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I totally understand you not wanting all of those people around. Its something special and it should be shared with the people close to you. She may be upset but she has to realize this is your day and not wanting all the extra hassle is reasonable. Maybe you can come up with a nice alternative so she doesn't remain upset. But ultimately, its an exciting and nervous time and this isn't something you need to worry about too!
Maybe you could meet them for a light brunch before all the makeup and dressing activites, this way they all get to see you and then you can move on to a less stressful enviorment to get ready
OOoh that does sound like a lot. Instead of making it a personal insult to FMIL's friends you can say the salon can't accomodate that many people, and you're sorry but they'll have to go elsewhere. Like PP said, meet up after for a light lunch.
I'm having 9 people get ready that morning (me, 4 bridesmaids, mom, stepmom, FMIL, and my aunt) and we have two hairstylists and two makeup artists. There's no way I could get away with just one of each!
I get the feeling it's less about 'wanting to see me' than it is about FMIL wanting her 'people' there. Because I don't even know any of her friends, and have met family members maybe twice, since they live several states away.
I feel bad about it, but there is just no way my HMUA will be able to get that many people done in time for the wedding.
Hmm... so do all these extra invited people expect to have their hair and mu done too ... with you? That's so weird ... don't they know that there is a timeline to follow and appointments? I mean ... fmil needs to be talked to if that is what she's expecting.
Here's my situation: I will have my mother and my sister - who is the MOH and I also mentioned to fmil that she could come but for some reason she said no ... not sure why lol. However, fiance will be at the same location getting ready and his family will come at one point to see him to have pictures ... we haven't figured it out. I told him my schedule and that I would like it if nobody sees me before the wedding ... and he is trying his best to avoid anyone seeing me.
I have came to a conclusion that maybe someone will come and peek their head into my bridal suite and I will not go bridezilla on them ... or anyone around me. =) I just have to be at peace ... that's all.
Anyone who comes to my suite knows that my mua is mine ... not for anyone else ...
How did you find out FMIL is inviting all these people to come along?
I think you should talk to FMIL and find out what's what. If what you've heard is true, you MUST graciously tell FMIL that you've put a lot of time and thought into the morning and are requesting that only the bridal party and mom's be in attendance.
I found out because she asked if ANOTHER person can come, and I said 'another besides who?" It wasn't really specified to me exactly WHO else was also invited by her on top of this 'new' addition, but it seemed me that she was extending the invite to everyone in her family.
@MsHymanRoth: yes they all expect to be getting ready with me and the bridal party. I also found this odd. I don't really mind if anyone else sees me, but I REALLY have to be done in time (I am very anal about schedules) and honestly, I don't want to deal with a bunch of people before I have to at the wedding. I know that sounds bad but I have social anxiety and I will be really unhappy if there are a lot of people getting ready with me that I don't know.
Maybe you could call your FMIL on the phone, in person, and explain to her that it's a really special, private time, and that you want *her* there because she is one of the moms. Tell her that if her friends come, then you won't get to spend the time with this new, important family member that you wanted to. And that you wanted to introduce your mom and b'maids to her, specifically.
Flattery will get you everywhere...
That doesn't sound weird at all. Weddings can be stressful and there is no reason to add a bunch of people around you that you don't know and make it MORE stressful.
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I invited my maids, mother, and FMIL to join me getting our hair & makeup done. Now I come to find out that since then, FMIL has been inviting all her friends/relatives to come along too. I'm so upset about this....I really don't want it to turn into a stressful event for me, and I only wanted to be around a few people. Plus, I only have ONE artist, so having a lot of people there means we may not even finish in time.
I told fiance to tell her I really don't want all those people there because there is only one artist and not enough time, and that if she wants to have all those people with her we can find someone/somewhere else for them all to go. I think now she's upset.
Has anyone else had to deal w/a lot of uninvited ppl tagging along while getting ready? How did it pan out?
*EDIT* We are going to a salon that specializes in bridal beauty, the HMUA is not coming to us. That is why they would need to go elsewhere if they want a different artist.