Post # 1
I’m the last of my pack to tie the knot, and so is Mr. V. Over the years, we’ve both separately & jointly hosted showers for multiple friends. Now that we’re the couple of the moment, we have offers for showers out the ears. One in my hometown (which no one will really attend except my elementary school & sunday school teachers), one by FMIL’s BFF, one by my bridesmaids, one by his groomsmen, and another by my friends who I’ve hosted for.
Without coming across like an "all i want is presents" bride, what’s the best way to divide the guest list among the various showers? We’re having a quasi-destination wedding, and all of my family is at least 6 states away, so the shower guest pool consists mostly of our local friends. I’m struggling with inviting folks to too many, or offending them by turning down their offer. Here’s what I’m thinking….
I’m thinking of inviting Mr. V’s female friends (friends’ wives) to the one hosted by FMIL’s BFF. Then my closest gal pals (which includes some of the wives previously mentioned) to the bridesmaids’ shower. The groomsmen shower will be a couples party/shower. And the last one will likely be an informal get-together at a baseball game, likely with a "no gifts please" request.
What are your thoughts? How many showers did you have? What’s the most # of showers anyone was invited to?
Post # 3
I have been invited to four showers for a single wedding for a very close friend. I could only attend three anyway because of scheduling conflicts. The bride called me and told me that she wanted me to feel included which was why I was invited to all of them, but I didn’t have to come to all and I should definitely not bring gifts to all. I brought her a gift for the one that had to most mutual friends attending and for the others I brought "little something" kinds of gifts: a candle, a pretty picture frame for wedding photo, just because I didn’t want to show up completely empty-handed. I got a thank you note for every gift.
I thought she handled the situation perfectly.
Hope this helps!
Post # 4
I would not invite a particular person to more than 2 showers. It’s a pretty big time committment plus buying a separate gift for each one can really add up. I would split the showers among friend-groups or else encourage one of the organizers to do a non-shower activity (getting a pedicure together, having a fancy lunch or tea, bachelorette, going bowling, barbeque)/
Post # 5
I think you should try to keep the guest list overlap to a minimum between your showers. If each shower is just for a certain set of friends or family, then it won’t seem too gift grabby.
Post # 6
Wow, you are popular! It’s great that your friends are "showering" you with showers. But, I understand your concerns. I think the way you have it outlined above is fine, but would even combine the two female showers into one big shower. Then have a couples party, then a baseball game.
If you decide to go with the four showers, I agree with Sakoro – two showers max for each guests (and I would even say 1 shower everyone other than family members or bridesmaids). I think combining showers is completely fine, too.
Have fun and hope you get lots of good stuff ; )
Post # 7
Thanks ladies!! I appreciate your input! I feel much less gift-grabby.