How many guests did your parents invite?

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

I don’t really understand the Parent’s List thing, to be honest. My parents invited no one. Neither did my FI. We didn’t ask them to and they didn’t ask us to.

So ZERO is my answer.

Post # 3
Member
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

But if your venue can’t hold more than 100, looks like problem solved, no? You just tell them too bad. Certainly they wouldn’t expect you to cut your actual family or friends for people you don’t know?

Post # 5
Member
636 posts
Busy bee

Yep, none here for me too, I don’t think that’s a tradition in our families (Thankfully)

Post # 6
Member
636 posts
Busy bee

cbj9:  could you ask them if they can put their friends on the B-list?

Post # 7
Member
5883 posts
Bee Keeper

As the parents, we invited 2 non-related couples. Our very best friends, and my husband’s long time employer and his wife, who are also good friends. We are always invited to all their kids’ events as well.

Post # 8
Member
405 posts
Helper bee

We never asked our parents for a list of people they’d like to invite.  We are paying for our wedding ourselves and want a smaller wedding of about 50.

Post # 9
Member
122 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I actually asked my FMIL to make a list for us but that was mainly because FI has a huuuge family and I didn’t want to miss anyone important. I made a list for my family which included family friends of ours (aka my parents’ friends), while FI and I made our own list for friends. I feel like it’s more organized this way. My parents’ side is around the 30 mark (including my side of the family), while my future in laws have roughly 60 people on the list I was given (including FI’s side of the family). The rest 50 are on FI and I’s list of friends.

I know it might sound crazy for some people, but I actually don’t mind having FMIL give me such a long list. There’s a good chunk of people I haven’t met but if it’s important to my future parents in law, then I actually don’t mind doing this for them. They were also VERY clear that they would cut people off the list if I felt overwhelmed with the number, so I think that’s a huge reason why I don’t mind. If I felt like I had no choice but to invite all those people… well, that would be a different story haha.

Post # 10
Member
1158 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

cbj9:  Another vote for “0.” I too don’t get the “parent’s list” thing. The wedding is abotu celebrating the marriage of the bride and groom and the guest list should be designed to best do that as the bride and groom see fit. My parents paid for our wedding in full, and my MIL our rehearsal dinner and honeymoon in full, and yet neither parties pushed us to invite a single person!!

We did invite some family friends that were closer to our parents than to us, but it was because we wanted to — parents didnt even ask. I took wanted a smallish wedding (100 guests) andwould have HATED having strangers or even people who are not important to me on some level present at such an important and personal event for me.

If faced with this, I would have explained how important that was to me and why to keep the list what it was, and maybe suggested a second, more casual reception on another date to celebrate with the more peripheral friends if my parents really wanted to do so. I also think a B list sort of system is a good compromise.

Post # 11
Member
1043 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

my parents invited around 40 and my fis mok invited about 15-20 (half were a native drumming troupe that will be performing though). My parents are paying for most of the wedding ough, so i didnt feel like telling em who they could and couldnt invite.

so far though the amount of ravp yes’ weve received is higher than the number of people we invited… Apparently my family and friends dont understand the etiquette of “you dont add names to the invite”… So were up 3 people i didnt even know existed… Perhaps its my fault and our reply cards werent clear enough, but i thought guests understood, the name on the enveloppe was the name of the person(s) invited…

Post # 12
Member
1112 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

When I made my guest list I included everyone who was important to my parents, because they are all close family friends. DH’s parents invited almost 40 extra people that weren’t on his list. Thankfully they mostly live overseas and couldn’t come, but I was mad that they expected me to cut my friends while they invited theirs. 

Post # 13
Member
2831 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

our guest list is 95% family. i think my parents had one or two people that weren’t on my original list, and they were added. my parents are the type who’ve told me all along that it’s my wedding, so i choose who will be there. and FI’s mother gave us a list. again, it was all family.

 

Post # 14
Member
2162 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

We didn’t have our parents invite anyone. We’re having a small wedding that we are paying for. The closest thing we had to our parents inviting anyone is inviting FI’s best friend’s parents, who happen to be close with FMIL. But no, really, even if we were having a larger wedding, we wouldn’t give them a chance to invite their own guests.

Post # 15
Member
1583 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

cbj9:  Outside of family of course, my mom wanted to invite her card group (5 ladies) and 2 of them are married so that’s 7. FMIL had about the same. FFIL had none.

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