Post # 1
How many bridal showers are you having or did you have? Also how many at each shower? What is your guest list total for the wedding? Also, previous brides do you think having smaller bridal showers 25 or less is better?
Right now I am having 4 showers with 23 or less at each. The reason for so many is different groups and many wanting to host something small. I just dont want it to appear excessive. Maybe I could cut the shower for my friends and just have the bachelorette party?
Post # 3
@Itsallcomingtogether: Ya know, I only had one shower with about 16 people there. But I do know that there are some bees here who have had multiple showers – so i’ll let them do the talking! 🙂
Post # 4
That seems like a lot of showers! I had on shower in my hometown with my friends and my family. There were around 45 in attendance (a lot of my mom’s friends). My MIL threw me a shower in her state for my DH’s family, with around 12 people. I’ve always thought there was just one shower, unless the couple comes from two different parts of the country.
Post # 5
I had three showers for the same reasons as you — the people hosting wanted to split up the groups of guests, and I thought I’d more enjoy having a smaller guest list for each one so I could really enjoy actually getting to talk to all of my guests!
The guest list ranged from 16-24 guests for each:
- Bridal shower 1 was my family and friends of the family
- Bridal shower 2 was my husband’s family and friends of their family
- Bridal shower 3 was my friends.
Because there wasn’t really much overlap in WHO was invited to each (aside from my mom, MIL, and maid of honor), it didn’t feel excessive, and I’d definitely do it the same way over again!
And then because you mentioned the bachelorette party — mine was just my bridesmaids and the two girls who were doing a reading for the ceremony.
Hope that helps. 🙂
Post # 6
I had 2: 1 at work and 1 with family and friends, hosted by my BM.
Post # 7
I’m having two. One was with friends, and about 10 people in total. The other is for family, and the invite list is around 30, but will probably wind up being a little smaller.
Post # 8
@Itsallcomingtogether: I had four showers for my wedding as well. We had a lot of different people volunteer to host and also in multiple cities. I had two where I live now with 30-40 guests at each, one in the city I lived previously with about 30 guests, and one in my hometown with about 12. We invited 400 to the wedding with 250 attending. I felt 30 guests was a pretty good number for each one.
Post # 9
I had one. My MIL threw it. We had under 25 guests and I did prefer that to a larger party.
Post # 10
For friends that both the bride and groom were from the area, one shower. For friends where the bride and groom were from two different areas, ie: CT and MA or NJ and MA, two showers. One by the groom’s family, one by the bride’s. In both situations the groom’s family members wanted their own shower and would have felt slighted had they also not gotten the honor.
Post # 11
I had two, one in my home state for family & friends of my side, one in FI/now-DH’s home state (several states away) for family & friends of his side, so no overlapping guests. Our wedding was in a third state (where we live now) and many people from each side weren’t able to travel to attend it, so it was nice to have the showers that made it possible for more of them to celebrate with us.
Post # 12
I’m having one. I invited 20, we’ll see how many are able to make it. Wedding guest list is 118 or so; we’re expecting around 85 people (it’s a DW)
Post # 13
I am told I will be having two. I was asked if this was ok because FI’s family is huge.
Unfortunately I just read a post about a bunch of bees who had showers and even though almost 30 people were invited – only 7 or so showed up. Many were on-responders to the RSVP.
I think for each of your showers you should make sure the host has the contact numbers of the attendees so they can do a quick reminder call for RSVP’s. I want to make sure my hosts both have this so we can adjust seating and food for how many will likely show.
Other then that – I don’t think the amount of showers is ever an issue, if you have this many people willing to host then I think it will be nice to have them each on a smaller scale.
Post # 14
My first marriage (circa 1980)… my wedding had 100 Guests.
And I ended up with 3 Showers:
- One held by an Auntie for relatives etc, my Bridal Party there etc.
- One held by a Neighbour that included those in the area of town I grew up in.
- And one held by the Church Ladies.
The family one was the largest (I’d say around 30 people). The other two were a tad smaller.
So only the first two showers had a good number of Guests that were also invited to the Wedding… the Church Ladies gave me a shower, lol, cause that is what folks do in a small town !!
All 3 Showers had different people in attendance (as I recall) and all had different themes.
This time round…
Mr TTR and I had one SURPRISE Couples Shower… and it had maybe a dozen or so people at it. And it was fabulous. (This Wedding was and Elopment, just the 2 of us)
— — —
To answer your Question is 4 excessive ?
Maybe YES… Maybe NO
A lot depends on how big is your Wedding (you didn’t say)
And your social circle and customs… as a small town girl… I grew up in a world where everyone knew everyone else… so getting married in my hometown was a big deal. Folks who even weren’t invited would come out to stand on the side-walk to watch the Bride arrive… and members of the Congregation quietly tip-toe up the back stairs to view the Wedding from the Balcony.
And neither Wedding did I have a Bachelorette Party… but I did throw a nice Bridal Luncheon for my Maids in the weeks leading up to my First Wedding.
Hope this helps,
Post # 15
I’m having 2 showers – 1 for my side of the family, 1 for FI’s side. I invited my bridesmaids to both showers, but other than that no friends to either shower. I did have a bachelorette party and some of my friends bought my lingerie at that.
I think having a shower for friends is a little excessive if you are doing a bachelorette party as well.
If you think it’s a lot – you can always cut the ‘shower’ out of the invites and have a ‘luncheon’ instead. That way guests don’t feel obligated to get you gifts!
Post # 16
@This Time Round: I have invited 240 to the wedding.
Right now the showers are as follows…
1. My moms friend: friends of hers that have gotten to know each other over the years as well as developed a relationship with me.
2. My Friends mom: This one is for the mothers and daughters invited to the wedding that we grew up with. Then I also added my coach and people I was in sports with when I was in highschool.
3. Family: This is my sides shower.
4. My friends: This would probably be a person shower and something connected to the bachelorette party. I am the first to get married so all of my friends want to be part of everything.
My fiances family is not throwing me one…. we do not have a great relationship and never have. I think one of the women knows this and that is why she wanted to tthrow one… make sure i still know I am cared…