Post # 1
I’m interested in hearing others opinions on this.
So I have a friend (We will call her XYZ for the sake of the post) that had a lot of things happen for her within a year (she finally finished her bachelors, she bought a house, got engaged and planned to have the wedding within the same year) I was happy for her and didnt think much of it until a year later our other friend made a snarky joke about ‘the year of XYZ’. When I asked her what she meant she pointed out that XYZ had thrown herself a, two Engagement parties, two Bridal Showers, a Housewarming party, a Graduation party, a Bachelorette party, a Birthday party, a Birthday party for her now Husband and then a Wedding (so about 10 celebrations in all). My friend thought that XYZ particulary throwing herself a Housewarming, Birthday & Graduation party amoungst all the wedding stuff was inappropriate and thought it rude to expect so much (and felt uncomfortably obligated to attend). XYZ feels that she desereved all the celebrations and argues that this would be a non-issue if they just didnt happen to fall into the same year. It has since caused a bit of seperation between the two of them (the three of us have been close friends for a very long time). I’m doing my best to remain neutral but I would like to hear opinions.
So I guess my question is, do you agree with my friend? If you happen to have many celebrations fall within a year should you be selective of the ones you chose to make into an event? Or do you think XYZ had every right to have all those celebrations? Have you been in a situation similar to this? I’d love to hear how it turned out.
Post # 3
Did she plan and throw ALL these parties herself? Brides and grooms should NOT throw their own engagement parties, showers, or bachelor/bachelorettes.
It does seem a little gift grabby, especially the housewarming AND two showers, especially if she hosted the showers herself.
Post # 4
I don’t feel like XYZ should have missed out on celebrations just because they fell close together. The fact that most people have a short attention span/memory and don’t put together how many celebrations others have because they are spread out isn’t her problem. I think it is petty that people would care if they are close together. Why should anyone have less because of timing?
Post # 5
I agree with your friend, especially if the same group was invited to or felt obligated to, attend them all. There IS a limit in how much you can expect from people, and she went too far, IMO>
Post # 6
If she expected gifts or threw her own showers, that’s going too far. If she just loves to entertain and threw herself a lot of parties and provided the food/alcohol, and didn’t expect gifts, then more power to her! No one is obligated to attend.
Post # 8
To follow up on some questions;
She ‘technically’ threw these parties herself. The 2 showers and 2 engagement parties happened because she wanted to have a party in her hometown and one in her current town so ‘no one felt left out or obligated to drive far’. Her mother hosted the 2 hometown ones and she hosted the other 2 at her place. She lives 2 hrs from her hometown, so it kinda ended up being the same people at both anyway.
Her Maid/Matron of Honor hosted the bachelorette party. Otherwise, the rest were her. I ended up going to both showers but didnt bring a gift the the second and she didnt say anything.
Thanks for all the responses so far!
Post # 9
I think it would depend on if she hosted the pre-wedding parties (as opposed to someone throwing them for her) and if guest lists overlapped (was everyone invited to both showers and both engagement parties?). If she hosted and/or had over-lapping guests lists, then I agree with your friend that it’s too much.
For the other parties, I think it’s fine she had them – but I love me a good party. But if she expected gifts at all of those events as well, then I do think it is excessive.
EDIT: Ooops, we were posting at the same time. So she hosted her own AND had overlapping guests lists? That is way too much.