Post # 1
I don’t know what to do about the last name sitch. I love my last name, I like my FI’s but I don’t want to lose my last name. i feel like..i was born with this name..it’s mine. Why do I have to get rid of it? My FI isn’t a fan of hyphenating..but also..his ex never changed her last name back to her maiden name..so I feel like I’m going to the second Mrs. BLABLABLA…if I hyphenate then I’ll at least be a bit different from her?
IDK..thoughts?? What are you bees doing with your last names? Are you happy to give them up and take on a new name?
Post # 3
I gladly gave up my last name. I considered moving my last name to my middle name for a hot second, and then decided that would sound ugly for my personal combo of names and just straight up dropped it. I personally love having the exact same last name as my husband, but I know it’s not for everybody 🙂
Post # 4
@EmmiJeanne: I kept ALL my names (First, middle, maiden and married), but will go by Mrs. First Married. I would’ve love to hyphenate but my last name is already three syllables and DH’s is 2. That’s a mouthful. My mother hyphenated. I think it’s a great compromise depending on the names.
Post # 5
It’s definitely a personal decision. I struggled with it for professional reasons, but it is important to both of us to have the same last name, and to me, a hyphenated last name is not the same name. I really like the idea of us being a “unit.” Mr. and Mrs. It took me awhile to be okay with it, because I agree my name is MINE. I’ve had it a long time! I AM Dr. B. Every day. Everywhere I go. But I will get used to being the new. Dr. B. 🙂 I want to be his Dr. B. 🙂
We both have B’s as our last names… that may have sounded confusing. Hah. At least my monogram won’t change!
Post # 6
I dropped my last name and took DH’s. Mine is one syllable, his is three, but his is really long (9 letters) so hyphenation was going to be obnoxious. I don’t feel that my last name is MY last name, since it’s technically my father’s, but regardless of what my legal name is, I will always get in trouble with my parents with my full maiden name lol
Post # 7
if DH had a different last name, I would hypenate it. Theres only 8 of us in the world with my maiden name but DH’s last name is just as long and more complicated so if I hypenated, my last name would be 18 letters long and 10 syllables. full name: 31 letters long and 14 syllables!
WAY too long!
Post # 8
I’m planning on hyphenating. My first & last name don’t go together, my first name is very common american & last name is very spanish. Fi whole name is very common american like john smith type name lol. So his last name sounds good with my first but sounds so plain. He doesn’t like & says I sound like a pilgrim lol. So for now hyphenating is the best sounding option. I did consider making my last name my middle name for like a minute. I think if you’re that uncomfortable with having his last name bc of the ex wife then you should hyphenate. But personally I wouldn’t let that stop me from taking his last name if you want it.
Post # 9
@EmmiJeanne: I use both my maiden and married names professionally and my married name socially and for things like my bank account, gym membership, etc. For example:
Professional: Hillary Rodham Clinton (Ms. Rodham Clinton)
Social: Hillary & Bill Clinton (Ms. Clinton)
ETA Legally, my name is hyphenated.
Post # 10
DON’T lost your name if you love it! Golly! Hyphenate or keep!
Post # 11
I’m keeping my name. FI’s is very common, and I love my last name. I also feel like personally it means a lot to me, but FI’s family is quite fragmented so they don’t have that same feeling about theirs.
FI isn’t against hyphenating, but because of his occupation, he wants to keep his name. I sort of feel that if he won’t change his, why should I change mine?
Down the line when we think about children, we will probably give them both our names hyphenated, or maybe we will come up with another option. They sound good hyphenated, so maybe in the future I would take the hyphenated name that we give the kids. But we still wouldn’t be a ‘cohesive family unit’ because FI wouldn’t adopt it as well… It’s always a toughie!
Post # 12
I wish I could keep my own last name or at least hyphenate. However, it doesn’t sound good hyphenated and means a lot to my FI that we have the same last name so in all likelihood I will change mine legally but for work I probably won’t bother to have my email / signature changed or have my personal email account, facebook etc changed!
Post # 13
@EmmiJeanne: I hyphenated also. I didn’t want to lose my last name and I did not want to lose my middle name either. I felt just like you, that I was born with this last name, it is mine and who I am. My mom has her maidan name as her middle name and she dropped her middle name. I guess to me keeping my last name as well felt like I still had close ties to my parents. But I also feel (I’m 30) that had I been younger I would have taken his. I feel established in my last name so I decided to hyphenate and I am glad I did. I have friends who say they wished they would have kept their maidan name as well, but their husband was adamant that they change their names.
Post # 14
I hate my last name and love his…but I still was thinking of hyphenating. He put the kabosh on it :-p
Post # 15
Actually, I kept my maiden name, but I do hyphenate in social situations. My Facebook has his last name, and I really do need to change that to a hyphen… But they only let you change it so many times.
Post # 16
- Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall
I wanted to hyphenate but the Social Security Administration said that my hyphenated name was too long!
Can you believe that? SO I kept my maiden name.