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We had 5 under 12 and 5 under 20
4 of the 5 under 5 were in the wedding and also 4 of the 5 under were in the wedding.
I have two children (4 and 5 years old), so our wedding will be a family-friendly affair. I negotiated with my venue for the children to be charged a much lower rate (25% of the cost of an adult meal) and not be attributed to my "total guest count" (for food & beverage minimum purposes). That allows us the freedom to welcome all children at our wedding. I'm estimating that we will have 25-30 children at our 130 person wedding.
I L*O*V*E kids at weddings! They are so fun. Also, for us they add no expense as the caterer doesn't charge a meal for kids under 6 and virtually all the kids we invited were under 6.
Everyone's kids were invited to ours... but many people decided to get sitters anyway! I would say about half of the invited children actually RSVPd.
I think if I had children and couldnt bring them but showed up to yours and saw other kids there, whether they were included in the wedding or not, I'd feel like you were being selective. I dont have kids but I have heard from the boards how CRAZY people can be about this situation. I would maybe have your fam spread the word about your guest list issue and maybe people will choose to leave them at home. Otherwise, I'd go completely kid free- you dont want to piss people off my inviting some and not others. It's a tough spot to be in- I feel for you! We're having a DW, youngest guest will be 9 just because we dont have any kids in the fam now.
We're inviting 20 kids and 180 adults. We're letting any and all families with kids bring them. We hated the idea of someone not being able to come because they couldn't find a sitter.
We're having 2; a 10 year old and 12 year old. We know both really well, they are very mature, and we're happy to have them there.
We don't really know any other children, and even if we did, 10 is the youngest we'd contemplate inviting. We are tight on numbers, we don't particularly like children, and don't believe children 'make' a wedding; in fact, the worst parties I've been to have been family ones, my OH and I, and everyone we're inviting for that matter, much prefers adult parties.
No-one has had an issue with our decision; in fact, everyone's been pretty happy that they get a night off!
Two. Their parents weren't going to bring them but couldn't find sitter. They had the full adult meals and everything. It was not biggie. Their mom was my manager and she had been very good to me, so extra $200 on the kids weren't a big issues.
@Lexy: I actually love kids at weddings too!! Just can't get around not having to invite them all while keeping our guest list and budget in check. That's nice your caterer did not charge for kids under 6! We'll have to inquire about that!
@sassypants: I really wish I could invite them all! Either way, unless we do invite them all I know some feelings may get hurt and I wouldn't want our relatives to feel we did not invite their children because we didn't want them any of them there :(
Edit: At this point our guest list is so tight we can either invite someone's kid or invite another grown up. Since I come from a large family, we've already cut our guest list dramatically.
@csdncer2013: Could you talk to some relatives and ask them if they would be willing to get a babysitter? What if you paid for a babysitter to watch kids during the wedding?
I would be extremely offended if I was a relative that couldn't bring my kids and I arrived and found out that other kids had been invited (outside of bridal party). Unless, of course, the bride called me and explained the situation, in which case I would hire a babysitter to accomodate.
We will be having a few teens at our wedding (FI's first cousins), but no very young kids. We enjoy children and it is nothing against them whatsoever, but we had to draw the line at first cousins because if we allowed our cousins to bring their kids, it would have added SO MANY to our guest list. Hopefully people will understand.
I think in order to not hurt people's feelings and offend them, you have to draw a firm line and not make exceptions. You can't invite this cousin's kids but not that cousin's kids, you know?
I feel your pain because my cousins have AWESOME kids who are well-behaved, but FI's cousins mostly have kids that misbehave and never get reprimanded for poor behavior... But we couldn't let my cousins bring their kids & not his, you know? So we just had to decide to draw the line at first cousins, both because of budget and *ahem* behavioral issues...
Only the kids in our wedding party, which are my nieces and his brother.
We invited close to thrity children to our wedding (222 guests came), and about 20 children came to the wedding. They were a blast, and they STILL mention our wedding when we see them, 18 months later.
We're having an immediate family only ceremony, so 3 children (my FSIL's kids) will be there.
We are basically only invitng family since I have a big family and we are VERY close, my mom is 1 of 8 kids so that means 16 aunts and uncles just from my moms side of the family and we are trying to keep the wedding small at about 75! and I have several cousins that are young so we have opted to have no children at the wedding, mostly for budget purpose, but my aunt actually did this and she had a destination wedding and the family was good with it and I enjoyed the atmosphere with out the kids, it was quiet romantic and elegant which is what we are going for! I think that it is common for people to not include kids at the wedding my boss only invited select kids and she said she did not have any problems. But dont get me wrong I LOVE kids, that is my career lol. But i guess this may be easier for us than some since we are in our early 20's not many of our friends have kids and most my family said they enjoy going to weddings w/o the kids!
Our venue offered limited space, and my wedding was a black-tie-optional, evening event. Beyond my FI's two minor children (who were in the wedding) and the other three children in our bridal party, the only children we invited were our nieces and nephews, the children of my two matrons of honor (these children have considered me their aunt, and I have considered them my nieces and nephews for their entire lives), and the two minor children of two of my first cousins. In all, I believe we had 13 children ranging in age from three to 16.
@Lulusmom: I love your negotiating skills but I've told you that already :) Right now we're only considering the ring bearer/flower girls as our children guests. It wouldn't be right to allow anyone else (unless maybe it was dire) if we're going the no kids route since then it starts to feel like we're being selective. I definitely want to figure out the best solution with my relatives so everyone can enjoy the wedding. I will look into the babysitter idea if many people find they cannot come because of this. However, if they are in a location close to the wedding, will the kids wonder themselves why they can't come? Also, I hate to say this and be stereotypical or anything, but I'm Asian and I would assume most of my relatives would not be comfortable leaving their kids with a stranger. So the babysitter would have to someone they know or a relative... Which then makes me wonder which relative would be willing to babysit the kids versus coming to the wedding! Maybe I am stressing over nothing and it will all work out in the end, hopefully :) I just don't want anyone to be hurt over this invitation thing, which at this point seems kind of unavoidable :/
@csdncer2013: If you end up needing an OC babysitter recommendation...I have a fantastic one that we use regularly. But I totally get the need-a-relative mentality, so maybe it would be best to ask a teen cousin?
@Lulusmom: Thank you!! I will keep you mind if we find we cannot find a relative babysitter!
Just an idea of how large my family is: my mom has 9 siblings and my dad has 7 (def different time back then, lol). Now most of my aunts and uncles have at least 2-5 kids, and then their kids have at least 2-4 kids, and even some of my second cousins have kids already! So it's like exponential growth! I really wish I could say everyone's invited! A PP is right in saying children are a lot of fun at weddings, imo... I find the most enjoyable weddings I've been to had children involved, which is why this situation is a hard choice. But then I would have a 400 person wedding like my sister, where we are only planning 200 at the most :/
I would limit it by age or generation, if you want to allow some kids. (e.g. cousin's kids, but no second cousin's kids...and no removed-cousin's kids). Good luck, sounds complex!!
We didn't want any but we did have two there. That was only because my cousin was able to make it as it worked out perfectly that they we coming through town durning a military move to Texas. Thrilled she was able to come, but her kids were with her and I had to let them come. Worked out great, the kids were well behaved and so sweet.
I don't really want kids at my wedding, but I know if I don't invite them half my family won't be able to come, and I'd rather have them there with kids than not there. A few of my friends also have babies. I'm inviting those kids specifically, and then addressing invitations for church acquantinces with just the mom and dad's name. If they decide to eschew etiquette (which is 92% likely) and bring them then I'm not going to die, but addressing them that way makes me feel better about it.
The only children who will be invited to the ceremony are those that are related to me and/or fiance or those who are attached to very good friends. I'm guessing there will be at least 20 (6 of which are my nieces and nephews). The reception will be in a church, where I will have a room with a TV showing a variety of Disney and Pixar movies for little ones, including a babysitter or two.
I'm also contemplating putting paper over the tablecloths and letting people have at it with watercolors, but that is still in the "thinking about it" stage.
We are not having kids at pur wedding for 1 its a DW and for 2 we both have too many kids in pur family...so we didn't want the argument of who is going to be the flower girl or ring bearer...If we have a small cocktail reception when we return we might invite kids...but have them in a seperate area (with adult supervision) with activities away from the adults
We're not having any! If we invited kids, they would total 20% of our guest list and take up spots that could go to adults. We can only have 100 people at our venue, so that was the main reason for there being no kids.
We're inviting 20 kids (under 18) to the wedding. I hadn't actually counted until just now!
@Bichon Frise: we're encountering the same problem! The kids would take up spots that we sort of need to give to our adult guests. Sucks that we have to choose one or the other!
We said no children except for family. DH two nephews and my 3 cousins (10 and 13).
We had tons of kids at our wedding. Kid free weddings are not my style at all. Not one made a peep during the ceremony. Never heard a single one cry or fuss the whole day.
We're not having any. My fiance's brother got married in October and that really solidified our decision not to have kids at our wedding. One toddler cried during the ceremony and other kids ran wild during the reception.
We had 19 supposedly coming, actual number was probably more like 25. But it's funny, when I was talking to friends about the wedding the other night they actually said they didn't even notice kids being there.
And for me, they were fine. They were totally enamored with us and the decor and they always got the party started by being the first lil' people on the dance floor. It was a total non issue.
Just 1 came to our reception. My sister's 3 week old daughter was the exception to our no kids rule and she was very good and slept most of the time.
What do you count as kids? I have a ton of cousins that are still teenagers (there were at least a dozen of them because they filled up a table), but I wouldn't classify most as kids. I think we only had one toddler present, the ring bearer. Only a few people invited had young children anyway, but they chose to leave them behind.
I was totally cool with kids at the wedding. It was a Sunday afternoon with an outdoor reception, definitely kid friendly. It just turned out that we got married at a time when most of our friends and family didn't have young kids!
@Minutiae: I would say 15 and younger, at least how we're thinking. No kids because of our guest count limit, not because we think they will be noisy. I would say most weddings I've been to all the kids were very well-behaved so that wasn't a concern for us... But if they did want to run around, that's ok with me. I agree it does depend on the type of wedding you're having and of course, the wishes of the bride and groom.
We literally have one child coming to the reception. But about 15 coming to the ceremony.
The only reason the one is coming to the reception is because he is the ring bearer and its not 100% if he will be coming or not yet...
We're not having a flower girl or ring bearer, so we're putting in our invitiations no children under 10. There are a few who have kids that are 7 or 8, so we'll probably call them personally and tell them that they can come.
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My FI and I are tossing around the idea of not having kids at our wedding, although I've always imagined there'd be kids since I do think they bring a certain lighthearted fun to weddings. The problem is I have many MANY little cousins. Most people say you can just invite immediate family, but obviously that won't work for me. I cannot invite a few and then not invite the rest, right? I do feel bad that certain relatives may not be able to come because of this. We are planning on having a ring bearer (my nephew) and a couple of flower girls so we will have at least a few kids.
How did you pick which kids were invited? Luckily, most of our friends were fine with not bringing their kids, if not preferred it. I'm worried with my relatives people may think we're being selective or feel insulted we could not invite their kids too. Part of the reason why we're thinking no kids is to keep our guest count down (if I invited all my little cousins, they may end up being maybe more than 25% of our guest list!) and a few places we looked at did not have a kids meal option.