How many bridemaids? How did you make your decision?

posted 2 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
1779 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

emilyluwest:  I have one maid of honor and one bridesmaid. My MOH is my best friend since 4th grade. She is like a sister to me so it wasn’t actually a decision – we have both always known we would be MOHs at each other’s weddings. My 16 year old cousin is my bridesmaid because she’s the closest female relative I have! We are a smaller family and I’m the oldest and first to get married. I didn’t want to ask my FSIL and don’t have a ton of close female friends anymore.

Nothing wrong with a small bridal party. 🙂

Post # 3
655 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - SPRING VALLEY COUNTRY CLUB

Growing up I didn’t have a lot of close friends. I have four sister’s and I knew at least 3 would be in the wedding.  The others are recent friends.  So I had a total of 8. I now have 7. My older sister is no longer in the wedding. My FI has 9 groomsmen

Post # 4
288 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Tbh, I didn’t want a bridal party.  My FI insisted.  I have 6 to match his 6 groomsmen.  2 Long time childhood friends, 3 newer close friends, and my FSIL.  

Post # 6
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014


emilyluwest:  I have seven maids ( 5 regular, 2 junior), Two are my younger sisters, Three are my close friends and the two junior girls are my neices. I made the choice based on who is really important in my life. I think the people you honor with a spot in your bridal party should be people who are important in your life rather then just people to take up space beside you at the alter.

Post # 7
889 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I would have loved to have had a small bridal party but I have ended up with 7 bridesmaids lol…I literally couldn’t choose between them and would have felt horrendous excluding any of them so, it was all or nothing!

2 are my sisters, 1 is my step-sister, 3 my close friends and 1 is my FI’s (and soon to be mine too) DIL.  Luckily it’s been pretty drama free so far and I haven’t regretted my decision for one minute 🙂 

Post # 8
2649 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I had to make hard cuts.. ppl may be mad at my decision but I didn’t want moer than 3 bridesmaids including MOH — It causes too many opinons and just friction (even in the best of situations)

For you I would say don’t always follow you heart unless you are prepared to deal with the drama later… avoid problems as much as you can is muy advice

Sit down with the two of them (seperately of course) and voice your concerns. Maybe they are even unaware of their behaviour , even though I doubt it

Good luck!

Post # 9
1981 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I have 10, and it was STILL hard for me to get to 10! I have a sister, a close cousin, and a FSIL. Add a couple friends from highschool, college, and grad school- well, you get the idea. I ended up selecting people who I knew would be there for me and not cause too much drama.

One girl in particular (though we were really close and our families are close) had to get cut because she causes a lot of drama and is super flaky. She was asked to step down as a BM in my sister’s wedding bc she was being so negative and difficult about dresses, shoes, hair, etc. She is just WAY into her new boyfriend right now (like in an unhealthy way). When I called her to let her know I picked a date, she didn’t call me back and texted that she didn’t have time to talk to me- all of her free time is dedicated to her relationship. WTF? So, yeah, she’s not a bridesmaid. I’m pretty confident it was the right decision, two weeks ago she was so late to my sister’s wedding she completely missed the ceremony because she took too long to get ready (that started 30 minutes late, that her dad was officiating).

My best advice is listen to your gut, if you are worried about it, don’t make them a bridesmaid. If they really are good friends, they will be excited to be there as a guest.

Post # 10
2358 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Zero bridesmaids, zero mohs, zero groomsmen, zero bms. No flower girl no ring bearer. No drama, perfect wedding.

Post # 11
3836 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

emilyluwest:   I chose my nearest and dearest female friend as my “Best Woman” and am not having any bridesmaids.   FI’s many sisters and sisters-in-law may not have been thrilled but I’d prefer to have them attend as guests than have to deal with the seemingly inevitable drama.  

From what you have written BM1 sounds like a strong choice, it seems she has matured and learned.     Personally I’d avoid the gossipy BM2 like the plague.

Post # 12
1049 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I immediately chose my two best friends of 7+ years, in fact I didn’t really have to choose them, they sort of just assumed they would be and they were right haha.  I couldn’t decide a MOH between them so while we had a dinner party for our closest friends to tell them the news, we organised drinking games to determine which one of them would get that honour lol!  I thought it was great as they knew I love them both the same and the girl that missed out didn’t get upset.  My 13 year old cousin will be a junior bridesmaid.  We aren’t super close as she lives in another state, but she doesn’t have much family and I know it would mean a lot to her plus I was a flowergirl for her parents wedding.  Now we have changed our style to something a lot more DIY, FI’s family has already offered to contribute lots of time and effort which we really appreciate.  To honour that I will have both his sisters as bridesmaids, bringing my number up to something higher than I originally wanted, but I know none of the girls will cause drama.  One of his sisters is now pregnant so I will ask her if it will be too much for her to take on and leave the ball in her court as I don’t mind either way.

FI is going to have his godson as junior groomsmen, his uncle who was like a father figure to him (his father was mostly absent) as best man, our housemate, a new super close friend and an old childhood friend as his groomsmen.  

Flower girls are my sister (7) and my bridesmaids gorgeous daughter who I’ve been an “Aunt” to since she was born.


Post # 13
2051 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I have 6 close friends as bridesmaids. I couldn’t choose between them and wanted them all by my side. I am so happy with my decision as they are all so excited and supportive! 🙂

Post # 14
1491 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I had two bridesmaids….  my best friend/roomie from college was my MOH and a good friend/co-worker from work was my other bridesmaid.   My MOH was a no-brainer, she’s been with me through it ALL and is a very good friend.   My other bridesmaid, my friend from work, I had not known very long, but we had bonded quickly as friends.  She was so excited about my wedding, almost more than I was, lol!   They were amazing as my bridal party, and the two of them quickly became friends.   It was really very awesome.


On the flip side, I ended up not choosing a very good friend as a bridesmaid, despite my wedding daydreams always including her as a bridesmaid. Why?  Because she was going through a separation at the time I got engaged, and was distinctly “meh” about my engagement.  It took her two weeks to even congatulate me on it, and she wasn’t in a very happy head-space at all.  She was hurting from her marriage ending and while I did/do sympathize, I needed someone who was completely on board, excited and looking forward to the planning process and wedding.  


So I wouldn’t worry too much about “who will be here with you through it all the longest” as a method of choosing your bridesmaids. Or even who you’ve been friends with the longest.  I would definitely choose those who you think will be able to support your 110% throughout the entire process and are excited about your wedding.  



Post # 15
1350 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter's Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle

Sister and best friend – I was BM for my sis and one of two guests/witnesses at my best friend’s elopement so it was a no-brainer for me. There are a couple of other very good friends I could have included but FI and I decided two was a number we were both happy with. I’ll be paying for their dresses, hair and makeup so less was better on that front too.

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