Post # 1
Hi Bees! My SO and I have been discussing how many bridesmaids and groomsmen we might like to have in our wedding. He has lots of close college friends that he feels obligated to include because many of them have invited him to be in their wedding parties (or at least he anticipates that they will). I, on the other hand, have always had a more…how shall I put this…”tight knit” group of friends, meaning that I don’t have tons and tons of girlfriends to ask to be in my wedding party.
My SO really wants to have 8 groomsmen and I just feel like, from an aesthetic point of view, that is just WAY too many people standing up at the altar! 16 people total, besides us and the priest? YIKES! Not to mention, I dont want to invite people to be apart of my wedding party if I am not really close with them, and I honestly don’t know if I feel like–at this point–there are 8 girls that I would want to include…and yes, even numbers on both sides are really important to me.
What do you Bees think? Are 16 total bridesmaids and groomsmen too many? Would it look ridiculous? Should I just let it go and not worry about the aesthetics so my SO will be happy? After all, it will be his big day too….Ahh!
Thanks in advance for any help/comments/thoughts! 🙂
Post # 3
I think it depends on how big your wedding is. 16 people in the wedding party at a ceremony of 300 people is different than a wedding party of 16 people at a wedding of 50 people. At the same time, it’s your wedding day. I don’t think you should include people in your wedding party because you feel obligated to, but if you have 8 girls you think would help to make your day more special, go for it, no matter what anyone says.
Post # 4
I feel as if its WAY too many!! As a general rule its one bridesmaid per 50 guests. Also there is nothing wrong with odd numbers, you don’t want to pick someone just to fill the gap on your side. I’m like you I dont have alot of girlfriends so when my man said he was having 4 groomsmen I worried cause I only have three close friends, luckly I was able to ask a cousin. Could asking a family member be an option for you. Good luck.
Post # 5
Thank you so much for your input! We will end up having 300-400 guests. So the rule of thumb wouldnt make 8 on each side THAT crazy I suppose…
Post # 6
I don’t think there’s any right or wrong decision here. We’re having 250 people and a 16 person wedding party. Will pictures be difficult? Sure. Do I care? Nope.
If you personally don’t want 8 though, there’s nothing wrong you and Fiance being uneven. You could probably get away with only having 6 girls without it looking ‘off.’ You should definitely do what you can to let him include all the people he cares about – but you’re right – you also don’t want to throw people into your wedding party that you’re really not that close with. I wouldn’t stress about it too much though, in the end I’m sure it will work out perfectly.
Post # 7
we are have 10 bm, 10gm…i think its around 26 in the wedding party…we have 200 guest.
you do what feels right to you!! i have a huge wedding party because i want every single person that we love to feel included in out wedding.
here is a picture of my cousins wedding. she had 12 bm..12 gm…ect. it was a HUGE party but no joke prob one of the BEST wedding i had been too and everyone felt loved and included like family!
Post # 8
I would have loved to have had that many. I have 1 because we only invited 80 and my partner didnt want it to look like a circus. I think all though it is a lot it looks great in photos!
Post # 9
first wedding there was 3 bridesmaids 3grooms men 2 flower girls and one ringer bearer, second marriage there will be 5 bridesmaids 5 grooms men 1flower 2 ring bearers… – do how many u and fiancee are comfortable with… more people doesnt always mean more drama…im my case i think both my weddings had so far equal amount of bridesmaid drama….
Post # 10
@cejo you are so right! I need to allow my SO to include the people that mean a lot to him. Sometimes, it’s just so easy to get carried away with the small stuff. When you’ve been dreaming about this day ever since you were a little girl, you just want everything to be perfect! Lol
@princess thank you for sharing that photo! It’s nice to know that there are others out there with bigger wedding parties than “the norm”. Im so used to seeing smaller parties, usually 6 or less, which is why I was feeling obsessive over it…I hope you have tons of fun with your wedding party! Looks like your cousin certainly did! 🙂
Thank you again everyone for your input! I appreciate it!
Post # 11
We have 7 on each side…whatever…I’m over the size and am happy our friends are excited about making our day special
Post # 12
more bridesmaids = more headaches in my opinion.
if he wants 8, and you want 4, just do that. you CAN have uneven parties. in fact, I think it’s becoming trendy.
Post # 13
and if you want photo inspirations to make you feel better about it, check out this pinterest page: http://pinterest.com/offbeatbride/uneven-wedding-parties/
Post # 14
On average, I’ve heard 1 Bridesmaid or Best Man for every 50 guests is how you should calculate it so it looks balance. But, in the end, include who you want, it’s your day.
I think 8 each is a lot, but it’s your wedding!
Post # 15
Uneven sides are ok! Don’t ask people just because you need “fillers” because they will feel like just that- filler. Have who you want, he can have who he wants, and things will go much more smoothly than if you have a bunch of people you don’t really want with you.
Post # 16
We had 6 of each, and that was totally reasonable for our 250 guest wedding. Sounds like 8 of each would be great!