So...after we made the firm decision to buy the house, I cut my guest list from 130 to 87. Although it has been a very difficult process, I think we may even try to get it down to exactly 80. During this difficult process, I've been wondering what it's going to be like to have a small wedding. Every wedding that I have ever been to has been 150+ and I've always liked the thought of a full room.
Did you have to cut your guest list? How did you deal with it? How many guest are you having at your wedding?
I am having 70 guests. Closest friends and family only. The tricky thing is inviting single people... I've been lucky that I'm close enough to everyone to just explain that we have a small venue/ceremony/budget and don't have room for dates!
I was just at a wedding of 80 guests last month and I thought it was fine!
I am inviting 50 people. I want to be able to give every one my guests my personal attention. Also, I want to feed them well, have beautiful decorations.....and I paid a ton for my ring. I wouldn't be able to have a formal wedding if I didn't keep the guest list small. Fiancee still thinks that 50 is too many people.
we're at 75 confirmed right now, and it looks like we'll hit 80 at most, which is perfect in my mind - enough people that everyone knows someone, but i don't have to worry about greeting/feeding/thanking 200+ people. :) i am thrilled with the amount we have. plus, because it's only family/close friends, it is people who know us the best, therefore we get to have a bit more fun with everything - they expect/understand it because they know us!
I have the opposite problem - we wanted about 50 people and somehow now have 160 on the list. It's okay from a money perspective - my folks are being very generous (as appropriate, since about 90 of those extra people were added by my mom). But we really, really didn't want this big fancy thing. We just keep telling each other it WILL BE FUN. And really, its nice that my folks are so proud and happy that they just need to have everybody there.
I think a small, intimate wedding can be really great. As long as your venues are appropriately sized, so that you don't feel like your guests are sort of rolling around in the room, it will be lovely. My sister got married in a chapel that held 80 people on the main floor, and it was gorgeous. Our RD will be about 40 people, and the room is so fantastic - we keep saying that's really about what we wanted for the reception. And you will really be able to actually focus on your 80 guests, rather than wondering later if so-and-so was there or not.
I originally wanted 100 guest but my FI and father are the type that believes "the more the merrier." 100 became 150... 200... and now it's 250. I would love a small intimate wedding with people I know but with my culture my parents said it would be rude to not invite all their friends. I keep telling myself that everything will be ok. At the end of the day it will be just me and my lovely husband I have to think positive otherwise I'll go nuts!
We guaranteed 160 people when signing the contract for the venue, but we have about 200 on the list. We are hoping that after everyone RSVP's it will be around 160!
Inviting 63, expecting to be just under our 50 person limit. Like Niki, I think it's kinda too many people, but our list got bigger as time went by too =)
I guaranteed 130 at my venue so as long as I have that, I'm happy. I never wanted a big wedding and frankly, I'd rather have less than 100 people than 130. It'd be so nice to actually spend a significant amount of time with your guests, and I feel like it would be much more fun. My cousin's wedding was one of the best weddings I've ever been to and she had about 85 people. Everyone danced, and it felt much more comfortable b/c there weren't TONS of people you didn't know.
My hubby and I invited 60 guests and ended up with 50 attending--it was intimate, romantic and utterly fantastic to have such a small group of people. We were able to have a pretty upscale affair and since we had our wedding out of town, we added a lot of extras to the event, making it a weekend affair. best of luck with your decision and congrats on the house!
Thanks to a small venue, we're keeping it to under 60, including us. We both agreed that we wanted a celebration with our very closest family and friends and our goal is to spend some time with every person at our wedding. Dealing with single folks has been a concern, but most people understand. The only trouble we've had thus far is with a friend of FI's whom I've not met (she lives in another country), who now wants to bring her boyfriend. From what we can gather, this is a long-term relationship, so the etiquette points to inviting him as well, but neither of us has met him ever and with such a small guest list, each spot is precious. We've got our fingers crossed that this will work out...
In any case, if we hadn't gone with a venue with size restrictions, I'm sure the list would have increased to 80 or so with all the folks FI's parents want to invite or to accommodate people such as FI's friend or dates of single folks. However, it's worth it to deal with a few uncomfortable cases to keep the wedding to a size we are comfortable with. To celebrate with our larger social circle, we're having a second reception when we get back from our honeymoon. For those disappointed they didn't make the list, we emphasized that the wedding is pretty much family (FI has a LOT of family), but that we'll be having a larger reception later in the fall. That seems to help a lot.
Best of luck with the list and congrats on the house!
I'm inviting 130 people and it looks like about 120 will reply yes. I originally wanted to keep it below 100 for all the reasons stated above: cost saving, more intimacy, more time with guests, etc. However, FI wants everyone there and our guest list grew to 130. He keeps thinking that the cap is 150 and I always have to emphasize my need for a smaller guest list. It doesn't look like I'd get it down to 100, but I can deal with 120 as opposed to 150.
So...after we made the firm decision to buy the house, I cut my guest list from 130 to 87. Although it has been a very difficult process, I think we may even try to get it down to exactly 80. During this difficult process, I've been wondering what it's going to be like to have a small wedding. Every wedding that I have ever been to has been 150+ and I've always liked the thought of a full room.
Did you have to cut your guest list? How did you deal with it? How many guest are you having at your wedding?
posted by Meiling 13 posts 7 months agoI am having 70 guests. Closest friends and family only. The tricky thing is inviting single people... I've been lucky that I'm close enough to everyone to just explain that we have a small venue/ceremony/budget and don't have room for dates!
I was just at a wedding of 80 guests last month and I thought it was fine!
posted by nikkicole827 5 posts 7 months agoI am inviting 50 people. I want to be able to give every one my guests my personal attention. Also, I want to feed them well, have beautiful decorations.....and I paid a ton for my ring. I wouldn't be able to have a formal wedding if I didn't keep the guest list small. Fiancee still thinks that 50 is too many people.
posted by Niki 433 posts 7 months agowe're at 75 confirmed right now, and it looks like we'll hit 80 at most, which is perfect in my mind - enough people that everyone knows someone, but i don't have to worry about greeting/feeding/thanking 200+ people. :) i am thrilled with the amount we have. plus, because it's only family/close friends, it is people who know us the best, therefore we get to have a bit more fun with everything - they expect/understand it because they know us!
posted by staceyb 178 posts 7 months agoI have the opposite problem - we wanted about 50 people and somehow now have 160 on the list. It's okay from a money perspective - my folks are being very generous (as appropriate, since about 90 of those extra people were added by my mom). But we really, really didn't want this big fancy thing. We just keep telling each other it WILL BE FUN. And really, its nice that my folks are so proud and happy that they just need to have everybody there.
I think a small, intimate wedding can be really great. As long as your venues are appropriately sized, so that you don't feel like your guests are sort of rolling around in the room, it will be lovely. My sister got married in a chapel that held 80 people on the main floor, and it was gorgeous. Our RD will be about 40 people, and the room is so fantastic - we keep saying that's really about what we wanted for the reception. And you will really be able to actually focus on your 80 guests, rather than wondering later if so-and-so was there or not.
posted by suzanno 1,978 posts 7 months agoI originally wanted 100 guest but my FI and father are the type that believes "the more the merrier." 100 became 150... 200... and now it's 250. I would love a small intimate wedding with people I know but with my culture my parents said it would be rude to not invite all their friends. I keep telling myself that everything will be ok. At the end of the day it will be just me and my lovely husband
I have to think positive otherwise I'll go nuts!
posted by NorCalBride 307 posts 7 months agoCongrats on the house!!!
posted by Candi1024 304 posts 7 months agoWe are inviting 150 people but I am really hoping that most of them will decline to come ... I'd rather have 75 people than 150!
posted by sassygirl 57 posts 7 months agoWe guaranteed 160 people when signing the contract for the venue, but we have about 200 on the list. We are hoping that after everyone RSVP's it will be around 160!
posted by FutureMrs 153 posts 7 months ago220 - or 232 with the wedding Party - it's so stupid of me but I always forget to add them in! LOL!
posted by Sweeney2Be 1,488 posts 7 months agoWe'll be inviting about 200 and anticipate about 120 will come. I have a lot of flaky family members.
posted by ErinSea 129 posts 7 months agoInviting 63, expecting to be just under our 50 person limit. Like Niki, I think it's kinda too many people, but our list got bigger as time went by too =)
posted by peihan17 222 posts 7 months agoI have 111 invitations for 216 guests. Will not have count until July 15, 2008
The list started at 250 was down to as low as 175 but my FI added back to 216. Men.....
posted by scheri 47 posts 7 months agoinviting 200, hoping to get 150! we'll see if that happens. good luck cutting! i tried and failed. =(
posted by rebecca 989 posts 7 months agoI guaranteed 130 at my venue so as long as I have that, I'm happy. I never wanted a big wedding and frankly, I'd rather have less than 100 people than 130. It'd be so nice to actually spend a significant amount of time with your guests, and I feel like it would be much more fun. My cousin's wedding was one of the best weddings I've ever been to and she had about 85 people. Everyone danced, and it felt much more comfortable b/c there weren't TONS of people you didn't know.
posted by Bride2bee2009 38 posts 7 months agoMy hubby and I invited 60 guests and ended up with 50 attending--it was intimate, romantic and utterly fantastic to have such a small group of people. We were able to have a pretty upscale affair and since we had our wedding out of town, we added a lot of extras to the event, making it a weekend affair. best of luck with your decision and congrats on the house!
posted by mrsbic 51 posts 7 months agoThanks to a small venue, we're keeping it to under 60, including us. We both agreed that we wanted a celebration with our very closest family and friends and our goal is to spend some time with every person at our wedding. Dealing with single folks has been a concern, but most people understand. The only trouble we've had thus far is with a friend of FI's whom I've not met (she lives in another country), who now wants to bring her boyfriend. From what we can gather, this is a long-term relationship, so the etiquette points to inviting him as well, but neither of us has met him ever and with such a small guest list, each spot is precious. We've got our fingers crossed that this will work out...
In any case, if we hadn't gone with a venue with size restrictions, I'm sure the list would have increased to 80 or so with all the folks FI's parents want to invite or to accommodate people such as FI's friend or dates of single folks. However, it's worth it to deal with a few uncomfortable cases to keep the wedding to a size we are comfortable with. To celebrate with our larger social circle, we're having a second reception when we get back from our honeymoon. For those disappointed they didn't make the list, we emphasized that the wedding is pretty much family (FI has a LOT of family), but that we'll be having a larger reception later in the fall. That seems to help a lot.
Best of luck with the list and congrats on the house!
posted by missm 485 posts 7 months agoI'm inviting 130 people and it looks like about 120 will reply yes. I originally wanted to keep it below 100 for all the reasons stated above: cost saving, more intimacy, more time with guests, etc. However, FI wants everyone there and our guest list grew to 130. He keeps thinking that the cap is 150 and I always have to emphasize my need for a smaller guest list. It doesn't look like I'd get it down to 100, but I can deal with 120 as opposed to 150.
posted by furelysse 59 posts 7 months agoWe are also inviting 200 and hoping for 150-180. The guest list has been my least favorite part of wedding planning by far!
posted by ErinMarieMack 265 posts 7 months agoInviting nearly 90, but hoping for (and think we'll get) 60-70 guests.
posted by MissRuffles 64 posts 7 months ago