posts 2 months agoWe are assigning tables for our small wedding. We were going to do open seating, but after discussing it and reading the pros/cons on other threads, we felt this was the best choice for our group. For our family, they will appreciate not having to sort out where to sit. If people aren't happy, we'll certain they'll migrate to a new table or find somewhere else to sit after dinner (we'll have additional seating inside around the dance floor).
We opted for assigned tables because FI's 90 year grandmother doesn't need to be seated next to our very kind-hearted but incredibly foul-mouthed friend. Overall, I think people will be happy and, if not, it's one night for a couple of hours tops. Most people can make it. :) Assigning tables gives you some control, but allows individuals to pick their seats within the group. Not a bad compromise.
I would recommend thinking about the table groupings (or seat assignments) well in advance - set something up, then put it aside and revisit it later. We're still tweaking ours, but it's been a fun task.
posted by missm 485 posts 2 months agoI think it's important to have assigned tables (but not specific seats). I hate it when I go to receptions and people are scrambling to put sweaters and purses down at tables where they want to sit or leaning cchairs into the tables.
If you know few other people there it's awkward to go around the room looking for seats where the chairs haven't been taken and asking people if you may join their group. If you know a lot of people and want to sit with your friends, then your focus is on rushing to a table to get seats together rather than enjoying the appetizers and greeting other guests. I appreciate thoughtful brides and grooms who make the time to plan table assignments for their guests. Of course once dinner is over it's always fun to mingle but it's great to arrive and know that the tables for dinner have already been assigned.
posted by Surgie 55 posts 2 months agoI for one do not prefer to attend wedding receptions where there is a free for all for seats especially if I don't know very many people. I have also been to weddings were 'her" family sits together and "his" family sits together and no one leaves none the wiser about the other side.
So we are assigning tables. I tried to mix it up and create tables with people who have things in common, etc. Dinner is only an hour- they can make it.
posted by cbkj 38 posts 2 months agoI have a few thoughts from my wedding experiences lately. If there is going to be a formal dinner served (buffet or plated) I definitely prefer to have at least a table to sit at assigned to me.
A specific seat at a specific table should be used if you have the guest select the meal when they RSVP. I just went to a wedding and they didn't do that and the waiter asked me what I had ordered. Well, I'd RSVP'd two months ago and had no idea what I ordered. I also thought it was a little inconsiderate of the host to ask me to decide upfront and then not make my decision easy for the catering staff.
Another thought - if you have a small venue and tables will have to be moved for dancing - think of putting your family at those. I just went to a wedding where this happened and those people that had to move were put out. As a family member, if they'd told me about that upfront, I would have voluntarily sat there in order to take the inconvenience away from other guests.
One more and I'll be quiet. If you reserve tables for family PLEASE let them know what family (ie - immediate, cousins, etc.). I was at a wedding where cousins took the tables and the parents had to find another seat! Alternatively, just put "reserved" and then tell those that you've reserved the tables for that they should sit there.
posted by roseskier1 65 posts 2 months agoSeating assignments OR table assignments are a MUST for weddings! Your guests expect that you will have put thought into where you want them seated and with whom they will sit. When you don't at least have table assignments, it creates an uncomfortable and somtimes chaotic situation at the beginning of your reception where guests are wandering around trying to find enough seats for themselves or their family.
I was at a wedding this weekend that did not offer any seating assignments. Not only was the situation uncomfortable as guests rushed in and tried to "claim" seats, when my husband and I got up to get our meal, another family swooped in and took our seats!!! Totally serious! It happened because there was no assigned seating!
posted by Anonymous 27 posts 2 months agoI thought you were asking about a seating chart for the ceremony! ARE YOU? I suggest seating chart for ceremony (up to a point) AND reception. I cannot imagine you not having a seating chart /table assignment for the reception, it will eliminate SOOOO many problems, plus there are things we attend where just by luck we happen to get a bad seat, then we are unhappy, if someone seats us at a table we dont think twice. As for the ceremony, I am seating the first 4 rows, then after that its a free for all! Dont even consider no table assignment for the reception!
posted by ju1244 254 posts 2 months ago