(Closed) How many gifts does a bridesmaid give?

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
129 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

When I’ve been a maid, I gave a gift at each shower, and the wedding. I may have gotten less expensive gifts than I’d usually give, if I had 3 showers and a bachelorette, instead of just 1 shower, but I brought a gift to each. 

If you usually spend $50-75 on a shower gift, maybe aim for 20-25 per shower/party. It’s not a lot, but that way you can give a little at each. 

In my experience, hosts give a gift, as well as the guests. 

Post # 4
Member
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

One thing I’ve seen suggested on the boards before is getting a present that has multiple parts, and spreading them out over a couple of showers.  I have a friend who registered for a relatively inexpensive set of cookware (like $20 for a couple of muffin pans and cooling racks and maybe something else).  Perhaps you could find something like that and split it into multiple shower gifts.  Or get a pan, some oven mitts, an apron, etc, so there’s something for her to open each time, but not a lot of $$.  At the very least, I’d include a nice (and different) card wishing her well for each event.

For the bachelorette party, my instinct is that no gifts are necessary, but maybe pay a portion of her meal or bar tab for the evening. 

 Good luck!

Post # 5
Member
390 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

The last time I was a bridesmaid, I paid for part of the shower and gave a gift (though it cost less than I would have spent if I had not been paying for the shower).  The personal shower and bachelorette party were held one right after the other; I gave a gift at the personal shower and contributed to her tab when we went out afterwards.  I don’t know if there’s a "rule" you can follow on how many gifts to give; if you are unsure of what you want to do, maybe consider purchasing a gift you can give in pieces/sections or multiple gifts that are less expensive for each shower.  

Post # 6
Member
2433 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’m going to agree with the general consensus here and say go with an inexpensive gift at each shower. The bride should understand that you’re attending all of the showers (And hosting one!). I don’t think she’ll feel snubbed.. this is also a great opportunity to maybe snatch up a few of the inexpensive gifts on her registry that she needs for her kitchen but other people may not get her if they’re only attending one shower.

Post # 7
Member
699 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I agree with the other posts.

I would save a little up for the personal shower gift as sometimes those things cost more than you would expect!

Post # 8
Member
453 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I like the idea of giving a gift that has multiple parts and giving one at each shower, or a theme gift(s) that are spread out. I did an outdoor kind of theme for one wedding I was in-a monogrammed doormat for their front door with their new last name on it, house numbers from LLBean, and then a bird feeder and seed for their new backyard-all together was under $100.

Post # 9
Member
2434 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

I give 1 shower gift (if there are multiple showers, I only give once), something tiny for the bachelorette (like a corsage to wear for the evening), and a wedding gift.

It’s up to you which you give a gift at, but I would think the first shower, so the bride knows you aren’t just not getting something.

Post # 10
Member
89 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

I do what rosychicklet had suggested as well.  One shower gift, one bachelorette gift and one wedding gift.  Usually, the bachelorette gift is a small and over the top item.  I wouldn’t have expected anything more for my own wedding.

Good luck!

Post # 11
Member
2250 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

All you maids out there if you are strapped for cash but want to get a nice gift go to your favorite Ross or TJMaxx ang get a lingere box/ They run from $10-20 and you can add some scented paper or other good smelling things. If she gets lots of lingere it is a great place to store it! I have done it 3 times and each time they said it was great to have a hidden place to store their new pretty lingere until the wedding!

Post # 12
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I’m in the same boat as you but worst! I’m the maid of honor and I’m the groom’s sister.  So I’ve thrown the bachelorette party, lingerie shower and helping my parents with Rehearsal dinner.  Plus I’ve bought some of the decorations for the wedding.  So what I did was spent about $20 on each gift for each of the parties.  I even went in on the bridal shower gift with my mom.  You might want to ask the other Bridesmaids if they want to go in on a gift.  I’m sure they are feeling the same way as you.

 

I am not doing a wedding gift because I’ve just bought the chocolates, goodie boxes and a couple of the centerpieces.  So I’ve told them that was my wedding gift.  They both completly understand and apprecitate the help for the wedding cost.

 

Good luck!

Post # 13
Member
7054 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I always gave one gift per each shower.  I also did something "fun" for bachelorette parties..One of my fav things to do was buy for the bachelorette party a corsage..that was really made of (folded just right and almost looked exactly like a real corsage) a piece of lingerie!

But do what is appropriate for your budget.  I think the other suggestions are great also!

Post # 14
Member
5399 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’ve never been a BM, but I would think that as far as etiquette goes you are probably supposed to give a gift at each shower.  Registries are usually full of gifts at a variety of price ranges, so could you possibly just give her lower priced gifts at each event that total the amount you would spend on just one gift? 

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