(Closed) How many heartbreaks before…

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: (two answers) How many Heartbreaks have you had? and Are you better or worse for going through it?
    0 (none) : (20 votes)
    15 %
    1 heartbreak : (20 votes)
    15 %
    2 heartbreaks : (27 votes)
    21 %
    3 heartbreaks : (8 votes)
    6 %
    4+ heartbreaks : (6 votes)
    5 %
    --------------------------------------------- : (0 votes)
    better person : (39 votes)
    30 %
    worse person : (4 votes)
    3 %
    same person : (7 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    5111 posts
    Bee Keeper

    @KoiKove:  I don’t know that I’ve had, well…any true heartbreaks yet. Like, gutwrenching, crying for weeks heartbreaks. There was one guy in highschool that I cried REALLY hard about who was probably the closest thing. So maybe 1. But I’m in my early 20s, so maybe that’s why?

    Post # 4
    Member
    1813 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I’ve had a few… HS bf broke my heart, but that was a very immature love. College BF really did a number on me…it was a toxic relationship though so it was a good thing that it ended. nothing major after that one…some minor failed dating things but I learned a LOT from my college relationship. It really taught me what I wanted (and didn’t want) in a partner. I will be forever grateful that I went through every relationship that I did because it led me to my FI, who is by far a better partner then I could have ever wished for!!!

    Post # 5
    Member
    1177 posts
    Bumble bee

    I had two boyfriends before I met my now SO, but I don’t know if you could consider them really bad heartbreaks. Both of those relationships were bad for me, but I had never been asked by any boy to go on a date or be their girlfriend, so naturally I jumped right in both times. I found out, luckily, very quickly that they both only wanted to use me for bodily reaons, so I managed to get out of there before anything happened.

    I think I’m a much better person now, and my SO has instilled me with a lot more confidence about myself and I always feel safe with him.

    Post # 6
    Member
    1584 posts
    Bumble bee

    i said one… but it was more of a slow ,two year long bleed than break. We canoodled after the relationship for those two years and basically dated without the title. ah the silliness of youth!

    So not a movie type deal, more of a prolonged moment of insanity. I moved on eventually (when I met someone I liked)  to a new boyfriend. I now think of him as a temporary place holder =0p

    Though I’m an optimist so I’ve never really taken a breakup badly.

    Post # 7
    Member
    2063 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    2 heartbreaks I’d say. I’m better because of the experiences obtained in the relationship but not because of the way it ended (heartbreak)

    Post # 9
    Member
    6209 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

    I voted 0. I have only had one hard breakup, and it was in high school. I was upset, but I wouldn’t call it a heartbreak. For him it probably was though.

    Post # 10
    Member
    9174 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

    I, against all odds, have managed to stay with my first love – now 13 years later. We’ve definitely had a few hard knocks in the life department among all the blessings, but I feel lucky (and jinxed?!) to have never had my heart broken by a man…

    Post # 11
    Member
    1074 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I had one heartbreak before meeting my FI. I learned a lot from that relationship. Mostly, a lot of what not to do and what not to accept. Fi was/is such a breath of fresh air! 🙂

    Post # 12
    Member
    2271 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I voted for 0.

    I have dated one guy seriously (over 2 years together) before I met FI-to-be and when we broke up (my EX and I), I was very emotional. In that moment, I felt as though I was suffering through the most awful pain I could possibly experience. I felt as though I loved him and that everything had been ripped away from me. I would have described myself as heartbroken.

    However…after meeting, dating and falling in love with FI-to-be I realised how little I loved my previous boyfriend, how I thought I loved him as much as was possible, but in reality I was too young and too naive to really feel true love.

    If FI-to-be was to leave me – that pain would be unbearable. The difference between the pain I would feel is like comparing a grain of sand to the universe – at one point, that grain of sand was my universe and it meant everything, now it’s just a tiny nothing in my real universe.

    I’m not quite sure that makes sense, but it does to me!

    I feel lucky to have never experienced ‘true’ heartbreak and I cannot imagine how strong those who have coped with it are.

    Post # 13
    Member
    835 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: Either Philadelphia City Hall or a small chapel.

    I’ve been in over 20 relationships (lasting mere days to years on & off).

    Out of those, I’d say 3 were major heartbreaks.

    Post # 14
    Member
    1809 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    I said one heart break but I don’t think it totally counts, my bf of 4+ years broke up with me to be with someone else out of no where, kicked me out of our shared home. I wasn’t too upset because we had grown apart but I was heart broken because he kept my dog!! Long story short I got my puppy back and my heart was good to go 🙂 plus I wouldve never met my fi if that jerk didn’t break up with me!

    Post # 15
    Member
    791 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    There are many ways to get your heart broken, not just from a relationship. The worst heartbreaks can come from your children, sickness and death.

    I’m 53 and spent 25 years married to a woman-hating, self-hating, emotionally abusive man. He told lies to my children (I met my now DH while I was separated and my ex told my then 18 year old son I’d been cheating on him). I’m rebuilding my relationship with my son with whom I’d be extremely close. My ex did not break my heart. Feeling I’d lost my son nearly destroyed me. Anything that hurts my children badly breaks my heart. Once my ex picked up my daughter for his weekly dinner with her and she’d had an awful day at school so she was in a bad mood. 15 minutes after he picked her up he returned her like defective merchandise because she “had a bad attitude”. That broke my heart for her.

    I’ve had my heart broken by men, by friends, by the death of my father…and I’ve survived. I believe that loss and heartbreak is a part of life. You learn and even the pain is an opportunity to improve yourself. I tend to be an extremely optimistic person.

    Post # 16
    Member
    2214 posts
    Buzzing bee

    My current SO is my 5th “official” boyfriend, but I would say I’ve had 2 real heartbreaks before him.  In each of my relationships, I learned a lot about what I want in a relationship and in life, so I would say that all of my relationships, even the ones I wasn’t heartbroken over, helped shape my life.

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