Post # 1
I’m just about a year away from my wedding. We have been engaged for 7 months, and I am still not decided on how many bridesmaids to have. Our evening wedding will have about 185-200 guests.
I consciously waited several months to ask anyone to be in my bridal party, because I didn’t feel the need to rush and I have heard the horror stories of girls rushing into these big decisions out of excitement and regretting it later.
I started officially asking people a few months ago, and I currently have 5 bridesmaids: two best friends who will share the duty of MOH; my brother’s wife (for whom I was her BM); and two female cousins (for both of whom I was also a BM). I have two more girlfriends that I would like to include, and I know I can’t worry about what anyone else thinks ("seven is too many!" "I only had two bridesmaids and my wedding was bigger than yours!"), but I am still hesitant to make it official.
I have literally been back-and-forth over this dilemma for months. One day I’ll say "five is plenty" but then I feel guilty that my other wonderful friends aren’t included; another day I’ll say "seven it is, who cares about a number!" but I still haven’t been able to ask my last two ‘maids. I am not worried about symmetry, so that’s not even an issue, and my friends are pretty lowkey and have been in weddings before without any conflict, so I’m not even worried about anyone acting out or causing issues.
Everytime I see a photo of a bride with her ‘maids, I now find myself counting how many there are, but I just can’t seem to make up my damn mind!!!
So… how many bridesmaids did/do you have? Was anyone else as conflicted as I seem to be?
Post # 3
my guest list was at your count, and i have 5 girls, and he had 5 guys. (counting the MOH & BM)
Good idea on waiting 🙂 I waited until i had 10 months left before I asked mine!
Post # 4
We’re having a smaller wedding (about 120-130), and we’re having three each.
Post # 5
Our guest list is 200-250 and we are having 4 girls & 4 guys. (including MOH & BM)
Really good idea on waiting before you asked people to stand up. I am one of those people that asked right away and kinda regret it now.
Post # 6
3 gals for me, 3 guys for him, and we had 2 other guys who were ushers.
When we went to the local bridal expo, we were fascinated by one photographer’s display…there was a huge picture of a bridal party taken in a commonly used atrium at the courthouse…the fascinating thing: there were like FOURTEEN! attendents…FOR EACH the bride and the groom!!! So, that’s like a wedding party of 30 people!! I kid you not. We couldn’t stop staring…the photog even came over and told us how many people there were ’cause he said everyone stops and tries to count the people.
Post # 7
Wow, 14 each is definitely a lot!!!! We’re not having any kids in our wedding, so even if I do go with 7 bridesmaids, We’ll have at the most 12 total, including FI’s 5!
If I decide to just stick with the 5 I have, I do feel like I will need to address the matter with the two close friends who would have been #6 and #7. One of these friends was engaged several years ago, and unfortunately the engagement was called off, but I was to be one of her bridesmaids. I know there’s no rule that if I was in hers she has to be in mine, but I think that’s partly making me feel very guilty for considering NOT asking her. *Sigh* here I go again……
Post # 8
I was in a wedding with 12 each! It was a lot. But it didn’t seem too crazy…
That said, we’re having 2 each!
Post # 9
we waited 6+ months before asking anyone and we ended up asking 6 each, 7 friends & 5 siblings. our wedding will be about 150 people. If youre going to ask, do it soon. we asked our girls & guys over a period of a few weeks (since we waited to see all but 1 in person) and the last few knew we had asked others first which made it a little awkward. i still think it was better to wait & tell them in person though!
Post # 10
We got engaged 11 months before we got married. I asked my bridesmaids about 10 months before the wedding. We picked out dresses 7-8 months before the wedding, and ordered them 5 months before the wedding. We asked 3 girls & 3 guys, with an initial invite list of 150ish (which then grew to 170ish, and we had 120 guests come).
I settled on 3 because if I asked any more friends that would have opened up another social group, plus hubby easily picked 3 people but would have had a hard time choosing who to be in the wedding beyond that, and we wanted it to be matched (it ended up not being matched evenly because our Best Man couldn’t get to the wedding due to military obligations… but that’s another story).
I will add that 3 was an easy number to work with in terms of coordinating schedules for shower & dress stuff, not to mention attendant gifts were easier, and I could get them nicer stuff than if I had 10 attendants, plus we could get a smaller limo with a smaller wedding party.
Post # 11
Hi MissBlushing! Fellow Philly bride here! I think you should make the bridesmaid decision solely on your friendship with each girl (i.e., are these girls going to be in your life forever and who you want to stand up for you?). If you think so, then include them! We’re having 9 bridesmaids and 5 groomsmen, and we’re also hoping for about 180-200 guests. I’ve gotten some comments about the size of the wedding party and the un-evenness, but noone really cares. I also did not ask one girl whose wedding i was in. I guess one other consideration is the expense- more BMs means more bouquets, BM gifts, people at the rehearsal… plus it is so expensive to be a bridesmaid these days. But overall- I say add ’em in!
Post # 12
We have 5 bridesmaids and 5 groomsmen and 1 junior bridesmaid and 1 junior groomsmen.
Post # 13
I’m having 5 on each side plus a jr BM abd GM – and NO 7 is not too many! Who cares how big the wedding is, and how many someone else had. So you have more people you want to stand up with you – thats great! All those people who love you and have shared in your life, I think having as many as you want is just the right amount!
Post # 14
Just a maid of honor and a best man.
Post # 15
I was one of the brides that jumped the gun – I asked my ‘maids the same week I got engaged. It’s all worked out though. 🙂 I have four total – two MoH’s and two ‘maids.
Post # 16
we had 150 guests and 7 attendants each. i used to wonder if we should have only had siblings (meaning 2 attendants each), because coordinating 7 people cross-country is difficult, and the more attendants, the more expensive it gets with gifts and whatnot…and the non-siblings would have understood if it was family only. but the non-sibling bridesmaids were much more helpful in planning, and i’m just as close to some of them as to my sisters. it didn’t seem too large at the wedding, maybe because we didn’t have a head table. i don’t regret it one bit!