Post # 1
So I see a lot of Bees on here who know about the time their SO is going to propose. I’m curious if there are any out there who have no idea. Who have an SO who is just saying he wants to get married someday, just not right now, with no further detail.
J knows he wants to marry me. The only thing he’s waiting on is a career. Granted, he makes good money right now doing Landscaping, but it’s a seasonal job that offers no benefits whatsoever. He wants insurance for his family before he gets married. He’ll be graduating from college in 2 years, but then he’ll have to go through Police academy (6 months) and then work on finding a job as a county or city cop. Who knows how long that is going to take!
So any other Bees out there who have a long timeline or non at all? How do you cope?!
Post # 3
I don’t have one. I mean I will be upset after a year or so if it hasn’t happened, but I have no date, or ultimatum deadline.
Truth be told, I couldn’t leave unless it seriously took 5+ more years. But I know we have the same goals of marriage and children, I just wish engagement was NOW! Hahaha.
Post # 4
MeMeMeMeMe! My SO’s the same way, talks vaguely in passing about us being married one day, but gives no specifics on when/how etc etc he would like that to happen. I personally think that’s more frustrating than knowing your SO has done at least SOME planning, ie asked parent’s permission, gone ring shopping, or even has the ring, and is just waiting for the right moment. But, then again, the grass is always greener on the other side, so I might change my tune if I were in that sit.
And I cope by driving myself nuts somedays, but mostly comiserating with y’all on The ‘Bee 🙂
Post # 5
YES YES YES!! I would feel SO SO much better and pefectly content in waiting if I just knew around the time it was going to happen. It’s the not knowing that kills me. If he told me tonight “young.love, I’m going to be proposing next winter” I would have zero problems controlling myself.
Post # 6
@Young.love: Totally. I don’t want to know specifically, like it will be on x date during x month, but I would also be happy with a general season or year timeframe. I would truly be a more content and relaxed gal if I could just get SOMETHING outta BF! Sigh.
Funny thought: What if in an alternate universe (cuz that’s the only way it would be a possibility) there were a site where men were relating with one another about their perspective in all this. Ya know, like, “what’s her deal, why is she so moody? can’t she be patient?” lol
Post # 7
Okay so I’m not waiting anymore… BUT just to pop my thoughts in… We totally had a time line… FI wouldn’t propose until I was done with grad school…. which means we would have been dating for 5 years at that point…. well he proposed on our third anniversary… the day after a big family party where I kept swearing up and down that we wouldn’t be getting engaged forget married for years… but he said he came into some money, we where “emotionally” engaged and felt moved to do it.. so why wait… so I guess I think that timelines are dumb… the surprise was way better!
Post # 8
My Bf says that he has ideas on when but isn’t sharing them with me and I’m not prying or dying to know. I’m only 24. I’m in no rush really. I have the rest of my life to be married. We don’t want kids so I have no ticking biological clock.
I did tell BF that I didn’t want to get married until I had a job and would be able to support myself or the both of us if something happened. We are looking into the idea of moving depending where he can get a job (his profession has a much smaller market than mine does), so wherever we go, I would want to find something before the wedding. I don’t mind being enaged without a job though. There’s no money to be spent then -well just fictional money. A girl can dream big. 😀
Post # 9
We have no timeline – we’re 23, both just graduated from undergrad, just moved in together, were both job-searching, luckily we both finally got jobs. Right now I’m just loving our life together, renovating our house, working on our careers, etc. I am 100% sure that we’ll be married someday and I honestly can’t see myself ever leaving him, even if he makes me wait for a proposal. It probably makes it easier that we’re younger and very few of our friends are in serious relationships or evening thinking about marriage, I would probably feel more pressure if that was the case.
Post # 10
I don’t have a timeline. BF says that giving me a timeline will completely ruin the surprise for me.
The only vague clue he’s given me is that “he doesn’t think it will be a long time before he proposes”, but his idea of a long time might be different than mine 😉
Post # 11
No timeline here. I don’t want to feel like I’m rushing him into something. I’ll gladly mention that someone else is harassing me about it, but never “we need to have it done three weeks ago!”
Apparently his mom has given a timeline of next year, as she’s invited all of her side of the family to the wedding… next year. >.> I don’t tell her “oh I wish he’d do it already”, so I’m a bit amused.
Post # 12
I have no timeline aside from “soon”–a word I’ve grown to hate as it’s completely relative and means nothing.
Post # 13
@Taylor4: Oh, the dreaded “soon”!! I understand loathing that word. I know that he has a plan, and that I won’t have to wait “a long time,” but I have no clue what that actually means to him. A month? Six? Who knows…
Post # 14
There was no timeline for us either. It was just getting to the point where my FI family would bug him about getting married and to put a ring on my finger, etc. And we had been together for 5 years so I can see why they started saying that! Of course we both talked about getting married, and I kept asking him, well, when will it happen? I am getting old! (I am three years older than FI). He said just wait, it will happen. Thats the same answer I would always get. Then I told him, well I want to be married before I’m 30, which gave him three more years, then about six months after those conversations, he proposed! (I was totally expecting him to wait until the day before my 30th birthday 😉
So don’t worry, it will probably come sooner than you think! 🙂
Post # 15
I am married now, but when I was waiting we did not have a timeline. We did not talk about getting married before he proposed, but otherwise had lived together for over a year at that point and had moved to a new city together.
Post # 16
No timeline here… we are saving up for a wedding and honeymoon though, so I guess as long as the saving takes? So many people tell us to just do a cheapie wedding, but he (not me!) really wants to do the full on wedding.
Although the last time I had a mini melt down he said he wouldnt keep me waiting too long and that it would be soon. So who knows? Hopefully we get engaged in the next year and married in the next 3.