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originally I had 5 bridesmaids.. 5 is my favorite number and I felt close to all of them.. but after some conflict (one of bridesmaids thought I was paying for everything, including the dress, bridal shower and bachelorrette party) well long story short, she's out after the other bridesmaids told her she had to pay for own dress and help with the party. she called me saying so sorry and that she can't afford all that right now..
other bridesmaids are happy she's out, they thought she was being selfish..
so I HAVE 4 BRIDESMAIDS NOW :)
what about you?
I had four, and I was incredibly happy with it. I felt like I got to spend plenty of time with everyone at the after party and the bachelorette party. Plus, they're all my best friends :).
I'm having 3 (MOH sister, best friend from college and best friend from high school)
I have 7...3 friends from high school...fsil....cousin....2 close friends
Had 6, but one is unable to travel now due to how far along she'll be in her pregnancy by that point, so I'm going with 5. Mr.ND just asked one of his men to be an usher instead (I told him it was fine to be uneven, but he couldn't have it) so we're 5 and 5 now.
I'm having six - only because we both have pretty large families and couldn't justify excluding anyone.
I had 5. My sister, 2 SIL's, and my 2 best friends. I originally was going to just do my 3 sisters, but I really wanted my 2 besties there beside me too. It worked out great and I loved them all being there for me!
5... my sister is my MOH, my two SIL's, my closest cousin and my childhood best friend
I have 4
My MOH was my best friend.
2 BM's were my sisters and
1 was a good friend.
4 is good, but I don't think she was being "selfish" if she can't afford it the proper thing to do is drop out.
Four. Two bridesmaids and two bridesmen. I don't want to choose a MOH. :)
@NDBee: yeah we're having the same problem now.. the groomsmen are uneven and I told my fiance that's ok but he doesn't know if his cousin will still want to be a groomsman without a partner..
4 is a good number. It isn't too many people, but it spreads out the responsiblity of helping over a few people which is nice.
@vmec: I agree if it was going to be a burden for her she should drop out and I'm glad she did.
but I guess it's just the way she was expecting I'd pay for everything and how she complained the whole time at the dress shop about the prices, I would've quietly told the bride that I couldn't afford instead of making everyone uncomfortable.. when I've gotten asked to be a bridesmaid I assumed I was buying my own dress,
I would never expect the bride who is spending a lot of money already to buy my dress for me.
I'm looking at having 9 bridesmaids! My two sisters as maids of honor, my BFF as matron of honor, his 3 sisters, my current SIL (bro's wife), and 2 of my life-long friends.
Granted, this is quite a few people to have stand, but I wouldn't feel right NOT having each of them stand. Family is important to us, and I remember how honored I was when my SIL asked me to stand in my brother's wedding. Just makes sense!
8! My sister, FI's two sisters, my Little in my sorority, and four best friends from forever!
@pandaboo: I have 5, but NONE of my BMs are paying for the parties they should be throwing, and one thinks shes shouldnt have to pay for her dress. I am happy you got your conflict resolved though!!!
Right now I have 5 but haven't asked them all yet so it may be 4.. I'm stlil torn on one of my girls... also I'll have a "bridesman" so it's beetween 5 and 6 total :)
@pandaboo: Thankfully Mr.ND hadn't officially asked the 6th guy, who is his cousin, so he just explained the situation to him and let the guy choose whether he wanted to be a GM or usher. I'm glad it worked that way, because I didn't want to 'demote' anyone.
@MiniPearl: are they not paying for parties because you don't want them to? or did they make that choice on their own? & yeah it's annoying to have someone who feels they shouldn't be paying for a dress.. when i've gotten asked to be a bridesmaid i felt it was an honor for someone to consider me that close of a friend.
and yeah, I'm happy too! i'm glad she's out because I wouldn't want someone bringing down the excitement of my wedding.. I feel like the other bridesmaids are so happy to be part of my wedding and they're the ones that offered to throw the parties. I feel like bridesmaids should be people who are there to make the wedding planning easier not more stressful.
4 is good.
I had 6, and everything worked out for me, but 4 would have been much more manageable.
@NDBee: yeah it's an awkward situation. but i told my fiance to explain it to his cousin and he can make the decision on his own. :)
i would ask someone else to be a BM but after what I went thru with the friend who dropped out, i realized that bridesmaids should be people who are CURRENTLY really close to you.
I'm not sure exactly how to count ours. We had one maid of honor, and one dude of honor. But then again, we had two brides, so each of us had only one attendant.
@Lindsay12.31.2010: I like 4 too :) I just feel bad for the extra groomsman who's already been asked to be in it but is now without a partner.. :(
I have 6... It's going well... So far! :) My friends/family are pretty awesome so I'm hoping for no dramaz.
@pandaboo: I sort of tend to doubt we had one groomsman, what with the fact we didn't have even one groom. LOL
@TinyTina: that's great!!! i hope it stays like that! it only takes 1 person to start the unnecessary drama!
@blissful_beauty: if you pick the right ones, it'll make the experience that much better :) but if you pick the wrong one(s) that's when it gets stressful. whoever you choose make sure they're really close to you and would be willing to do a lot for you.. i think that was the problem i had, the girl who dropped out used to be my best friend in high school so i wanted to include her but apparently she still didn't see me as that important in her life anymore..
but I can't imagine going thru all this without my remaining BM's , especially my 2 MOH's!
I had 6, and it turned out great, but during the planning process, it proved to be a little overwhelming (too many girls, too many opinions). But on the day of, it was so special to share the day with all of them!
Wanted 2, have five.
Originally wanted just my two best friends- MOH (best friend from high school) and BM (best friend from law school). FI wanted 5 guys, though, minimum, and was adamant that we had to have even sides.
Commence bridesmaid hunt!
We decided since he wanted both of his brothers, I'd ask his sister (we don't get along, but it made his mom really happy), as well as his niece, who's also his goddaughter so they have a really special relationship. She'll be 14 at the time of the wedding and will get to walk with her dad (FI's brother), which is like tear-inducingly cute. Then he had 2 female friends he's been close to since forever. He's very traditional, so didn't want to ask them to stand for him, but I agreed, since I really like both of them, to ask both. One declined- she was uncomfortable being a bridesmaid for someone she's not really super close to and financially she was afraid it would be too much. I totally understood, cause I'd do the same thing in her shoes. The other was super excited about it.
In reality, the shower and bach party planning will fall to the two I originally wanted- FSIL doesn't care, our niece is too young to help much, and FI's friend works a job that has her traveling more than she's home.
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